This is misfidz@blogspot.com

juz a lil insight into my world....
my rantings & musings...
nothin more, nothin less
& wat goes on in here,
stays in here...
kapish?

so sick rite now.. really!! neva bluff one... sigh.... tink i'm allergic to dubz now lah.. kwahkwah... well, been so long since i last doodled over here.. wasn't in e mood lah... been rottin at home fer e past doggone days... haven't even stepped outside unless u count goin to werk as goin out lah... juz one of those phases i haf.. e can't-be-bothered-wit-anythin-or-anyone-at-all phase.. or maybe it's juz me bin sick.. =/
newayz, got called out fer dhaka e otha day, like immediately after i signed in fer e airport standby, i wauz dispatched to join e rest on e aircraft.. neva haf i worked wit sooo many guys on a single flgt lah... lucky got e otha sinz girl, sarina... tanx to dat freakin flgt, i sorta had a relapse of e flu dat i wuz recoverin fm so i wuz practically dyin in e hotel rm... but, dat's not e only thing i wanna mention.. i had a freaky experience while in e hotel rm itself lah... as soon as we reached, we all made plans to meet up fer dinner at 6pm-dhaka time.. so, i thot i wuz still pretty much full of energy, i watched discovery channel, as usual, read a book, played texttwist on my hp... n b4 i knew it, i dozed off... i wuz rudely awaken by sthg punchin me on my back, since i wuz sleepin on my side... so, i turned n as soon as i wuz on my back, it felt like a force lyin on top of me.. i cld sorta make out e 'figure'.. it wuz like ,erm, it had a film negative effect.. u noe, when u look at e developed films, it's got dat kinda effect... so, there i wuz, bein 'sat' on, fightin back.. well, tryin too.. i rememba how panicked i wuz n i oso rememba readin out those prayers/verses in vain.. coz e thing had sucha force dat it refused to budge.. i wuz scared shitless lah.. den, i snapped out of it.. juz like dat.. at exactly 5pm.. so, i wuz in tears lah... freakin out.. coz i dun even noe if it wuz a dream, a nitemare or did it really happen.. coz e room, e position of stuff in e room, wuz all exactly like wat i saw durin dat 'ordeal'..

thing is, i realised dat i wasn't exactly sleepin in total darkness as wat i normally do, i had left e tv on coz i wuz watchin some show when i drifted off... so, it's not becoz i wuz in e dark.. newayz, i had to talk to someone but i wuz scared e rest of e crew were sleepin so i called obi-wan... he said maybe coz i din wash my feet n all so dat cld be why... den, i needed more comfortin, called home but my mum wuz busy wit guests who came fer raya..(din noe ppl are still visitin.. ) in e end, i decided to scram fm e room, got ready, went to e lobby bar to wait fer e rest.. too darn early lah, considerin e earliest person to join me wuz 15mins late.. sheesh...

sat ard, which wuz so not my idea of a gd time, but evryone turned up, like all 15 of us so it wuz a bit of a change... didn't help my flu at all, bein surrounded by all those smokers.. damn, i seriously tink dey shld enforce a stricter rule fer those who still wanna smoke.. i mean, instead of killin e rest ard u as well, put all these smokers in a box, where anyone who wans some nicotine fix juz pops in.. n e smoke wld be circulatin inside of e box itself, so no pollution n those who can't afford ciggies can revel in e 2nd-hand stuff.. heh..

i'm sorry, i dun haf anythin against ppl who choose to smoke, it's juz dat it annoys me big-time when ppl juz blow e smoke in yr face, wit no regards to e state of yr health or wat.. i mean, c'mon ppl, i wuz sick!! i cdln't breathe.. my throat wuz as parched as e roads in dubz n i wuz havin a tight chest kinda feelin... how inconsiderate others can be simply amazes me.. i noe, i cld haf left e place but there wuz no way i wuz abt to go back to dat room lah!!! no way, jose! so, had an expensive medicine in e bar.. had some cognac wit hot water.. recommended by e barguy.. surprisingly, it did help.. albeit slightly lah.. but it wuz alrite, given e fact dat i cld eat so much at e buffet after e drink.. hahaha... totally gorged myself, e guys were like, whoa, girl!!! hahaha... but e zimbabwean white girl wuz gettin on my nerves big time.. she's like so damn 'over' lah... so attention seekin.. her forced laughters n shrieky voice totally aggravated my headache! n she keeps goin, n goin, n goin,n goin, n goin... u catch my drift? after dinner, it wuz shoppin fer dvds time... den went to e crew lounge.. wahlau, dat one, is exactly like e box fer smokers i wuz imaginin.. as soon as u open e door, yr senses are assaulted by e mix of fresh n stale ciggie smoke... eeeurgh!! obviously i din stay longer than a min there... dey all stayed back to watch a newly purchased ice age 2 dvd.. hahahaha... how cute! so, i braved myself n went up to my room, which freaked me out fer a bit when i opened e dorr coz it wuz total darkness ah... kinda hesitated steppin in itell u.. hehehehe... but me bein e brave me, put e card in e slot n pretended nothin happened previously... but tank god, nothin happened after as well.. popped 2 panadols.. combine dat wit diluted cognac, flu n a full tummy, i wuz knocked out cold til e next mornin, juz in time fer e wake-up call.. hahahaha!!!! shiok man... contemplated callin sick coz my nose wuz severely blocked but no way wuz i gonna spend anotha nite there!! so glad to leave dat place really...

den, on e way to e airport, we were once more stuck in traffic, n again it made me depressed since e poverty there is like so bad ah.. kids were knockin on e window of our bus, callin out 'mama'.. n there were even kids, carryin babies wit em.. i mean, how pitiful n painful a sight is dat?? i hate it lah... totally hate these kinda feelin, depressin, frustratin all at e same time.. frustrated coz those kids dun deserve to be runnin in e middle of e roads, beggin... barefeet!!! dat's so not e place fer em to be at... sigh~
den, onboard, at first i felt pity fer e pax coz dey were almost all labourers, seekin a betta life fer their families.. but, it got annoyin when u see em blatantly strippin u mentally.. n dey simply brush up against u even tho there's like so much space in btw!!! i got pissed off big time!!! n e pity all dissappeared n loathe took over... i mean, i got annoyed over e slightest thing dey did.. like bein so suaku n disgustin n uncouth n uncivilised.. n not knowin how to use e toilets.. n askin fer evrythin dey cld.. n callin out fer water even tho i wuz servin 4rows ahead of em.. i mean like there's sucha thing called patience..

eventually, i lost it n snapped at some of em, i went 'can u pls be patient? i'm not runnin away ok? wait yr turn!!'... felt bad fer a bit but boy, did it feel gd at e moment itself... den i had flashbacks of e kids on e streets n i felt super guilty.. i mean, these ppl came fm dat kinda life so it's not a surprise dey act e way dey do... honestly, it wuz like a ping-pong game btw feelin bad n bein mean... e extremes... eeargh!!! n i hate dat!!!!!

®kinda feelin frustrated abt some stuff lately.. not too sure lah.. all these pent-up feelins... eeargh!!! sigh~