This is misfidz@blogspot.com

juz a lil insight into my world....
my rantings & musings...
nothin more, nothin less
& wat goes on in here,
stays in here...
kapish?

sometimes u tink u noe evrythin abt someone but u really dun... i doubted myself wheneva ppl haf doubts n i feel guilty n bad wheneva i'm doubted... i noe no one means to make me feel guilty but it's juz me.. i feel bad easily.. n it's juz not fair dat i'm allowed to feel dat way while in actual fact i really shldn't.. it's not nice to make someone feel so lousy juz becoz u feel lousy, rite? wateva happened, happened.. dat wuz e past n shall remain so.. no matter how much u tink n dwell on it, it's not gonna change a single thing.. it only serves to add excess baggage upon yrself.. so, dat's y dey coined e phrase 'move on..'.. if u can't let go of e past n continue livin in it instead, u're not exactly tryin to live in e present afterall.. den how can u qualify to tink abt e future? i mean, how can u look forward to e future if u're always lookin back in e days gone by? take it all as a lesson learnt.. sayin things doesn't necessarily make it come true.. it takes conscious effort n willpower.. to werk on yr mistakes n to stop lookin back.. it really isn't fair when u take out yr insecurities on someone else who hasn't even got anythin to do wit it all; now is it? it'll only drag evryone down.. n hence effectively startin a whole vicious cycle.. u need to take life wit a pinch of salt.. not evrythin comes wit an ultimatum... take it easy.. no point gettin worked out over evry single thing.. u'd kill yrself wit a heart-attack b4 u noe it.. pardon me fer bein sucha free-spirit, but life has a way of sortin things out.. plus, there's so many others out there who'd kill to be in yr shoes.. n i've personally seen em wit my own 2 eyes.. u juz dun realise how gd u've got it goin..


i noe i'm not an angel myself n neva once did i pretend to be one.. if i unwittingly came across as tryin to be an angel, i'm sorry.. my mistake.. i'm juz bein me, so if anyone wans to pass their judgements, be my guest!! at least i noe i'm secure wit bein myself (at least i try to be.. hahahah!!!) n i dun resort to throwin my angst to innocent parties... evryone has their own way of dealin wit things, n i choose to take things easier than most ppl.. sure, i trust ppl easily, but i believe evryone's innocent til proven otherwise.. if u dun agree wit dat, so be it.. no one's expectin u to.. juz like dat phrase 'fool me once, shame on you.. fool me twice, shame on me..' plus, i strongly believe wat goes ard come ard.. i'm not all hippy-like, void of fears or worries.. i'm only human... i do haf my fears n worries but i dun let it get e best of me.. oh, n i do have emotions too.. lately, it's been anger, frustration, hurt, etc... if i'm angry, i juz need to be left alone.. i'll cool down really quickly if i dun haf anyone breathin down my neck, pushin me, expectin things to be normal.. i mean, i can't possibly haf a normal conversation wit someone juz minutes after dey made me pissed off rite? dat'll be so hypocritical.. fer me, if i refuse to talk to u, u'd betta noe wat u did/say wrong.. n juz let me be.. i'll be fine soon after.. n i mite even buy u ice-cream (i'd lick it first tho.. muahahaha *evil grinz*)

so, i decided; maybe ppl juz dun noe me well enuf.. here's a lil list of sthgs abt me.. juz fyi (fer yr info):
(not in any particular order)
* i hate repeatin myself
* i hate ppl repeatin emselves i.e.nagging
* i hate bein told wat to do
* i hate bein told how to tink
* i hate bein pushed
* i hate guilt trips
* i hate depressin stuff
* i hate bein forced
* i hate bein doubted
* i hate convincin ppl
* i hate bein angry
* i hate havin an attitude
* i hate bein lied to
* i hate bein used
* i hate ppl usin others
* i hate usin others
* i hate bein patronized
* i hate lazy ppl
* i hate ppl who tink-dey-noe-it-all
* i hate pointin out e obvious
* i hate it when ppl ASS-U-ME
* i hate ppl who disrespect others
* i hate ppl talkin bad abt my those i adore
* i hate ppl being all judgmental
* i hate insecure ppl (be it gfs/bfs/wateva)
* i hate waitin too long
* i hate crowds
* i hate it when things dun go my way
* i hate serious stuff
* i hate it dat i'm not dat emotional..
* i hate regrets
* i hate wars
* i hate overboard cases of ignorance
* i hate violence (esp against women/children/helpless ones)
* i hate hypocrites (in all aspect of e word)
* i hate dbl standards
* i hate hating so much stuff


but there are sthgs i luv as well...
(again, not in any particular order)
* i love my cat
* i love my family
* i love my frenz
* i love my roomies
* i love my bf
* i love my so-called life (it cld haf been worse)
* i love bein positive
* i love bein bimbotic
* i love bling-blingssss
* i love e colours gold, pink, white, deeeeep red
* i love laughin n jokin ard n bein crazy
* i love bein happy
* i love enjoyin life
* i love havin no worries, bein carefree.. HAKUNA MATATA!! (afterall, u only live once)
* i love cartoons
* i love music
* i love fireworks
* i love knowin things
* i love bein told secrets (n of coz keepin em.. my lips are sealed!)
* i love being right
* i love sweet stuff
* i love chocolates of coz! gimme those hot n meltin ones anytime man!!!
* i love frangipani/plumeria/ghost flower
* i love e beach
* i love hummers
* i love watchin loving old couples
* i love cute n well-behaved babies
* i love cam-whorin
* i love shoppin (sometimes by myself)
* i love indulgin in my own thots (yes, i do tink too..)
* i love singing to myself (esp when i'm stressed.. u all shld try it too)
* i love good food
* i love bein lazy
* i love e rain
* i love snugglin under e covers in e rain especially
* i love bein contradicting
* i love havin someone play wit my hair
* i love bein showered wit affection, not too much tho..
* i love being hugged
* i love bein told i'm hot (hahahahaha!! it's healthy to haf yr ego boosted once in a while okie?)
* i love havin my own space
* i love takin my time
* i love bein independent
* i love havin someone to depend on (yeah, yeah.. contradicting..)
* i love bein me.. in fact, i adore me! wit all my flaws n wat-not, i still luv me... n nothin or no one's gonna change dat

®sometimes, i feel so lousy dat no one really noes me.. but does evryone even noe their own selves? as long as i noe me, myself, i, i'd be happy.. i dun need anyone to tell me wat dey tink of me n i dun appreciate bein dragged down along towards depression.. den again, evrything takes time, no? we'll see.. wish me luck in findin myself!! =P