juz dunno how to put dis n i dunno how to start.. guyz, i'm back in sinzy fer good now.. no more dubai.. khalas-(arabic fer finish)..
juz got tired of it all.. plus i tink i had pretty much served my time.. 3yrs & 2mths there ain't no joke..! especially when u noe in your heart u juz dun belong there... sure, it's all glitzy n glam n i sure as hell cld get used to dat but i s'pose it's high time i woke up from dat bubble.. it's sucha love-hate relationship dat i haf wit my life there.. i mean, i lurve e freedom.. dat's e one thing i'm cravin so much for rite now.. n dat's exactly wat i'm sufferin withdrawal symptoms from.. there, i had no need to answer to anyone, no need to justify fer wateva i do/did.. no obligations.. no one to nag when i wake up late in e afternoon n refuse to shower fer 2 straight days..(e A/C unit at home is switched on almost 24/7 so i pretty much stay fresh longer.. =P).. n definitely no one to comment on my dressing nor comment when i come back late... heck, i cld sleep over whereva, wheneva back there!!! aaarghhhh....!!!! i noe i'm juz complainin so much rite now n i mite as well go back there but as i said it's a love-hate situation... as much as i loved it there, i hated e ppl.. there's a general lack of courtesy, respect as well as common sense.. havin said dat, i'm not sayin dat evryone's guilty of it.. juz sayin in general.. if i had my family , frenz n of coz my baby over there, i'd gladly suck it all up n continue living in denial but it makes a whole lotta difference when u're all alone.. gawd, i'm sucha contradiction ain't i? first, i wanna be alone coz i enjoyed it n den now i go on to say bein surrounded by ppl makes me happy.. sheesh.. proves my point as to juz how confused n lost i am.. now dat i'm back here, i'm currently unemployed.. n dun even get me started on dat.. fer 2 wks i thot i had a job secured.. had my hopes all high n plannin ahead only to receive dat letter sayin i din make e cut... so yeah, i really am lost.. not to mention, i lost my mak long (first aunt).. she passed away at e age of 64, n i feel guilty coz i bitched abt her n i din get e chance to apologise.. so now, i'm so not in e mood fer anythin.. so many things i've put on hold n i dun even noe when i'm gettin abt it all.. most importantly, i'm so not in e mood to sort out how i really feel.. confused is juz to put it mildly.. sadly, i feel alone.. more alone than i wuz in dubz.... so pls tell me why am i here again??sigh...Labels: going-ons.., random rants
