This is misfidz@blogspot.com

juz a lil insight into my world....
my rantings & musings...
nothin more, nothin less
& wat goes on in here,
stays in here...
kapish?

bloody roster still not out yet!!! n it's only a day left til e next mth!!! wat e f*ck are those schedulin ppl up to?!? sheesh!!!!! so bloody pissed evrytime i check up on evita or on e portal only to haf no updates!! i need to noe where i'm goin.. n i need to noe dat i wun be stuck wit sucky flgts like i did dis mth!!! eeeargggghhhh!!!!!!

newayz, did a doha in e afternoon... wit suzie!!! yeay!! finally got to see u huh, babe? hehehehe... but too bad it wuz juz a short flgt.. n we din even really got to sit n chat coz there wuz no time lah... it's so funny.. how we did e longest flgt togetha e last time n now, we did e shortest.. hahahahah!! e extremes.. but, i wuz glad we had dat flgt togetha.. time togetha is betta than nothin... =) miss you!!!!! oh, n e best part wuz, i flew wit like 3/4 of e crew on dat particular flgt before... really nice bunch.. too bad it had to be so short tho.. dat always happens, doesn't it? wheneva u get great crew, it's always a short turnaround n den when u haf to do those long ones, there's bound to be some crew on dat flgt wit problems in e head... geeez... i seriously tink schedulin has as issue wit us crew.. dey simply hate us all... hmph!!

well, dis mth's comin to an end.. phew!! coz i really dunno how long more i cld put up wit dat sucky roster witout callin in sick!! hehehehehe... rather proud of meself fer not pressin '2'.. fer 2mths in a row now.. not dat i'm werkin towards dat upgrade, it's juz dat i wuz scared if i had called sick fer dat double sector flgt a few wks back, those vindictive ppl in schedulin wld gimme more of em when i haf my reserve in may!!! no way jose!!

but all in all, despite e sucky flgts i'd had to put up wit, it wuz all gd.. nice crew really makes up fer it all... not countin dat china bitch of an sfs on e last kuwait turn lah... crazy bitch, dat one...

e entry tonite wuz s'posed to be abt my malta trip.. n e reply to my dearest hao's email... but as u can see, i totally digressed... n now, i'm soooo sleepy... tink i'd betta snooze now.. juz yawned again.. lost count e number of times i did dat in e past 5mins.. heh... will try to update tmr, after my flgt, if i'm not too tired, dat is.. coz i've yet to pack fer e heathrow e day after tmr... n dat's dat!! fer dis mth, at least......

®baby, i miss u too.. hang in there.. i'll be back soon.. i hope.....


some ppl simply haf no brains.. while others juz dunno how to use one... like someone i noe fer example... (keep in mind e fact dat dey're always slammin e freakin doors in e house..) it's way past midnite n dey're watchin a movie in their room.. sure, go ahead, enjoy... but haf e decency to not blast e freakin stereos!!! if i din msg dat person in question, tellin her dat i've got an early mornin flgt dat day n i'm tryin to snooze, it wldn't be dat bad... but i freakin texted her 3 times!!! in a span of half an hour!!! first thot wuz dat maybe her hp wuz not switched on.. or maybe i din send e msg out.. but after e third strike n still i can hear e freakin noise fm her rm, i called her up.. n wat she said simply made me burn....
she simple went 'oh, e movie finishin oredi.. we turnin down e volume liao...'
i mean, wtf?!?!?! i din even hafta ask her to turn it down, she oredi knew.. she obviously got e freakin sms-ES!!! how considerate one can be totally amazes me...
in e first place, i dun understand why u even need to turn up e volume so much as if u're in e cinema.. if it wuz in e day, it's still acceptable... but in e nite?!?
as phua chu kang puts it... 'use yr brain, use yr brain!!!'

once, her partner shared wit me dat dis person actually took up psychology... made me tink.. perhaps dat's why she acts differently to different ppl... i mean, she did mention she hates hypocrites, but sometimes, she can be a real big one.. fer me, i dun get affected dat easily, i mean, i noe there were times when she used reverse psychology on me or even tried some subterfudge... but i'm so god-damn bo-chap (i.e. can't be bothered) dat i tink it annoys her dat wateva she's doin isn't werkin on me.. n i can see it all to clearly when she's declarin her affection to my other roomie... probly tryin to make me feel left out.. i did feel e pinch initially but now, it's so clear wat kinda connivin person she is dat i can't trust her thru n thru... evry lil action she does, or lil thing she says, i tend to analyze it first... i honestly dun enjoy doin dat.. coz it's certainly not a trait of bein bo-chap.. plus it does gets tiring to not trust someone u're in such close proximity wit... newayz, i dun tink i hate her... it's juz dat i'm not dat keen of her weird antics.. n e fact dat she treats her partner wit such manner, totally puts me off as well.. imagine meetin yr 'scandal' in some other part of e world on valentine's when yr partner is rite under one roof wit u... proves how much she treasures e partner huh?

gosh, i'm sooo judgin her rite now but i'm juz in my bitchy mode lah... i mean, i do like her, we do haf our fair share of gd times.... it's juz dat i can't stand her bein fake...

®as i said, i dun hate her... in fact, it cld be worse, i cld haf had some arabic girl put up in e apartment.. but yeah, i do luv her, at times... but when she puts up dat show, it does turn me off coz i can so see thru it.. some mite not be able to, but personally, i get disgusted... it's not sthg personal against her.. it's juz me.. wheneva i noe dat e person has a character like hers, i'd rather stay away..


bloody pics of bintan still takin foreva to get uploaded on multiply.. n i'm not even halfway done... too many pics lah.. kwahkwah... newayz, here's some random pics fm my previous flgts.....


my hot cuppa in e mornin...



check out e gigantic ketchup pack... same size as my big mac!!!


munich wuz nice.. finally went to e town... a bit cold tho.. n e best part wuz dat i ran into darlin dahlia... so nice.. sigh.....

anyhoos, juz came back fm seychelles.. finally stepped foot there... like totally a dream island.. at least fer me lah... e unspoilt nature, e flora n fauna.. n how e ppl live ard it all.. tho i dun tink i can stay there fer long tho... i mean, yeah, i'm into nature n all dat.. but i can't take e creepy crawlies... in fact, while talkin to my baby on e fone, i happened to look at e floor beside e bed n to my horror, there it wuz... crawlin ard like it wuz home sweet home... on e parquet floor of e room i wuz in!!! e milipede totally freaked me out big time... i mean, how i can i sleep wit e knowledge of it crawlin ard, wat if it goes into my nose? my ears?? any other open crevices?!? or it cld climb onto e ceilin n at e rite moment when i lie flat on my back n haf my mouth wide open, it decides to dive rite into it?!? in e end, since baby said not to kill it, i actually braved myself ( albeit squirmish) , took a piece of paper, let it crawl onto e paper n den open my door n threw it over e parapet.. din stay to hear its scream or thud when it hits e ground coz i wuz only in a shirt n nothin underneath.. plus, e corridor wuz a bit scary, bein near midnite... but my bravery definitely paid off since i had a rather gd sleep... i mean, we only had a 15hrs layover so it wuz really juz less than 6hrs worth of sleep dat i managed since we had dinner n i wuz so stuffed i cldn't snooze... sheeesh....


newayz, e beach dat we were at wasn't wat i pictured in my head of seychelles all these while... it wasn't really beach-beach per se coz it wuz probly only 15ft of sand n then it wuz e sea already... someone, towels n flip-flops even got washed by e tide.. so anyways, me n 2 other girls took a stroll along e 'beach' n went quite a distance... took loadsa silly pics... n den made frens wit some of e local kids... a certain brother n sista totally caught our eyes coz dey were gorgeous!! potential heartbreakers i tell u!! n e boy wuz so cute lah, even jumped of e wall to put on a show fer us... while e girl took a liking to me n refused to take pics wit e other 2girls except me... kwahkwah... she probly thot i looked more like one of em islanders anyways... rrrrrite... heheheheh.... but yeah, had a short but sweet stay... wld luv to get e chance to spend more time there n explore more...




oh yah, on e flgt goin, a certain lil ol lady wuz so nice... simply becoz i wuz nice to her to begin wit lah... she wuz on e way to e island to visit her ailing mother... her mum wuz oredi 94 yrs old.... n e passenger, her name's rose-marie, wuz prepared fer e worse... n said dat if her mother really passes on, dey'd be buryin her there, coz her late hubby's restin in peace there too... how sweet lah... but i thot it must haf been hard on rose-marie herself, i mean to go there n to haf to prepare fer wat's to come.. as in a potential funeral n all.. she flew in all e way fm san francisco some more, so it wuz practically half-way round e world in almost 2days of travellin... so i kinda gave her a bit more attention than i normally do wit any other pax.. listened to her story, gave her some stuff fm e aircraft n kept checkin up on her to see if she wuz doin ok... n den, she gave me a note, wit her address in frisco, n insisted i come visit.. held onto my hands as i wuz securin e cabin fer landin n kept askin me to visit her.. she oso gave her add in seychelles askin to come drop by... i felt so touched n warm all over man.. it's like she totally appreciated me bein nice n it's not always ppl, i.e.passengers; show it.. den even on disembarkin, she stopped to thank me profusely n kissed both my cheeks.. n den made me promise to visit her again... sigh, wat a sweet old lady lah... if only all passengers were liddat...

®haven't got any partin thots fer now.. but i keep worryin abt my dad.. i dunno why...


Dreaming Of You
-Selena

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I'd wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

Cuz I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you even see me
And I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes
Would you see what's inside?
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close
But so far, all I have are dreams of you
So, I wait for the day and the courage to say
How much I love you(Yes, I do)

I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Ahhh...I can't stop dreaming of you
Ahhh...I can't stop dreamin

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe that you came up to me
And said, "I love you; I love you too"

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow, and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming with you endlessly...

® HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY PPL!!!!!!! ho-kie... i noe it's a bit weird to be postin a song by person who's restin in peace rite now fer valentine's.. but i juz luv it... n e fact dat i AM stayin up late at nite n dreamin of him when i finally sleep, juz makes dis so... nice? i mean, except fer e last verse coz i'm not dreamin wit him... in fact, i wish i wuz! but nooooooo... i hafta be stuck here n make do wit seein him in my sleep... sigh... dis sucks... drowned my sorrows wit beer juz now.. root beer to be exact.. fierce ah?!? =P well, he shld be up real soon.. tank god fer dis webbycammy.. at least i can see him 'live'.. technology definitely beats dreamin... heh... hope dey'd come up wit sthg fer teleportation soon... it'd be so much easier fer us... sigh........



damnit... dat song i so thot wuz sweet n apt, e one i had in my recent entry, totally reminds him of a certain her... coz apparently dat's e exact song he listened to evry day followin their break-up... how dandy!! n it's not funny either when we went clubbin e other time, n she wuz there, n of all e songs dey cld haf played, MOS had to play 'case of e ex'... i mean, is dat funny? i dun tink so... geeez... i cld tell she wuz all dat n more fer him den... i mean, yeah, it's all in e past but i dunno how come i get all jealous n defensive when she's bein mentioned... i haf no personal agenda against her, i dun even noe noe her.. but i juz dun like e feelin of bein 2nd best, noe wat i mean? it's like tryin to be e replacement.. sheeeesh... dun get me wrong, i'm not insecure liddat, i noe i'm hot (so not shy there!! =P), n i noe i've got gd things to offer, it's juz annoyin when i get anotha blast fm e past, featurin her... sigh.... tanx cupid!!!!! great valentine's....

®let's see, i'll be werkin tmr, on a freakin kuwait turn... while a certain fren'll be in egypt wit her beloved fer a short holiday.. anotha fren's in bintan wit hers.. but den again, it cld be worse ah... anotha fren of mine's on a layover while her partner's stranded here at home wit me, havin wild imaginations of her cheatin ard.. n it certainly doesn't help when dat fren of mine totally allows no means of contactin her there... poor thing u noe her partner... geez.. some ppl really dunno how lucky dey are.. i mean, i'd give anythin to haf my darlin here wit me.. under one roof... despite his tendency to make me feel 2nd compared to her... sigh...


i really envy those ppl who happen to haf spare cash n thus are able to buy their seat on e train to higher education.. n den there's those who really work hard juz to earn dat seat fer emselves, havin to juggle btw werk n studies.. those ppl, i admire..
fer e former bunch, it's really despicable when i hear stories of those lucky sods not concentratin on their studies n party harder instead.. i mean, dun dey realise how many ppl out there wld gladly trade places wit em?? dey juz dun see how gd dey've got it goin on, i s'pose.. probly e fact dat dey were born wit silver spoons in their mouths n havin things fallin smack onto their laps all e time totally damaged their ability to appreciate their fortune.. but let's not generalise these rich folks.. i noe those who dabble n indulge in their vices all e time are probly juz a handful out there coz i personally noe of those who really n actually study more than anythin else... dey're there to get their degree n dey're gettin dat doggone degree, even if it means passin up e chance to be a social butterfly.. n dey wun juz stop there, dey move ahead n pursue dat masters n wat-haf-u.. n mind you, dat takes a lotta discipline n girth.. which i can only dream of havin..

sometimes, when i sit ard, i start to wonder wat's in store fer me once i decide to give dis job up fer gd.. i mean, i haf no paper qualifications n dat's like e major requirement fer any decent jobs nowadays.. i wldn't be surprised if dey expect taxi drivers to haf diplomas in e near future.. den i'd be stuck in a rut again since i dun drive either!!! probly i shld take my econs lecturer's advice n juz get married to a rubber tapper boyfren in m'sia.. hey, at least he's his own boss, init? hehehehehe... but is there still money in e rubber market? n no, i'm not talkin abt e contraceptive kinds, i'm sure there'll always be money made from dat one!!! LOL!!!!

so yeah, it does make me mad when i get belittled due to e fact dat i dun haf my 'a' levels cert.. which effectively makes my 'o's my highest qualification.. which is really nothin in dis day n age.... granted, i dun haf dat higher level of education but dat doesn't make me any dumber than those grads.. does it?! probly dey'd be able to hold betta conversations involvin politics, philosophy n shit liddat but does dat really make one a betta person? i mean, yeah, when someone i'm talkin to shares e fact dat dey're double, triple degree or even phd holders, i do feel a tad smaller.. i do doubt myself n begin to wonder if i really shld continue talkin to dis person in question.. i mean, i dun wanna feel dumber than i already am.. but den it hits me dat these geeks (no offense) are afterall human beings as well.. e same red blood flows thru their veins as well.. (if u dun consider e 'blue bloods' of coz... hahaha.. lame attempt there!) n not all of these 'gifted' one talks to e rest of us under-achievers as if we're lesser beings.. nope, no condescendin tones, no dismissive gestures n e fact dat dey actually listen, dat makes these learned ones more interestin n more, in a way, bigger than their paper qualifications.. which boils down to dat age old argument of IQ vs EQ.. true, IQ will solve many of e world's puzzles but it's e EQ part which adds e human touch when anyone's tryin to solve any problems.. plus, it makes any given nerd more likeable..

which brings me to a particular reality show i once caught, titled 'beauty n e geek'.. it claimed to be more of a social experiment to see if beauty cld go along wit brains.. n of coz, each contestant had either or... dey din choose anyone who wuz blessed wit both attributes.. it wuz kinda interestin to see e way those hot chicks had to literally force emselves to not squirm or gag in e presence of those nerds.. while on e other hand, u also get to observe e way e nerds try soooo damn hard to impress e chicks.. hilarious n futile of coz.. but those guys deserve credit fer tryin n fer dat, i do find it kinda adorable... i mean, gimme a choice of any nerds, fat guys who haf a sense of humility or some hot adonis hunk who tink dey're god's gift to us womenkind or even e mankind; i'd pick e nerd n e fat guys any given day... i can't stand cockiness or anyone who tinks dey're all dat plus i still haf a thing fer e chubby ones... heheheh...

n den there wuz dat season of 'the apprentice' where e 'booksmarts'-those wit paper qualifications, were pitted against e 'streetsmarts'-those witout paper qualifications but r still successful in their own way i.e, entrepeneur, biznez owners, etc... i thot dat dat wuz interestin as well but fer e love of god, i can't rememba who won dat one n which camp he/she's from.. but i clearly recall an episode when one of those 'booksmarts' guys actually talked wit such arrogance n disdain towards e other teams dat it automatically made me mentally 'fire' him ala donald trump.. =P
on anotha note altogetha, juz today, i caught a docu on autistic kids.. (it's a neurological condition dat causes some children to act differently.. check out dis link fer more info.. autism.org) it wuz abt dis boy from bangalore who caught e attention of experts in autism wit his ability to write wonderful poems.. he can't express himself in speech juz like you n i, but he can come up wit a poem juz off e top of his head, n he's only 11yrs-old.. well, those experts flew him n his mum over to london to learn more n i hafta say, i wuz quite impressed wit his flair in poetry.. (tanx to e narrative versions of his poems by e erm, narrator? heh.. =P) reminded me of dat boy, miko hughes' character in 'mercury rising'.. hmmm, i'm sucha tv addict man!! i mean, my last 2 paragraphs revolved ard some stupid reality shows, not e docu, of coz..!! proves how deep i can get huh? geez.....

newayz, i believe sometimes e paper qualifications one has doesn't make a person.. it's e effort put in in order to achieve it.. but of coz in some cases, e paper in itself very much makes a person change.. dey tink dey're mightier n smarter than e rest.. fer these ppl, i suggest stop livin off yr parents n learn a bit of humility.. dat's one word dey shld haf taught ppl like dat in e first semester of their very-much-sponsored course.. i mean wat's e point of havin all e luxuries n papers in e world if u dunno how to act like a decent human being.. after all, stayin in skool longer doesn't make one smarter.. there's many aspects of learnin.. n it's not only confined within skoolwalls... so, if anyone out there still tinks dat a paper qualification is all dat really matters, pls feel free to share wit me your viewpoints.. coz i personally din stay in skool longer than i'd luv to, so i mite be soundin like a real sour grape in dis entry.. i mean, c'mon, i dun even fill my blog wit bombastic words or entries of mind-bogglin arguments or theories.. i juz jot down wat i tink n feel n yes, i admit, i'm not those who blog abt anythin of deep n profound nature.. dat's juz not my forte.. probly due to my lack of higher education? n i dun wanna come across like any of those other pretentious ppl out there.. perhaps i mite be tryin to console myself.. tryin to validate my worth.. wateva itis, no one shld eva make anyone else feel small..

®dis entry is not in any way directed to anyone, wit or witout paper qualifications.. juz me 'voicin' out my thots.. rantin, if u will.. sigh... i juz feel so useless... so under-achieved... so dumb.. well, not really dumb dumb, juz not toally realisin my full potential.. n i feel dat dat's sucha waste.. tink donald trump'll wanna adopt me?? LOL!!!


i'm still in bed.. i'm still hungry.. n i dun see myself doin anythin abt dat anytime soon... i'm drained...
n cranky... not a very nice mix if u asked me.. n even if u do, u mite get yr head bitten off in a flash.. hey, i did say i'm hungry!! and a hungry woman is an angry woman.. no, correction.. a hungry-sleep-deprived-wit-body-achin-all-over-stuck-wit-a-yucky-sucky-roster-too-lazy-to-haf-a-life-tryin-desperately-to-save-n-sorely-missin-her-bf woman is an angry woman... fer sure! yessssirreeeee!
be warned one n all!!!

®juz had a chat wit harlz.. she n salz r goin fer dinner like now n asked me along.. miss em girls!! n there's talk of zinc later tonite.. i really wanna go out n all but i juz can't shake off dis veg-mode of mine.. i miss hangin out wit frenz, juz havin fun.. girly talks et all.. actin crazy.. really miss dat.. i do... but rite now, i juz wanna rot.. there's nothin wrong wit anyone.. i'm not avoidin anyone n i dun even haf a gd excuse fer my behaviour.. it's juz me... sorry... *shrugs* fer those who noe me betta, n haf been in my life fer long enuf, u shld noe wat i'm talkin abt... juz one of those phases.. albeit dragged on fer much too long now... sheeesh....