.:throwin muses:.

daft ppl..

2010-05-22T10:49:00.003+04:00

i don't remember if i uploaded a vid of 2 men dancing to daft punk's stronger & i'm much too lazy to go thru my posts to find out.. point is, i loved the vid so much but i just found sthg freakin hilarious.. funny & smart, to me, at least... =P

actually, for your benefit, i'll put up both.... =)

**the one i loved so much (perhaps, i was imagining them dancing privately for me...? not that they're hot but how often do u get 2 topless guys dancing for u??!!)

*& this is the other one i just fell in love with... LOL!!!!!

*smiles*

bobbymarley

2010-03-17T11:13:00.001+04:00

found this....

thot evry guy shld read it, digest it thoroughly & learn.......

welcome back?

2010-02-20T19:50:00.009+04:00

it's been too darn long since i last shared anythin over here but i really needed a place to rant today.. without the risk of getting judged or told off...
basically, the whole week has been nothing but a date with murphy.. u noe, the one with the law...
anyways, i'll try to get this off my chest as quickly & as clearly as i can.. i'm kinda tired, just had a 15-hrs shift.. all the way from brissy..
well, to begin with, i had a case of food poisoning following my return from our trip to phuket.. so, i had to call in sick for my cairns/narita... i had checked my roster for any changes all the way til 1 in the morning but there wasn't anything reflected.. i was apparently in cairns.. so, the next day, i got a call from screwing (at exactly 12.01pm) to inform that i was on brissy/narita for that day... after the call, i simply lazed in bed til abt 2.. and that's when i realised i had rashes/mosquito bites looking stuff all over my thighs & back... there were welts & there were seriously, red & angry spots all over..
not bein a drama queen, i thot a shower would make it better but it only got worse as the spots merged to form a giant patch.. so, ard 4pm, i headed for the stoopid doctor again.. (don't go to the clinic at compass point/sengkang mrt.. service sucks!!)
(sidenote - i had to go there since it was chinese new year & the other company doctors nearby were closed.. e doctor i normally visit charged an extra 60bucks just for that day... which brings me to another cause of anger, but i shall continue first...
14th feb - went to doctor, signed under e company's acct & got a day's mc...
15th feb - hives outbreak, went to same doctor, forgot company's card & clinic refused to let me sign under company's acct, despite my visit there e day before!!!!!! hadta fork out 62bucks for a day's mc... wtf?!?!?)

, called my manager to inform her abt my predicament & all she could care abt was that i shld take responsibility & call in sick there & den.. i shall be 'dealt with accordingly' after....
all i wanted to do was to inform her but i guess her position as a manager means that she shldn't take any concern for any of us & anytime we call for assistance, we're being a hell of a nuisance... guess her job description as a base manager only entails forwarding of emails & lying to the unsuspecting applicants to the job... & i'm the unprofessional one?!
she then went on..

'i actually wanted to email u to come down & meet me. I want u to explain why u made remarks abt the company, saying it's stingy & unfair. that is totally uncalled for & unprofessional on your part. company still pays you when you pax & u're calling them stingy?? if u go outside, can u find any other company which pays you while u're paxing? you want the company to take all these away?!
also, we haf been more than fair. when u needed leave for your wedding, we granted it to u despite only being 2mths on the job. so do u think those remarks u made were called for & justifiable??'

i have sooooo many things to say to wateva she threw at me but if anyone knows her any better, she's not the kind who lets u explain or speak up.. she hates ppl who talks back..

so, i'll just hafta shut up in front of her & do it the talking back here....

first of all, i called to inform you of wat was happening to me, since u are the manager after all, to keep u in the loop.. coz personally, i think if someone went ahead & reported for duty with rashes, it'd look pretty disgusting & very unhygienic.. i'd den offload the person & hafta face the problem of calling in a replacement at the very last minute... which is rather time-consuming & might lead to delays or even cancellation of flgts....
even if the person went on onto the flgt, it mite get worse in the cabin & this in turn mite lead to one crew member down & hafta seek medical help overseas & also eventually having to find a replacement from the other base...
but of coz, our dear manager lives in disney-world where there's no such thing as a 'worse-case scenario' coz evrything works out according to her plans..... she's clueless abt what goes on when we go on for duty & all she cares is that no one creates any problems for her.. even when a crew loses their luggage, they shld take responsibility.. like we all are begging for our luggages to get lost in the first place....!!

secondly, when i called the company 'ngiao' , i honestly didn't noe that that assistant of yours would rat out on such a small matter... ( tho in all honesty, the company IS stingy!!! 5bucks per hour?! how much more bloody generous can anyone get?! )
why is it then, did she laugh when i said that & even contributed

'U didn't noe? welcome to the company..'

now, isn't that unprofessional too??

lastly, i've been married for half a year now; & that's the best you can dig out of my record??
in the first place, before i even handed over the freaking $1850 & signed the contract, i specifically asked if i would be able to get leave for my wedding since we would still be in probation... not my fault that u decided to postpone the training from feb all the way to may... (and the bloody interview was in nov, mind you)
i still remember your kind reassurance that it'd be no hassle at all as long as i informed in writing.. had i known it was out of goodwill that i had the measly 7-days off, i wldn't haf had even signed the papers!! it's MY wedding!!! u tink that 7-days was sucha gift?! i didn't even get to haf a honeymoon proper because the rosters were released so late into the month!!!!
other places would probably offer marriage leave but i got peanuts..... i get called ungrateful instead...
*pfft*

moving on from that, a bloody pax sent in a complaint form...

i would love to elaborate on this matter coz it brings my blood to a boil but all i can point out is; he's indian... 'nuff said.
(one of my old entry also involved the same word-manipulating-attention-seeking species..)
i am NOT racist, don't see the point in elaborating any further..

as for today, on the flgt, i did blankets, landing cards, video, service as well as clearance... maybe we shld just haf 2 crews instead of 5.. coz there certainly wasn't a 'team' onboard... & i wldn't mind getting paid for the other 3 since i'm doing their job anyways... den a drunkard wanted to write a 'formal complaint' abt me for refusing to sell him alcohol.. i did not refuse him, the manager did. but he asked for my name. so we'll wait & see....

so, when we were reaching, i was just psyching myself since i'll finally get to see him after almost a wk.. as i said to one the crew, 'this is the only part of the whole flgt i'm looking forward to.... i get to see him!'
even got a dozen krispy kreme with him in mind but of coz, murphy had to make sure nothing goes right & i'd left the doughnuts, along with my expensive chocolate potato chips, all the way from narita, in the cart onboard... not that the donuts came cheap.. it was almost 20 aussie bucks...!! i was oredi in a let-it-be state of mind but the crew insisted i find them coz they felt bad for me.. (that drunkard really abused me, i'm not exaggerating)
so, the csm took me to lost & found & i knew that HE wld not react in a manner i'd love to see... coz i saw him waiting at the hall oredi & i noe how he is with waiting ard & wasting time...
ground staff called some ppl & while waiting for the catering ppl to get back to them, i called HIM... surprise, surprise, he was upset... i was too, to say the least.... but he came to fetch me so of coz that trumps it all... oh, & he had back-ache...
on the other hand, my heels were like fluffy clouds & my glasses ( dropped my lens into the sinky.. thanks, murph!! ) totally massaged my temples the entire day & i had just came off from a 15-hrs leisurely walk in the park...

not as if someone didn't leave the money for our phuket trip the other day.... & not as if we've never gone thru the 'i'm-fetching-u-so-it's-a-big-deal' issue before...
ah well, wat can u expect? romance is dead.

®it feels sooo much better to let all that out.. it's kinda sad that i hafta resort to this as an outlet.. seems like there's no one out there i can really talk-talk to.... *sigh* =(

juz a quickie..

2008-12-31T15:49:00.003+04:00

i'm still at work now, tryin to finish up evrythin so i can leave dis place ASAP.. so dis will hafta be rather short & sweet.. been meanin to post my thots for the last few moments of 2008 & resolution (or lack of it) for 2009...
all i noe, i'm lookin forward to e fireworks display later on, to usher in 1st jan, once more.. keepin my fingers crossed dat i'll get a better view compared to last year's & keepin my fingers crossed both of us won't flare up like last year as well.. =P
2008.. hafta say it's been eventful.. left emirates.. still haf a tinge of regret over dat.. working at a new place now, after my stint with e animals over at nite safari.. (miss dat place... =/)
got engaged, still plannin for e big day.. so, i'm totally welcomin 2009 with bated breathe.. hmmm, kinda distracted rite now, with e colleagues making it feel like it's a forex here... *grrrr*
guess dat's abt it for now...
wanna wish all e beautiful souls out there a very happy new year & may all be blessed with health & happiness always...
it's off to haf dinner with e family den... =)

21 questions..

2008-12-12T16:29:00.000+04:00

story of my life currently; work,sleep.. wake up, work,sleep... wake up, work, sleep... n repeat......
but i guess i learnt sthg abt myself during e trainings.. (which juz passed e 2nd wk n movin into e third)... i ask questions.. as in, when i dunno, i dun keep mum.. not like last time.. coz to ask questions wld deem me stupid.. but i figured now, dat if u dun.. u ARE stupid.. afterall, trainers are there to impart their knowledge and if i dun seize e opportunity to be stupid during training, it's not gonna help if i'm lost on e job... ho-kay.. i sound like i luv my job oredi.. far fm it... i dun even noe it yet so i can't profess any feelings right now... i'll keep u posted soon...

have a lovely weekend y'all!! i hope i will.. =)

veg it out...

2008-12-08T12:24:00.001+04:00

wat a lazy day....

had fun at velvet last nite tho... too bad cldn't get to see steve aoki.. but hey, we did get free entry thanks to ade's affiliation to e weddin held at velvet.. tho dat free chop isn't like e normal velvet coverage.. =( anyways, i guess one must be damn loaded to hold a wedding bash there.. n e groom apparently was so.. he has 6 cars! n he was so wasted lah.. hahaha!! but damn, how come i neva get to meet any filthy rich guys? no fair!! saw skinny patricia mok n toothy ericia lin.. can i be a mediacorp star too? pls? i'll be e chubby, chunky fidah.. hahahaha!!!
all in all, we did haf a blast, lotsa kissing going on... it's all abt e lurve.. =P
jaz n kath only came in ard 11.30-ish.. i luved e eyelashes gunglue!! n it wuz so good to see kath again after soooo long.... tina wuz sleepin by 2, n i sent her off to take a cab... girl, u need to pace yrself wit e drinks.. skulling is fun i guess but not 4 drinks in a row.. plus, u're more fun when u're awake.. =)
ade wuz high, n kissy-kissy all over george... wendy wuz nuts for e tokyo guy, but got caught in e act by her bf, bobby.. n not to mention, she fell off e high chair... max, e cute german turns out not gay n has a gf back in munich.. n hao's world wuz spinnin n he won our game.. he got 2 drinks bought for him... n i had none.. but he got the drinks from max ( hence e gay suspicion..) so i dunno if dat shld still count..

still haven't post abt ade's wedding over last wkd.. but it is a lazy day......... n i'm too lazy to even charge my dying lappy..... =P

shut it up!!

2008-11-22T13:54:00.000+04:00

it jus goes on & on & on & on & on & on & onnnn & onnnnnnn & onnnnn.......
& on.....
make it stop..

been there, done that..

2008-11-17T15:38:00.003+04:00

I'd rather move seven thousand miles away to dwell in my own inadequacy as a person than spend the next three months trying (pointlessly) to find out who that person is.
My shoulders stop shaking as I take deep breaths, trying to get a hold of myself as I sit hoping that something will happen that will give me hope again, something will make me proud of who I am again, all I know I have to offer, and inspire me to get rid of my gloom-and-doom attitude that repulses Jared - and me too. That something will happen that will inspire me to look for a job I want rather than a job I think I should want. That something will make me realize what I want. To stop judging my self-worth based on some interview about haircutters. To stop interpreting job callbacks as in any way indicative of my value as a person.
I sigh and mutter to myself, ' I wish Jared didn't hate me . . . and I wish I knew how to get a job.' If only I had a job, none of this - with Jared, with me, with Majuro -- would ever have happened. I'd be happy with who I am. There would be no self-loathing, no jealousy, no selfishness.

Help Wanted, Desperately
by
Ariel Horn

®cldn't haf said it better myself....

..punggol drive..

2008-11-12T19:05:00.001+04:00

ours is the building to the left of the pathway thingy

today marks anotha milestone in my life thus far... we went for our flat selection with HDB.. for the uninitiated, dat's the Housing Development Board for us singaporeans.. and boy, are houses here expensive or wat?! i could probly get a villa back in dubz wit e kinda money we're forkin out for our flat.. well, currently, mostly baby's forking out.. considerin i'm jobless again.. but i'd rather use e term 'in-between' jobs...

let's not digress.. basically, we've paid e down-payment for the apartment so it's a do-or-die situation.. as in, no matter wat, we hafta get dat flat.. we thot we were e first ones in line, reachin there at 8.45am but we were nowhere near.. there wuz probly like 10 other numbers ahead of us.. so by the time it got to our turn n we made our choice, e unit dat we wanted wuz oredi snapped up.. more of like 'in-e-process' of being snapped up!!!! by e couple rite behind us, i tink.. those buggers!!!! damn!
so in e end, we took e 7th floor unit.. it's not too bad, (enuf of 2nd floors!) i like e idea of e balcony facing the park thingy.. of coz i wanted e unit facing the waterfront, but those were snapped up like hot potatoes..(i like potatoes)

only downside is, e flats aren't built yet.. it's under e BTO (Built-to-Order) scheme n earliest completion date's gonnabe 2012.. which is a loooooooong way to go... *pfft*

we actually went to e site for the development as soon as we got selected.. so yeah, dat pretty much sums up juz how excited we both are.. =P

ohyah, out of 186 units, we got queue number 160.. odds were pretty much against us gettin e prime units anyways.. but i'm not complaining.. coz it wuz our first time applying after all.. plus we did it really out of jest, like 3 days to closing for e applications..

wat's more important, is dat i'm doin dis wit the one i love.. e one i plan to share e rest of my life with.. be it in times of laughter or moments of angst... we've been thru quite a bit togetha, n we've managed to get this far unscathed.. i mean, we survived long-distance, survived our individual stubbornness, survived each annoying habits, survived those 'kidnapping' incidents', survived moments when we could simply walk out on each other.. we've survived..

n i noe the road ahead's not gonna be any easier but if being together means me being 'stupid' in the eyes of others, me giving up shopping sprees (not totally pls..), us tying the strings on our purses juz dat lil bit tighter, juz to name a few, i'm more than willing.. afterall, dat's wat u're s'posed to do when u really luv someone rite? i mean, i'm not in dis for riches or fame.. we're in dis on our own.. we're standin on our own two feet and at e end of e day, it's juz gonna be us two... evryone's got their own lives to live n own opinions to hold.. and as dey say, 'each to his own'..

dun get me wrong, i'm not saying dat i should forsake evrythin or evryone else in dis pursuit of mine.. it's juz dat i tink i'm at e crossroad where my priorities are juz a lil bit different.. n i shld really get that in my head..

here's to us, baby.. may we survive evrythin else and finally get that life togetha dat we wanted.. (i.e.may we be able to walk around naked in our own home soon!! heee....) here's to e journey ahead.. insya'allah... wateva u do, hold my hands n dun let go...

can u see us waving from our apartment?? heehee....

dress, to impress..

2008-11-10T08:56:00.000+04:00

sucha nice lazy weather to veg out at home... but, i hafta go for an interview... damn......
wish me luck!

i tink dis font color's betta on dis background... wat say u?

under construction...

2008-10-31T14:05:00.000+04:00

finally changed my blogskin.. still not too happy abt it tho... =/

neurotic yet?

2008-10-30T13:38:00.001+04:00

when i received the email with details for the aptitude test yday, it wuz very straightforward.. it stated e adress, contact person n a single item to bring along..

* a writing pen

dat's all to bring.. simple enuf rite? well, it shld be.. i spent a gd 5mins, juz figuring dat one out..
as in, i started thinkin whether i should bring a black or a blue pen..? wat if i make mistakes.. shld i bring correction pen??
i'll bring 2 pens in case one runs out.. but wat if e other one runs out too?? so, i shall haf a back-up for my back-up... aargh..! i'll bring e whole pencil case den!!!!!

in e end, i brought 2 pens.. one black, e other blue...

so i thot dat wuz e end of my neurotic attack... but wuz i so wrong..

there were a couple of tests we had to sit for, mainly to process your logic and personality traits.. sounds pretty harmless.. and i did them the best i could.. there were like 50 questions fer each paper which we had to finish in 12mins..
so i did wateva i could in dat time-frame and wuz told to wait for their call within this 1 or 2 weeks.. so i left e building, thinkin it wld be a great day since i am outside.. ( i've been under 'voluntary' house arrest of late..)

as soon as i sat down on e bus, i started panicking... wat if e test wuz a test..?
as in, wat if e 12mins 'countdown' wuz juz a ruse?? coz it made me so focused on dat fact, n i only wanted to finish e whole paper, dat i realised i didn't even flip thru the whole thing! i only managed 29 questions so there were 2 more pages at e back which i din even haf a look-see..!!
n wat if, e last page wuz full of instructions, telling you not to do certain questions or even congratulating you for goin thru the paper before diving in head-first???!!

ok, ok.. breathe......
yeah, so my 'great day' totally got ruined, on top of e fact dat me n him were at logger-heads (wat's new?) and i'm still hurtin over some of our 'exchanges'....
but i thot to myself, 'hey, i've not been out for so long, e weather's great.. it's still early.. let's make e best of it!'

and dat quiet stroll along e singapore river really helped.. not considering e noon-day sun..... it did soothe me quite a bit.. hearin the splash of the river on the 'banks'.... soaking in my dosage of sunshine.. the gentle caresses of the breeze...
~aaahhhh~
bliss......
i heart mother earth...

and then, i headed home.. =(

i did go to the F1 thank-you party later dat nite and almost got e first prize of 5-nights' stay at hard rock bali... my number wuz 300... e number they called out?? 3-0-4..... eeearrrgh!!!!
i seriously need a holiday....

stay tuned..

2008-10-28T14:48:00.000+04:00

so; i've decided... gonna change the whole look of this blog.. kinda hate e fact dat my posts gets somewat distorted.. as in my question marks sometimes start e sentence, not end it.. yeah, i've juz turned OCD..

things dat make me smile... =)

2008-10-21T13:15:00.002+04:00

watch dis...

sweet, ay? makes u warm inside...

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now, watch DIS....

luvs it..... hee...

i've always had a thing fer chubby guys... =P

where's e cake??

2008-04-21T21:00:00.001+04:00

to all e well-wishes out there.. thank you.. thank you very much... keep e good karma flowin.. =)

well, i'm officially a quarter of a century old n i'm so not in e best of moods.. no reasons.. i dunno.. juz am... i hate feelin like dis but i guess i'll juz hafta sit it out.. since i dun haf much of a choice rite now.. i mean, i'm in limbo.. no werk.. no skool.. nothing..
absolute limbo.. n i'm very much conflicted wit my feelings on dat..
on one hand, i'm relishin in e fact dat i get to wake up when i want n do wateva wheneva i want.. well, pretty much..
actually, correction.. i dun really get to do wateva wheneva coz my broken n tattered wings haf been clipped in evry way possible.. i mean, i'm a grown adult, 25, fer cryin out loud n yet i still hafta answer to various parties regardin my do's n wants... n i HATE dat.. i hate e fact dat i'm still undermined in my independence.. n i dun enjoy havin comments on e way i dress.. n most of all, i hate havin to report strength to whoeva itis dat calls when i'm out late.. i understand all e care n concern n wat-nots but i haf a brain of my own.. pretty unconvincing but yeah i do.. it still werks albeit a bit rusty.. n attempts to make me see fm e same light as u wld neva werk.. so pls dun blame others fer my decisions/opinions/actions.. n stop tinkin of me as an immature adolescent who's got a penchant fer gettin into trouble.. last i checked, i've neva been a juvenile delinquent.. so i tink e chances of me turnin into one is rather slim...

glad to be addressin dat issue tho i noe it wun change much of anythin... juz feels betta to get it off my chest.. speakin of chest, mine's been hurtin fer over a month now.. n sometimes in e middle of e nite, i wake up unable to breathe.. i'm pretty concerned n i've been tinkin of visitin e doc's.. but dat's all i do.. 'tink of it'.. gosh, it's a scary thot to be chokin to death simply coz my airways gets constricted.. tho i noe of a someone who'll probly be happy to receive dat news.. made dat 'joke' out of my concerns n all..
den again, i've got all these pent-up feelings/thots in me which is probly why my chest feels e way it feels.. see, dat's my problem.. i simply can't voice out e truly important stuff dat bugs me n i choose to juz repress it in hopes of it all juz goin away..

i try so hard to juz be simple n free but i guess e more u try, e harder it is.. i've always prided myself in bein free-spirited/happy-go-lucky so it's really hard fer me to dwell on e things dat bug me n it's even harder to explain it to others when i can't even understand it myself.. hmm.. i really dunno where i am goin in dis post but i s'pose i do feel somewhat lighter havin said all dis.. n e fact dat it's a one-way 'conversation' suits me juz fine.....

also, if i'm all gloomy n moody n aloof, so be it.. let me be.. probly i'm e way i am becoz i've got other things in mind??.. which is probly oso in no way is connected to e fact dat i wanna spite/offend u... dun wanna play e name game but i do haf a couple of 'culprits' in mind.. u juz can't expect me to act e way how u wan me to okie? especially if i haf no inkling of e fact dat my actions or rather lack of it, hurts others.. as a wise fren once said.. i'm too popular.. can't please evryone, ay?

i admit i expect ppl to read my mind n noe wat i feel like all e time but i tink i expect too much.. yeah, yeah.. i've double standards but hey, take it or leave it.. it doesn't take much to make me happy n if u still dun get it, u still dunno me...

® ok, ok.. i'm blabberin once more.. but i'm sleepy n juz wanted to get my msg across.. see?? even forgot to give a low-down on e 'celebrations' fer my milestone bifday.. (who am i kiddin??! spent e whole day moping at home.. whoop-de-freakin-doo..... honestly feelin bitter abt dat.. movin along now...........) neways, can't believe how long it's been since i last blogged.. to e extent of forgettin e HTML codes i use as short-cuts.. i totally blanked out fer a moment.. =P

too late to apologize...

2008-04-01T15:02:00.000+04:00

juz dunno how to put dis n i dunno how to start.. guyz, i'm back in sinzy fer good now.. no more dubai.. khalas-(arabic fer finish)..
juz got tired of it all.. plus i tink i had pretty much served my time.. 3yrs & 2mths there ain't no joke..! especially when u noe in your heart u juz dun belong there... sure, it's all glitzy n glam n i sure as hell cld get used to dat but i s'pose it's high time i woke up from dat bubble.. it's sucha love-hate relationship dat i haf wit my life there.. i mean, i lurve e freedom.. dat's e one thing i'm cravin so much for rite now.. n dat's exactly wat i'm sufferin withdrawal symptoms from.. there, i had no need to answer to anyone, no need to justify fer wateva i do/did.. no obligations.. no one to nag when i wake up late in e afternoon n refuse to shower fer 2 straight days..(e A/C unit at home is switched on almost 24/7 so i pretty much stay fresh longer.. =P).. n definitely no one to comment on my dressing nor comment when i come back late... heck, i cld sleep over whereva, wheneva back there!!!

aaarghhhh....!!!! i noe i'm juz complainin so much rite now n i mite as well go back there but as i said it's a love-hate situation... as much as i loved it there, i hated e ppl.. there's a general lack of courtesy, respect as well as common sense.. havin said dat, i'm not sayin dat evryone's guilty of it.. juz sayin in general.. if i had my family , frenz n of coz my baby over there, i'd gladly suck it all up n continue living in denial but it makes a whole lotta difference when u're all alone.. gawd, i'm sucha contradiction ain't i? first, i wanna be alone coz i enjoyed it n den now i go on to say bein surrounded by ppl makes me happy.. sheesh.. proves my point as to juz how confused n lost i am..

now dat i'm back here, i'm currently unemployed.. n dun even get me started on dat.. fer 2 wks i thot i had a job secured.. had my hopes all high n plannin ahead only to receive dat letter sayin i din make e cut... so yeah, i really am lost..

not to mention, i lost my mak long (first aunt).. she passed away at e age of 64, n i feel guilty coz i bitched abt her n i din get e chance to apologise..

so now, i'm so not in e mood fer anythin.. so many things i've put on hold n i dun even noe when i'm gettin abt it all.. most importantly, i'm so not in e mood to sort out how i really feel.. confused is juz to put it mildly.. sadly, i feel alone.. more alone than i wuz in dubz.... so pls tell me why am i here again??

sigh...

...time out time...

2008-03-22T13:32:00.000+04:00

bloody, bloody toot...!!

2008-01-14T11:15:00.000+04:00

well, well, well.....
it's been a yr since i last wrote in here... well, almost.. hahahaha..
nothin new happened.. not dat i can tink of.. but, it is RAINING here in dubz.. yes.. raindrops fallin fm e sky.. i mean, it's rained b4 but not like yday/today... e streets are wet.. n i had fun walkin in e rain yday evenin to get my passport pictures taken.. ( dey only do 12pieces here.. n i juz needed like 2, or at most, 4.. like in sinz.. but noooo... wat e hell am i gonna do wit a dozen pics of my fat face smilin back?!?) it's winter now, but i dun recall it rainin so much fer e previous years i've been here.. which is comin to 3.. in like 11days.. =) time flies huh?

but neways, i wuz talkin abt e winter n rain.. n it's been so gloomy lately dat it really makes me go into e i-can't-be-bothered mood.. n i juz wanna spend e whole day under e duvet.. perhaps, i've got really strong hibernation DNA in me.. but seriously, i called sick fer my flgt yday n i'm so gonna call sick again fer my lagos, nigeria tmr.. not dat i'm really sick of coz.. hehehe.. there's juz too many factors to make me resort to dat besides e weather.. my visa's expirin at e end of e mth so i hafta get it renewed or end up bein an illegal immigrant here.. of all places.. BUT, it takes 3 workin days to get it done, which in my opinion is a bloody hassle n a waste of time, so i wun be able to make it fer my flgt.. dun even get me started on e painful process juz to go abt gettin evrythin renewed..

i tink i'm gonna dedicate dis next paragraph on e whole process.. skip to e next if u ain't got e time... =)
well, first of all, u've got to personally submit yr passport n visa copy plus 2 photos at e employee svces ctr, juz to get an appointment to get yr blood test done.. n mind you, dis said employee svce ctr is not juz down e road.. i hafta make my way down to e other side of dis bloody place, fight e traffic n all n pray hard dat i even get a cab.. e last time i went there, it took almost 2hrs juz to get back hm.. so, after at least 5days, u hafta bring yrself back to e same place, to submit yr original passport plus 2 more photos n wait anotha 3bloody working days before u can collect evrythin.. n pls come in e afternoon, when e traffic is e 'best', n wait fer eternity while e counters take ages to serve u.. i mean, c'mon!!! why can't u juz simplify e whole torture?? there's so many ways i can tink of to cut down e whole process n it simply annoys me dat i hafta call sick coz i dun haf my bloody passport to go to werk.. okie, it's my fault i din do it on my days off, but even if i did stay in dubz den, it'd be a weekend where these ppl dun go to werk.. or a holiday of some sort.. juz like today.. all roads are closed juz coz bush is in town.. but i shall touch on dat in a while.. so yeah, now, i'll hafta call sick again tmr but really, who gives a hoot? i've made up my mind to leave dis god-forsaken place after e bonus, which is in june.. so i dun quite care anymore..

well, yep, as i mentioned, all e roads, tunnels, bridges are closed fer today.. fm 5am-5pm.. juz coz bloody bush is in town.. big fuckin deal if u were to ask me.. fair enuf, it's an arab ctry n there's no harm in bein paranoid, but if u're so scared, den dun come!!! e place is like a ghost town.. n bear in mind, i stay along sheikh zayed rd, which is like e most major road a rd can be ard here.. so it's pretty amazin not to see any cars whizz by or in a weird way, e bad traffic.. it's like so surreal.. probly dat's y it rained so much e whole day.. it's an omen.. hmmmm....
but yeah, i'd always imagine runnin across e 8 lanes of road juz to get to e other side n i tink i've been given e opportunity now.. =P shld i??

hung-over....

2007-12-04T12:22:00.000+04:00

been feelin like shit fer e past 2days.. like there's too much air in my tummy n it upsets e whole system... been havin joint pains, even in my fingers n it din help dat my head wuz throbbin as if i had a major hangover.... thing is, i din even have anythin to drink..!! but am gettin betta.. hopefully... well, i noe i haven't updated in ages.. no reason in particular.. but rite now, i can't upload any pics coz i practically ran out of disc space.. n i haven't gotten e opportunity to get myself dat external hard drive... sigh....... so much things!!!!! gonna haf a nice, hot bath now.. n den pop some panadol extra... seeya guys...

BIIIIG...

2007-11-05T13:36:00.000+04:00

hello.. hello... yep, i'm still alive in case anyone's wonderin... still kickin too.. in sinz now.. at home sweet home.. til e 9th nite... my last leave til 2008.. actually s'pose to haf it in dec but realised i've got 35days of reserve in DEC; so i changed it.. after all i dun tink i'll be dat lucky to get 5days off durin reserve.. so yeah... dun even noe if i'm comin back before e next yr.. sigh~~

neways, it's no longer 10.10.10... movin it forward to 07.08.09.. insya'allah...
n no, i'm not ramblin... talkin abt settin THE DATE.. =P

his parents came over e other day.. n this time i had no means of escapin.. previously, i wuz neva ard.. n last 2 wks no one wuz at home coz evryone wuz in dubz... so this time, ran out of excuses.. hahahaha!!! but it went ok.. as in, i wuz kinda out of place; coz traditionally, i tink e girl's s'posed to be in her rm, out of sight while e elders decide her fate.. but hey, it' MY life.. MY future.. MY weddin... =P (get e whole picture now??) told u i wasn't rambling...

i've oredi decided on some stuff, so it's juz a matter of time.. location, hair, gown, bouquets, & most importantly... groom; all planned.. but yeah, no plans of jinx-ing e whole thing so i shall stop... there will be more updates here n there but as i said.. i'm not plannin on jinx-ing anythin...

®wish me luck, y'all... =)
*exciteeeeed*

migration..

2007-10-20T11:23:00.000+04:00

am still very much sick... n still very much wantin to be back in sinz... sigh.....
neways, carted e whole family here in dubz, n by whole family, i'm talkin abt parents plus 2 bros... so, pardon me fer any MIA cases or simple neglect...
tinkin of my kitty.. sent her to e pet hotel thingy.. which claims to be 5-star.. muahahahah!!! can believe there's such things.. neways, yeah, my poor kitty's NEVA been out of e house.. furthest wld haf to be at e void-deck, when i bring her to collect e mail.. reason bein, she's pretty fierce n will scratch at will... n contradictingly, she's quite a scaredy-cat as well.. as in she gets nervous ard strangers.. as i always tell my mum, e cat juz like to action fierce but is really a wuss.. hee.... klah, juz a quickie fer today..
my head's spinnin fm dis flu thingy n my KL flgt's still unswapped.. looks like anotha sick day on e record fer me then... but no choice really, i mean, my dad's leavin on e 23rd n it's not possible fer me to be in KL n lettin him handle all dat staff counter drama... bein his first time here n all... sigh~~... ah well, kinda had enuf wit dis job anyways..

®anyone wit any suggestions on e job-front?? gotta n gonna start lookin real soon... so any help is much appreciated... =)

'holy' crap...

2007-10-07T23:05:00.000+04:00

i noe, i noe.. e title's kinda blasphemous.. but juz read...

flyin 4 turnarounds back to back is definitely not gd fer you... especially wit a freakin dhaka n jeddah... reasons bein it's almost 5hrs just to get to dhaka n not to mention e boardin process n transit time; i'd probly reach perth by e time we finish e whole flgt... n as fer jeddah, it's a short flgt but it doesn't help when e departure time is a mere 5 mins after iftar (breakin of fast)!!! so securin e cabin wuz a near impossible task namely becoz evryone's busy tuckin in n expectin us to serve em drinks n wat-haf-yous... i mean, c'mon, if u noe u're gonna be breakin yr fast in e aircraft so soon to take-off, get yrself take-aways fm e terminal... it'd most certainly prevent anyone fm faintin of hunger n starvation fm one day of fastin... honestly, gimme a break.. juz becoz i'm werkin, doesn't mean i'm not fastin too... i'm not an arab.. i dun use fastin as an excuse to cut office hrs short, n i certainly dun use it as an excuse not to go to werk... my parents brought me up better than that...n not to mention a particular idiot who totally made my face heat up... n dis happened in e midst of e hot towel service out of jeddah...no prizes fer guessin wat nationality he is.. no, not arab.. e other one...

idiot: 'can you bring e child meal fer my son... he's hungry..' me: 'certainly sir, but only after take off..' idiot: 'yes, yes.. juz bring it after..' me: 'juz checkin sir, did u order a child meal?' idiot: 'i juz want a meal fer my son...' at dis point, he wuz bein a bit rude.. me: 'i understand, but if he's got a child meal ordered, i'll bring it to you.. otherwise, i'll get e normal trays..' idiot: 'i dun care wat tray itis, i wan e meal..' totally bein rude here.. me: 'sir, right after take off...' me bein curt, since he gave me dat attitude.. idiot: 'do u understand wat i'm sayin?? I WAN MY CHILD'S MEAL...' passengers in e front row starts turnin ard to see e commotion.... dat's when i lost it n cld so totally feel my face burnin.... so, i lowered myself to floor level, looked him in e eyes and..... me: ' i understand u perfectly well sir, but do U understand me? i said after take off.. not now!' wit dat, i walked off..

can't believe e level of patience some ppl haf... or rather, e lack of it... c'mon, u juz got back fm pilgrimage to e holy land n u're actin like a piece of crap?? seriously..!! i'd expected more of ppl who'd been lucky n blessed enuf to even perform e act of pilgrimage.. but him, actin e way he did... totally uncalled fer... n i wasn't even bein rude or anythin, in fact, i wuz doin him a favour in gettin e kid's meal; if he had one; coz we only haf wat we're catered fer... dat's part of e service... we can't haf delivery while we're 30,000ft up in e air!! wat we haf, u get... n we all noe how precious dat lil son of his is, n dat's y he'd rather feed e kid aircraft food than wat u can find on ground... seriously!!!! i mean, i dun even tink i deserved dat kinda treatment... wat? juz becoz u've done e pilgrimage, u're mightier than e rest of us mere mortals??

i'm sorry, i noe i'm not all dat pious n all (tho there were times when i wuz breakin fast alone here n i started tinkin of e unfortunates n really thank god i am wat i am.. let's juz save dat fer anotha time...) but i told myself not to judge ppl n to haf a higher level of tolerance to those ignorant ones... but dat flgt, includin dat guy, totally tested my patience n made me lose it... not dat i lost it in such a dramatic way, but i thot in dis mth of ramadhan, i'd be a better person n all, to transcend above all these vices.. i guess evryone's got a limit...

point of dis entry wuz to make it known dat turnarounds after turnarounds totally screws you up.. i dun noe e date nor e day(which has always been e case) n i've been sleepin at very weird hrs.. doesn't help when i keep wakin up evry hr or so... sheeesh...

so, juz came back fm chainani's (my tailor) n realised i always tend to pick a particular shade of gold fer my baju... last 2yr's wuz a similar shade to dis yr's... it's probly e same even!!! n i only noticed when i wuz checkin out e one i made fer baby.. hahahaha... yep, i'm turnin into e typical malay girl who colour co-ordinates wit my other half... DUN LAUGH!!!! not even a snicker or a giggle... hmph!!!

all i noe is, i'm soooo settled on wat e colour of my weddin gown wld be... ;)

®damnit.. went to e website of e bridal boutique dat's got e gown i luv n dey're not featurin e one dat i want!!! probly sold it or sthg... sigh.... it's okie.. at least i've got e page off e magazine... muahahahaha!!!! wat??! a girl can dream rite???

milestone...

2007-09-29T19:03:00.000+04:00

it's been a yr already???? my, my....

breedin time!!!!

2007-09-29T16:20:00.000+04:00

isit juz me or isit e breedin season? perhaps a 2nd baby boom?? well, it seems like babies are poppin outta evryone lately...
juz on dis flgt alone, e first officer, james, was soooo blardy unbelievably lucky to be a new dad on dis very day.. he's fm cambridge, a few hr's train ride fm birmingham i tink, n he juz happened to be there dis mornin when his wifey gave birth to a baby girl!!!! i mean, how lucky is dat?! he wus there in person when she went into labour.. he wuz there to welcome e baby into e world!! can't imagine a layover more memorable.. probly his wifey shot out e baby juz coz he wuz ard.. hahahah.... but, yeah, wat a trip fer him..
n den, e purser, shabir, is goin fer a mth's vacation in preparation fer his wifey's due date at e end of october.. they're expectin a lil boy n he's all excited abt it..
n of coz, there's shamim n lin-lin in e line as well... juz to name a few... i mean, jihan's oredi popped out her baby girlie, so we're talkin abt those still on e way...
gosh..... must really be breedin season..
one thing's fer sure, i fell in luv wit dis...

saw it in e mall in birmy n wuz soooo close to buyin it... heh... juz coz it's so cute, n pinky... but e price tag simply screamed 'luxurious', to put it nicely... i cld possibly get like a mth's supply of gummies fer e price of one.. but; dat's not gonna stop me fm tinkin abt it... hmmm, probly fer my future own lil 'un...
geez... wat kinda values am i gonna instill in e kiddies??! but honestly!! one'd go crazy lookin at all e cute lil mini stuff these designers've come up wit.. fm gummies, to bibs, to nappy bags... sheesh!!! me n yuri went berserkers in e shop.. hahahaha!!! n james wuz so sweet; when we told him to get e gummy ger his lil girl, he said, 'i'd rather get dior fer my wifey.. tink she deserves it more... '
~sigh~
if only all men were liddat.... as dey say, e gd ones are all taken, gay or dead... so true.....

®i wanna be a hot momma!!!!!! a yummy-mummy!!! juz tink my biological clock's tickin... kwahkwahkwah!!!!!!!! no shit....

my evry thot is you.. serious..!

2007-09-27T00:10:00.000+04:00

Artist: Kelly Rowland
Album: Ms. Kelly
Year: 2007
Title: Addicted (Every Thought Is You)

[Verse:]
I love it how we're chilling over conversation
I'm dealing with this feeling of infatuation
Pacing, don't wanna force the situation
Waiting for you to make a move, no hesitation
I'm thinking maybe this could turn into something more
I'm feeling you boy you got me open for sure
I'm hoping that the feelings are mutual
Trying to hold off coz I want you to know

[Chorus:]
I'm addicted to you
When I see you
Wanna be with you
Everything you do
All I dream of
When I wake up
My every thought is you
I'm addicted to you
When I see you
Wanna be with you
Everything you do
I can't fight it
Coz I like it
My every thought is you

[Verse 2:]
Now it's been a year and we're still together
Never getting old its only getting better
Treasure the love we share between us its a pleasure
If we have our differences we'll make it work whatever
Coz of you I'll never feel alone
Coz of you my house is now a home again
You're my inner peace fill my mind at ease
You're everything I want my man to be

[Chorus:]
I'm addicted to you
When I see you
Wanna be with you
Everything you do
All I dream of
When I wake up
My every thought is you
I'm addicted to you
When I see you
Wanna be with you
Everything you do
I can't fight it
Coz I like it
My every thought is you

[Hook:]
My every thought is you
I'm thinking about you
My every thought is you
(My every thought is you)
My every thought is you
I'm thinking about you
My every thought is
My every thought is you

[Chorus:X2]
I'm addicted to you
When I see you
Wanna be with you
Everything you do
All I dream of
When I wake up
My every thought is you
I'm addicted to you
When I see you
Wanna be with you
Everything you do
I can't fight it
Coz I like it
My every thought is you

[Hook:]
My every thought is you
I'm thinking about you
My every thought is you
(My every thought is you)
My every thought is you
I'm thinking about you
My every thought is
My every thought is you...

®simply lurve e 2nd verse!!!

happy advanced 1yr baby!!!

2007-09-26T22:50:00.002+04:00

okie ppl, before u proceed, juz to let you noe dis entry goes out to dat someone special in my life........ since i can't be back to celebrate, here's an advance ode to my life.. n by dat, i mean you; baby...

you dun choose who you like,
you either do or u don't..
you dun choose who you luv,
u either will or u won't..
ups & downs,
grins & frowns..
whereva i am,
whereva i may go,
it juz sucks,
to miss you so..
all i'm askin for,
is more of you,
more of us..
i need some passion,
and maybe more of dat lust..
no matter e distance,
wateva e time,
i promise you..
lesser anger,
n lesser tantrums,
no more bitch-fits,
n no more squabbles..
i promise you too..
all e trust,
all e love,
all e hugs,
n all e kisses,
all e bites,
n all e pinches,
most of all,
i promise you..
my word's for real,
n my actions says it all..
there's no else,
who's more perfect..
fer me, at least..
so baby;
all i can promise,
is us in e future,
wit all of me,
only fer you..

®simple n sweet.. juz like me.. rite???
baby.. i'm sorry i can't be back to be wit u.. especially on sucha significant day fer us.. it's a milestone considerin e dramas we've gone thru.. but trust me, there's no where else i'd rather be than in your arms.. juz dat sometimes things juz dun go e way we'd want em to be.. e past yr has been sucha great one, simply becoz u came into my life.. can't imagine anyone else in yr place, 'cept maybe paul walker.. =P seriously, i haf neva been so certain abt anyone more than i am abt u.. a year mite be short, but i tink time doesn't play a factor in regards to e deep feelings n affection we haf fer one anotha.. i am more sure abt you than anything else in my life rite now n it somehow feels like i've known u all my life.. i'm so lucky to haf crossed path wit u n even luckier to haf u luvin me despite all e flaws u can so obviously see.. as dey say, things happen fer a reason n i'm truly blessed dat dey did... i adore u wit all my heart.. n my heart is all warm n gooey wit all e gladness i haf juz by tinkin abt us.. sure, we squabble a lot but dat doesn't mean i'm gonna wave e white flag anytime soon.. heck! it's only gonna make me want to werk harder fer us.. we mite haf all e differences in e world but rest assured i feel e same way fer you as you do fer me.. i luv u wit all my heart like i've neva luved anyone before.. n i doubt i eva will.. i've given u my word n my heart so pls baby; hang in there... fer us....

new moon..

2007-09-26T11:47:00.000+04:00

met up wit min e other day in seoul... n it happened to be e long holiday weekend fer their 'thanksgiving'.. i.e.new moon festival... aka mooncake festival-fer e chinese... (it's juz dat dey dun wanna haf anythin to associate wit e chinese so dey choose to call it 'thanksgiving'...)
their cooool carpark
bbq-ed me??
chef fer e day...
under my umbrellaaaaa...

she's given up her wings fer good n is now back home.. jealous.. jealous..... neways, tank god i came on dat day coz if i had reached earlier, she'd still be in bangkok, holidayin wit her mum.. well, she came over to e hotel to haf dinner n den she left to meet her frenz.. din join em coz dey were juz gonna hang out n talk cock til late.. n by hangin out, e korean definition is to haf drinks n eat til u get tired.. not in a club or anythin, it's juz their lifestyle.. so i went back to e hotel since it's fastin mth n i'm stayin off alcohol anyways...

woke up e next day n took e train to meet her at her station n den further on to city hall... gosh, i dunno e korean language n e fact dat evryone wuz starin at me totally made me feel at home... NOT!! i felt like an alien wit a big, red, sore thumb fer a head.. even e cap i wuz wearin din help much.. perhaps, i wuz simply too hot... teeheeee..... but i managed to find her at e track she wuz on.. n we went explorin ard e area called 'dongnam' or sthg liddat... it means 'bell street' coz there's a historical bell located in a temple sorta building... had lunch n walked some more... only had a pair of heels in my luggage n din expect to walk dat much, so in e end, i had a freakin painful blister on my lil pinky toe on my left foot.. (limped fer like half e flgt n all e way back home...!!! pic rite at e end of dis post.. =P)

n den, there's dis guy on e street, standin wit a sign dat says 'free hugs'.. n so many ppl actually went up to him, includin yours truly.. hahahaha!!! but min's sucha lousy photographer, u can't even see my face.. *rolls eyes*.. hahaha!!! luv u lah, minyoung..... wuz considerin doin dat on evry layover.. muahahahahaha!!!!! but den, i mite get more than i bargained fer...

some random pics...
e stream dat e japs tried to destroy..
some cute korean kiddies
traditional sweets in e making...
it's all PINK!!!! i loike!!!!
real policemen in e historical parade...
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n as promised, e nasty blister......

read between e lines..

2007-09-20T14:19:00.000+04:00

still renovatin my blog.. so pls bear wit me.. neways, had an interestin epiphany durin e paris flgt i juz had...
it seems dat things really do happen fer a reason.. n it made me so so so glad dat some things happen n some juz don't...
let's juz say dat on dis flgt, it made me all e more grateful dat i've found someone i really adore n luv.. n someone i can see bein wit in e future.. had things gone differently back then, i wldn't be in dis happy state dat i am.. havin said dat, it does swing to e extremes when e person i so adore n luv get into any squabbles wit me... but den again, dat's all part n parcel of bein in a rlsp isn't it? thru e highs n lows... n all dat jazz...

®juz can't wait fer dis yr to be over... n juz to update those who mite be interested, i'm slowly clearin out stuff dat i dun need over here.. fer offloadin back to sinz or simply to e chute.. but i hafta get myself new wardrobe back hm in sinz tho... aiyah... soooo much trouble, so little time...

highlanders..

2007-09-02T17:47:00.000+04:00

yep, i cooked again... dis time fer lin, rashid, nani, me n niza... heheheh... n yep, it turned out gd... not a disaster at all.. but of coz niza wuz a big help lah.. she's e chicken expert after all.. =P
finally changed my bedsheets today... i tink i'm those kinda ppl who clean up e house when they're sad/angry... hahahhaha...
stuck at home now til my next flgt.. tried to swap to get flgts but stupid legalities always seem to reject me... i've got like sooo many 'rejects' stamped on my forehead!! hahahaha....

well, came back fm glasgow like 2days ago... had sucha great time.. afterall, i din expect to even go out n do sthg of substance.. unless u consider shoppin... so, 7 of us met up rite after checkin in to head out to edinburgh... since i've neva been there n since e crew were all so gerek, i joined despite e headache slowly creepin up my skull... however, since i'd only planned to go shoppin, i din bring goin-out-out shoes.. i had my heeled-boots!! n i had to go up n down e slopes of e highlands... even adrian wuz impressed dat i managed... hahahaha... yeah, i cld barely move my toes by e time i reached back home!!!

my latest travel partner..

so yeah, we took e train there which took like 45mins n started up e hills to e edinburgh castle... n when we reached, e guard wuz sayin dey were closin in 45mins as well n we'd still hafta pay e 11pounds to go in.. n e recommended time taken to explore e place wuz at least 2hrs... so, since we'd be pretty much short-changed, we decided to pass... n down e slopes we went.....
one thing i realised, shoe shops are a real rarity in e highlands!!! my feet wuz killin me yet there wuz no single shoe shop in sight!!!!

newayz, went to haf dinner.. n i had e yummy swordfish steak... it wuz pretty gd but i thot e cajun spices wuz kinda too strong.. managed to find a shoe shop n jae accompanied me to get a pair.. had to settle fer a pair of gola which i felt wuz over-priced... but desperate measures....
n tank god i bought those sneakers coz we went fer e trail of mary king's close thereafter.... it's an underground city built back in e 15th century.. n it's rite under e current scotland's chamber of commerce's building... too bad photography wasn't allowed but it wuz definitely an experience n a great insight into e history... tanx to our guide.. coz i tink he made a whole lot of difference wit his enthusiasm... there wuz like different levels in e city n it's more of less like e different levels of a basement... juz dat these were real cities n ppl lived in em back in e days... n of coz, e poorer u are, e lower yr level is...
den we went into particular rm, which wuz propped wit metal poles to keep e ceiling fm cavin in n all e time i wuz prayin we'd get out alive... i mean, no one wld noe where i wuz if we were to get buried in e rubble!!! *shudders*....
n it wuz kinda too late to back out since we were already in there...
well, e whole place wuz dank n still.. n not to mention dark.. since no sunlight actually reaches e place... oh, n we oso went into anotha rm, which wuz s'posedly haunted by e spirit of a lil girl... apparently, a psychic went to explore e place n evrythin wuz ok 'cept fer dat particular rm... but e lil girl wasn't dangerous or anythin, juz a sad n lost soul, who'd been left there to die by her mother, durin e black plague...n she wuz lookin fer her doll which she'd lost... e psychic wuz so overcame wit e sadness that she went out n immediately went to get her a toy.. so now, e rm is full of offerings in e form of toys..
so yeah, basically, e city wuz quarantined off due to e black plague n loads of ppl died due to e disease..
sad...

i wuz glad i had e chance to walk down in a page of history...

den, e guys wanted to go fer e haunted trail; which i tink i'd seen on tv before... i really wanted to but considerin my legs were so close to bucklin n my ankles were almost broken n not to mention i wuz freezin my ass off, i decided to forego it.. after all, i'd told jae dat i'd leave wit her n i''ll feel bad if i didn't... =(
so 3of us left, only cristal, adrian, karina n sparky went ahead... ah well, there's always anotha time... =( hopefully... i mean, e last time i did dat flgt wuz like 2yrs ago.. n it's sucha hectic one at dat!!! sigh~....

all in all, it wuz a great trip... great crew totally makes a whole lot of difference.... =)

®min's sleepin over tonite.. dat's y i had to juz breeze thru dis entry.. but it's pretty much summarised oredi lah.. newayz, yeah, min's leavin in like 2days... sigh~...... i am truly sad...

bored...

2007-08-22T15:11:00.001+04:00

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.
Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.
You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.
Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.
For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What's Your Love Style?

You Are 60% Pure

Well, you're not exactly an angel - but you're pretty darn close.
But chances are, you have a couple juicy secrets deep in your closet.

How Pure Are You?

Your Inner Eye Color Is Green

You're off-scale unique and creative - just like green eyes
You're peaceful, relaxed, and easy to be around
You've got an exotic flair that draws men in... with unique beauty.

What Color Eyed Woman Are You Really?

swing it..

2007-08-21T01:45:00.000+04:00

i'm in a bit traumatised now... flgt wuz gd.. to n fro.. but when we were landin into dubz, nedal, e purser, who's obviously fabulously gay; told straight to my face dat i'm a lesbian!!! n it's juz dat i dunno it yet.. or dat i'm juz suppressin it real well.. wtf?!? i mean, he said it in sucha matter-of-fact, no-nonsense kinda manner dat i wuz lost fer words!! n i wuz like, 'how e hell do u pass off someone as a lesbo??? i mean, i'm stayin wit one n i wld neva haf guessed.. din even haf an inkling until she confessed...'
n he simply said 'i can tell, honey.. i juz can....'
*gasp*
i'm simply mortified!! n it's not like i haf anythin against homosexuality.. well, mostly i dun.. coz i cldn't care less.. but i dun necessarily condone it.. it juz crosses e line when dey try to impose their skool of thots on me.. i juz tink it's against e law of nature.. n i'm sorry, but i luv men.. i can't get enuf of my bf fer cryin out loud.. it's been almost a wk since he left n i'm still havin withdrawal symptoms... n it's not like i'm attracted to his feminity.. e only shred of femininity in him is his luv fer e colour pink.. hahahah!!! not dat i haf a problem wit dat... havin said dat, no, i'm not into butches... dat's juz confusin.. i mean, if i were to eva swing dat way, i'd rather get it on wit a hot girlie-girl.. not a girl who tries so hard to be a guy coz i'd rather be wit a genuine guy in dat case.. sheeeeeesh....
tanx nedal fer screwin my mind!!!!

i'm too in luv wit myself anyways....

speakin of lesbos... apparently a particular person ran into sylvia (not lesbo!!); n made up some stories abt how me n her r so close n we hate e other flatmate of ours... wtf?!?!?! seriously!!? is she in her own world or is dis a dirty tactic to play us up against each other?!? she's really positively weird i tell u... totally reminds me of e other occassion when she claimed to be close frenz wit mermaid, my fren, when she only met her once!!! n not to mention e stories she told mazen... doesn't dat juz scream psycho?!? great combo i must say... psycho-lesbo...
glad me n niza signed dat form to move out.. these kinda ppl are not gd fer yr health.. n safety...

®wonderin wat kinda sub-concious vibes i'm sendin out to e world... once again, i DUN haf anythin against gays.. i dun quite care.. juz dat when dey cross e line, it's kinda hard fer anyone to be chummies.... n yes, i WILL use it against u... u freak...

burstdays...

2007-08-18T12:45:00.000+04:00

juz had a historic moment in my life like an hour ago... came back fm lahore n we were all at e customs, waitin to go thru, when e flight deck crew shouted.. 'guys, it's here!!'.... so we all were like lil kiddies, ran to get a view.. n i managed to catch e A380 in action.. landing no less... it wuz quite unexpected to actually see it live.. i mean, it din even haf e EK emblem on it.. (tho i've seen one durin e dubz airshow.. proud in EK colours..) it wuz still e airbus380 signage.. pardon me fer bein ovely-enthused over such a thing but honestly, it wuz quite a rush.. n to haf us all frequent flyers (so to speak) gazing in collective awe.. dat wuz sthg...
well, dey're havin these daily fly-around dubz fer 3 days i tink, startin fm yday.. it's an hr cruise onboard e 380, wit e big shots n who's-who of e company.. n our flgt wuz actually s'posed to be grounded 40mins more in lahore coz dey were s'posed to close e runway fer like 30mins.. apparently due to maintenance but i tink it's more of an inspection to see e damage e big momma mite cause upon impact.. kwahkwah... dat thing is seriously massive, n i fer one, am not lookin forward werkin onboard sucha hulk of a tin can... n i had all these imaginations of sthg actually goin wrong wit those test flgts, wit all those key-players fm e company onboard.. i mean, wat wld happen next?? a sudden demand of CEOs n managers perhaps??? maybe i'd sign up.... heee.... ok... i'm sadistic... but hey, i only had 2hrs of sleep in like more than 24hrs... so yeah, it's safe to say i'm not exactly awake rite now...

on anotha note altogetha.... juz wanted to give a biiiiiig shout-out to 3 who's-who in my life... it's my momma's n hao's bifday!!!! all these while, i've always thot my mum's bifday's like 19th aug but apparently it's today!! 18th aug!! in conjunction wit hao's!!!! i've always known i'm not e best daughter ard; but to actually mistake e person who gave me life's bifday?!? holy crap?! i AM officially e worst daughter in e whole of this universe!!!!!! been tinkin abt it n e more i tink, e worse i feel.. geeez...
wat an ungrateful cad i am...

but seriously, i shall put all dat disgraceful pieces of information aside to highlight on e importance of these 3 ppl...

of coz;... my mum... how much more important can dat get??
no mum=no me...

see e resemblance?? rrrrrite...

it's amazing how distance actually brought us closer.. back then, we cldn't even hold a decent conversation much more joke ard... it's like we're so much tolerant of one anotha n i can't even rememba e last time we had an argument.. i realised how much she means to me n how much i appreciate her.. like me, she may not be perfect but she's done a great job wit us 3 siblings under her wings.. (aka ketiak/armpits).. always worryin incessantly abt us n dad.. she's selfless n almost saint-like.. well, in my eyes, at least.. coz i tink she's trancended fm dat nagging-machine who's juz out to make our lives a living hell... witout her direct control on my life, i dun tink i'd turn out this way... wit e kinda influences all ard, i'd tank god fer her making me a late bloomer... n altho we can communicate betta, dat doesn't mean we're besties n all... (tho there wuz once she accompanied me to orchard fer a quick shopping.. she kinda invited herself but i took it as she wantin to spend more time wit me...) n not to mention dat time when she surprised me wit a spaghetti-strap tank which i so noe is too little clothe by her standards... she wuz like 'oh, i saw it on e mannequin n i noe u'd like e bling-blings on it...' she'd evry so often shower me wit lil gifts she tinks i need/like.. n dat includes some garish hair accessories as well as disastrous attires.. n i feel so touched.. n i juz can't bring myself to tell her dat i wun eva use any of em in my life.. juz can't bear to see her hurt.. n dat's y i hate a certain person to dis very day fer makin her cry.. (u bastard.. may u rot in hell... no no.. may u get eaten alive by maggots n den u eat e maggots in order to stay alive.. u worthless piece of scum eatin bacteria)
hmm, she's my mum n i luv her.. she's flesh n blood.. 'nuff said..

n den there's hao... my bestest pal.. who happens to live like 2 streets away.. n even my mum/family noes him n tells me when she occassionally run into him/his family members.. my partner-in-crime fer bein late.. we're neva on time but i tink hao's e master ah... even meetin me halfway at e kopitiam near our house oso can be late... sheesh...
he's e queen bitch amongst our frenz n i luv him fer dat.. at least i can keep my sanity by bein mean n not bein nice always.. i really miss our 'exchanges'..
me: 'u tramp...'
hao: 'u slut..'
me: 'u harlot..'
hao:'u whore..'
me:'u bitch....!'
hao:'tank yew very much...'

he brings out e 'best' of me...

hahahahahahaha!!! not exactly in dat manner but yeah, somewhere along dat line... he's one helluva stong guy.. oklah, maybe those strong inside kind... =P
he's been thru more than anyone else i noe yet he still manages to be him... we've known each other fer like wat? 9yrs now?? almost a decade.. can u believe dat?? still a long way to go to beat my record wit tina.. but we're gettin there.. he noes more abt e intricate things in my life coz somehow i feel safe sharin wit him my innermost thots.. n there's no need to keep up wit appearances around him coz he's seen e ugliest of me (literally, back in skool, those days before i 'bloomed'.. =P)
we've made so many other frenz, not in e same circle, yet we still fall back onto each other.. n dat's e beauty of dis frenship.. despite bein apart, e moment we 'reunite', it's all gd.. evrythin juz falls in its place n we can juz be ourselves.. juz hang loose n be as heartlanders as possible.. hehehehe...
oh, n not to mention, he whips up mean muffins n cakes... e last creation being his apple tart.. yummmmy....
i'm sure he's a saint in e eyes of his family members coz dat's exactly how i'd feel...

ok... i said i'll mention 3 ppl in my life n by dis stage of dis long post, u must be wonderin who's e third.. well, last but certainly not least, it's my gunglue!!! jasminah rashid... muahahahahah.... i 'christened' u now..
first of all, my apologies fer bein so bloody belated.. a grand total of 6days no less!!! wanted to make it a week but i got werk tmr.. so yeah.... LOL!!!!!

anotha classic sentosa moment...

dearest gunglue, u're a brilliant ball of energy that neva, i repeat, neva fail to cheer me up... we can juz be ditzy n kootchsy n kiddy n not even give a care in e world wat others tink... okie, maybe not in e presence of others lah.. but leave us be n we'd come up wit stupid antics dat always results wit me havin sore cheeks.. due to laughin too much.. (flashback on sentosa) n i noe u haf a soft spot fer me, coz u'd neva throw any tantrums on me... hahahah!!! but hey, u noe i haf a soft spot fer u too rite? u can neva do any wrong.. to me; at least.. n juz like wit hao, u're real.. n i can be real wit u as well.. no need to haf any guards abt anythin coz afterall, u haf a spot fer me, rememba?? n i noe, no matter how childish i'd act, u'd still smile n grin instead of frownin n givin a disgusted look... unlike some ppl... we are after all, young only once..
but all dat doesn't mean u can dismiss jas as juz anotha kooky character... she's got depth.. depth dat u'd see only if u spend time wit her n see thru all of her mischief.. n dat's why i luv dis girl.. she doesn't waste precious seconds dwellin on negative things.. she's always ready to go n full of animated gestures.. an entertainment on its own.. hahahahahaha... i strongly believe evryone out there shld haf a gunglue of their own!!! =)

i luv each n evry one of these guys fer bein juz them.. each special, each unique... n each touched my life in their own different ways.. so. if u mess wit em.. u die!! dey are leos after all.. plus; u'd haf e bull to handle as well...

®not necessarily e way i wanna express myself in words.. but it's almost there.. n rite now, my world is startin to sway.. e effects of too lil sleep.... n of coz, withdrawal symptoms... hehehe..

18days..

2007-08-17T19:32:00.000+04:00

okie.... it's been a grand total of 18days since i last flew... n i'm soooooo not lookin forward to e flgt later tonite... geeezz.........

® been all alone at home... where haf all e ppl gone?? tink i'm kinda losin it... hahahahahaha

feelin it?

2007-08-14T21:50:00.000+04:00

®wonderin if u can actually relate to dis, baby...

All my bags are packed
Im ready to go
Im standin here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin
Its early morn
The taxis waitin
Hes blowin his horn
Already Im so lonesome
I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Theres so many times Ive let you down
So many times Ive played around
I tell you now, they dont mean a thing
Evry place I go, Ill think of you
Evry song I sing, Ill sing for you
When I come back, Ill bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
Then close your eyes
Ill be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I wont have to leave alone
About the times, I wont have to say

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

But, Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Words and music by john denver

i'm wit u...

2007-08-14T20:53:00.000+04:00

wuz it juz a dream...?
all e anticipation fizzled to bittersweet dread..
cldn't stop e day turnin into nights..
had no power against e dates flyin pass..
it's all in my head.. n it hurts so bad..
knowin dat it's back to bein alone..
all by myself,
lonesome in dis barren land...
no more silly arguments..
no more bickerings..
no more volkswagen-beetle pinchings..
no more bitings; playful or not..
no more wrestlin-style sparrin..
no more late-night movies..
no more pigging-out like, erm; pigs...
no more 'juz-hangin-out's...
no more cook-outs...
no more gettin frustrated/naggin abt e mess..
no more nookies...
no more camel-breath...
no more gettin annoyed/irritated by your 'charm'..
no more juz bein us...
no more........
10days came n went juz like dat..
n no one noes when i can lay my eyes on your hazel-browns again..
stickin wit u is exactly wat i'm gonna do..
coz it's all so natural when we're togetha..
trust me..
u haf my word on dat..
n i'm holdin u to yours..
so, pls baby..
come back soon........

®
“Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad cuz I miss you; I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss.”

addicted to pain?

2007-08-02T15:57:00.000+04:00

so... i've been a gd girl n went fer all 5 sessions i had wit dr.shurong... kinda felt a bit sad i had no more sessions tho.. hee..... hope to hang out wit e gd doc again... it wuz so nice juz to share things n she even showed me her makeover pics n her interviews wit e chinese channel.. phoenix i tink... all's goin sooo gd fer her.. wit her apartment n her HUMMER!!!!! when she casually mentioned she drives a hummer, i wuz like waaaaaaaahhhhh.....!!!!
muahahahahah....
yep, we can soooooo be nbf... hehehehe...
but seriously, acupunture works... so dun be afraid to try! =)

on anotha note altogetha, i lost my wisdom... hahahahaha!!! wat wisdom?? nah, i went to get my wisdom tooth removed... e plan wuz to remove e left one which is buggin me since it's juz growin out of e gums.. instead, e one on e right got pulled out n i din even get a medical letta fer it... me bein e wuss juz left witout a fuss n went to drop by at suz's... n by 'drop by', it wuz more of like 'surprise!! i'm at yr doorstep!!' =P
she wuz studyin fer her upgrade... wld sure luv to pop by fer her graduation..
newayz, she made a call to e dentist coz we figured he liked her more than me n talked him into givin e letta.. coz accordin to him, he cld fax it over to e person in charge but we wanted to haf a copy fer our own reference... so yeah, got e letta n she had to sit down while he explained to her e differences in e procedure fer hers n mine... sorry babes!! hee....
well, dun forget me once u move k? n congrats are in order fer december, i s'pose?? heee....... *grinz*

®i seriously need to make new frenz... evryone's leavin or is oredi gone... sigh...... i can sense a depression comin on....

power to e ppl!!

2007-07-25T21:47:00.001+04:00

oh wow!!! al gore on oprah!!!!! oh wow!!!!!!
now dat makes gd tv!!!

poke me!!

2007-07-25T21:29:00.000+04:00

tried sthg new today.. went to get some needles poked in my shoulders... hahahah... went fer acupunture... first time in my life n i haf 4 more sessions to go.. fer a simple case of sprained neck/shoulder.. but hey, i'm not payin fer it, so why not?? =P
wasn't painful as i imagined it to be.. had like 7 pins on/in me n it wuz like lil ants bites.. no biggies.. but e massage e doctor gave prior to e needles wuz gob-smackin/drool-inducin/pants-wettin nice!!!!! she really knew where e knots were n it wuz a happy kinda pain.. hehehehe...
accordin to her, e needles are positioned at points to release endorphins.. e au natural marijuana so-to-speak.. hmmm, is dat y i'm feelin so much lifted?
so yeah, din noe bein an acupuncturist earns u big buckaroos.. coz e doc wuz sayin she's gotta collect her keys to her apartment on e palm tmr so she'll give me a call to confirm my appointment.. e palm?!! can u believe it?? maybe i shld go into e acupuncture biznez too? damnnnn....
n den while walkin n lookin fer a cab to go back, me n niza found a breadtalk in e middle of nowhere.. literally! in dubz?? in healthcare city?? e shop wuz huge but rather barren.. dunno if it's like dat normally or whether it wuz too late in e day, or rather, nite so all e pastries were gone..
so yep.. dat's abt it fer today..

® tanx niza, fer e company!!
now i'm kinda worried abt my flgts.. totally screwed up evrythin.. n i really haf no clue wat can be done.. damnit.. tryin so hard not to tink too much abt it but it's beginnin to really stress me out... aaargh!!! i need more needles!!!!
baby, i'm sorry...

i din ask fer it..

2007-07-23T22:29:00.000+04:00

it's all abt u...
juz u..
heck; e world revolves ard u..
doesn't it?

®interestin revelation i juz made.. no one is eva perfect... not dat i din noe dat before.. but i kinda had higher expectations of certain ppl.. guess it juz doesn't pay to ASS.U.ME..

twisted..

2007-07-06T06:27:00.000+04:00

honestly... i can so kill someone rite now...
or at least trash things ard.. okie, not in my room coz it's oredi trashed as it is.. maybe a hotel room..? hmmm???
u juz can't wait, can you??? it's always now or neva.. yr way or e highway.. n when it's red, it's red.. no in betweens.. not maroon, not ruby... it's got to be bloody red!!!
i'm gonna cool myself down now n go get some rest.. bloody long nite, to maldives n back.. dun need dis rite now.. n choosing to do dat rather than to sit ard n dwell on e topic doesn't mean i dun care.. it means i can deal wit it later coz there's no point stressin myself out further.. i dun operate like u but dat doesn't mean i dun operate at all...
maybe i'm e one who needs medication... to burst dis bubble i haf ard me.. to make me worry juz dat bit more... n to stop tinkin dat things do werk out.. even in e strangest way possible.. life can be pretty twisted sometimes but i s'posed it always has to be straight lines fer u..
maybe i really am living in my own world..
maybe e glass is half empty...
n maybe life isn't a bed of roses...
but it certainly doesn't hurt to tink otherwise...
at least dat's how i feel......

®am i really dat hard to trust?? wat e hell am i s'posed to be hiding?! geez... i've neva given anyone a reason to doubt yet dat's all dat i seem to get.. it's like i always haf a motive behind evrythin i do.. lemme juz say dat i dun haf time n i certainly dun haf any energy to play games.. (unless it's wit ppl dat i haf agendas against).. thot i made it clear dat wat u see is wat u get...? i am fairly simple.. n i totally believe wat goes around comes around... so.. why e hell wld i do somethin unbecomin??! gosh... tink i really need some rest.. my head's spinnin n i'm blabberin way too much now..

layer cake..

2007-07-01T13:15:00.000+04:00

100

i'd only recently put up e counter thingy on dis blog coz i thot it wuz cute.. wit e cats n all.. n today, when i checked, it showed a hundred... to be exact..
i dun even noe who makes up these numbers coz i din advertise it to e whole world.. it's more of an outlet fer myself n more of a means to update frenz on e events in my life...
i mean, i'm fine wit others readin up my posts n i actually thank u guys fer takin yr time n fer takin interest.. however, one thing i'm certainly not fine wit is when ppl read my entries n dey assume dey noe it all.. dey tink dey noe me so much betta thru readin my blog but i hafta say, dis isn't e whole of me... e simple reason behind it?? becoz i dun even noe who reads up!!! n i haf to conscientiously take note not to offend anyone nor to reveal too much.. u wldn't wanna be feedin info to yr enemies now, wld u? especially when u haf ppl gd at manipulation all ard u... n my pet peeve?? is when ppl judge me.. dey judge me thru my posts... n dey use my posts against me... i hate dat! n it isn't a one-off thingy.. i rememba clearly when someone said he found my blog on frenster offensive.. since it wuz an entry directed to someone he wuz close wit...

all i can say is dat, i'm not here to get fans.. nor try to suck up to anyone.. i dun do dat in real life so why wld i do dat here??? IT'S NOT ME!!!!
in fact, i rave n rant n get all emo over here coz i thot it'll be a safer environment.. i dun even like confronting ppl so why can't i bitch abt it n lash it all online? n if no one pissed me off in e first place, there wldn't be any need fer dat..!! no one gets hurt...!! dis is my way of handling my frustrations.. so leave me be... e virtual me shld be able do at least do some of e stuff dat e real me won't.. like lettin my guards down by bein all sweet n proffessin my luv n affection to anyone who deserves it...
and if u dun like it, dun read. period.

i dun wax lyricals nor write conjured-up stories in dis blog.. it's my online-journal, if u will... it's an extension of me.. witout bein really me... no one is so simple.. evryone has layers.. so, next time anyone finds anythin not to their liking on dis blog, i'm sorry.. but why dun u try somewhere else?

® i tink e only similarities i haf btw me n dis blog is dat cartoon... hahahahah!!!

flaws and all

2007-06-25T15:00:00.000+04:00

Flaws And All

I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I'm a puzzle yes in deed
Ever complex in every way
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day.

I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you

I neglect you when I'm working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
and that's exactly what I need.

I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
and that's why I love you

®so true!!!
e 'i neglect you when i'm werkin..' part... dat one.. i neglect you when i'm sleepin too!!! ahahaha....!!
goes out to u baby....

to call or not to call?? sick, dat is...

2007-06-25T07:29:00.000+04:00

needa invest in more hand of fatimas.. bein ard e kind of ppl here.. found a pretty belly button chain online... but i thot dis pic is nice too.. very mambo....
newayz, i've got a freakin bangalore later tonite.. so feel like callin sick coz it's anotha one of those draggy turns.. n i'd be comin home when e sun's juz come up.. very bad timing coz by then, u're s'posed to sleep when other normal ppl are gettin up..
doesn't help dat e next mth's roster's rather sucky as well.. whole reason being i've got no sinz city n to kick off e new mth, i haf a dhaka turn followed by a male turn!!! wtf?!!?! those flgts are layovers on some days n here i am, havin to slog e whole freakin day, to n back.. it's as gd as doin a direct sydney or jfk!!!!! geez.... i'm only human...
so now i'm torn... call sick now? later?? but i've been sucha gd girl.. four mths since i last called sick.. dat's a personal record.. well, no, not really.. e record wuz 8mths.. when i wuz still wide-eyed n thot e world of e company.. hah!

n it's really amazin to see hundred over hrs on my roster coz back in economy, i'd be havin 90.. max... not to mention, pretty gd flgts, mostly those i'd requested fer.. ah well, juz movin along to anotha phase in life i s'pose...
so.. i haf to get up at 6 in e evenin n it's almost 8am.. shld i go back to sleep?? altho dat's wat i've been doin e whole nite.. or shld i stay awake fer a few hrs?? hmmph... oh! e conundrum!!!!!!

®still haven't settle e visa shit yet.. hate dat!!! i mean, when i wanna do sthg, i dun wan any bumps along e way.. otherwise, i wldn't haf bothered... n after decidin firmly my course of plan, dis mother-of-a-hump has to be in my way!! bloody hell!!!

facades..

2007-06-24T14:56:00.000+04:00

noe wat?
two can play e same game...
but i hope to do it wit my dignity n integrity intact..
not to stoop to yr low..
u act?
i will too..
dun tink all e smiles exchanged means i'm ignorant..
dun tink u can get away wit it all..
dun tink dat things dun come round..
juz becoz someone keeps quiet, dat doesn't mean dey're happy wit u..
or condones all yr acts..
u're sly..
n schemin..
n stupid..
fer tinkin others are..
juz becoz yr luv is...
as i said, i'm not like u n i wldn't wanna be..
i'm not sayin i'm all betta than u..
hey, i'm writin dis down now..
isn't dat juz as bad??
but how much can one take?
b4 dey reach e limit?
u noe i'm not e confrontational kind..
u noe i'm a wuss..
n of coz, u seized e opportunity to use it to yr benefit..
take advantage of yr own frenz..
it's e one thing u're gd at newayz..
u haf many doncha?
leave mine alone..
trust me, i dun hate you..
altho i do despise u at times..
it's more of i-wish-i-din-even-noe-you..
n i-wish-i-din-trust-you-so-much..
but i'd foreva rememba e gdness n kindness lavished upon me..
or wuz dat all part of e pre-conceived act??
well, lesson learnt fer me i s'pose..
i'm convinced now u're not who u wan others to tink u are..
u're a lost soul..
n i wish u all e best in finding yrself..
n i wish yr frens all e best as well in findin out e real u..
in e meantime, let's play pretend fer as long as u want..
coz wit evry passin day, i seem to be gettin e hang of it..
gd luck!!

®it's really too bad things haf to take a turn fer e worse.. but i hafta wisen up against e likes of u.. juz can't let ppl like u to keep takin me fer a ride.. n fer yr frenz who tink u're e victim; dey cldn't be more wrong.. why didn't anyone jump at e idea of sharing yr daily lives?! isit becoz u guys oredi haf an inkling of wat she's really like? if so, stop judgin against those who haf to put up wit it.. keep up e hypocrisy in yr so-called frenship.. but spare me.. stay out of my hair.. as far as i noe, dis doesn't concern u, so u dun deserve to critisize.. sure, u're entitled to yr opinions, but so am i.. i've seen more than enuf of dis kind of frenships ard here n i personally dun need one in my life.. i've got my own frenz in e real world.. frenz are not someone who hide behind facades n frenz dun take sides blindly.. granted, u mite haf unconditional luv n blind loyalty to one anotha but where are yr morals, really?? den again, birds of a feather flocks togetha, don't dey?

a day out..

2007-06-19T14:13:00.000+04:00

so... i've oredi typed out a whole post last nite/real early dis mornin.. all done, rite down to e font colours when evrythin juz disappeared!!! &%@%&!!!!!! so much fer e auto-save function.. coz it's nowhere to be found.. sheesh.. juz tinkin abt it makes my blood boil all over again.. *pfft*

i wuz simply talkin abt how yday wuz sucha fruitful day n how i realised dat over here in dubz, there's still ppl worth missing n caring fer.. n dat certainly gives me warmth all over...

so, met up wit suzanna.. our much overdue date which neva seemed to materialise finally did.. went to mall of emirates n headed straight to johnny rockets to feed our hungry selves.. menu wuz kinda limited but i really like e way it wuz done up.. pretty much like billy bomber's but more authentic in a way.. totally reminded me of pop tate's fm archie comics.. heee.. yep, i still do read em.. tanx to my bro who keeps supplyin me.. =) food wasn't all dat wonderful but hey, when u're starvin i'm sure even paper'll taste gd... hahahah!!!

den we embarked on a shoppin spreeeee... not really on my side, it wuz lil ms suz.. she's got leave after dis flgt so she wuz preparin herself wit some new clothes dat ppl haf not seen her in.. hahaha.. i noe wat u mean babes..
i simply bought myself a tee.. n i LOVE it.. hehehe...
den, out of e blue, mr chainani appeared n scared e hell outta me when he stood rite next to me in bershka.. i mean, wat in e werld wuz he even doin there?! turns out he wuz shoppin wit some m'sian girl-frenz of his.. oh, n i shld so haf taken a pic of how suz reacted when he kissed her on her ears... she wuz totally squirmin in disgust n it wuz sucha kodak moment.. LOL!!! n erm, no, he din kiss me but i'm not complainin.. =)

so, after much walkin abt e mall, my feet got really achy.. i tink i'm so out of shape considerin i've been practisin abstainance fm all these malls... waited fer muliadi to fetch us n he wuz late.. came all e way fm abu dhabi n wuz stuck in traffic or sthg.. he only arrived half past e hr, e time when i wuz s'posed to meet dali ( danny's sis )..!! n callin him wuz futile coz DU sucks!!! it's e new telecoms provider n i tink dey seriously needa werk on their network..

finally, after much internal hyperventilating over e fact dat i've not met dali before n bein late fer yr first 'date' so doesn't make a great impression.. reached ravi palace restaurant n dat poor darlin wuz sittin there, readin a book.. i tink i'd be pretty pissed off n i felt so guilty e entire time.. =S
had sucha a gd time, talkin abt evrythin n nothin n e 'best' part is, she's leavin dubz in 2wks' time.. fer gd!! n to tink she's been here since last june, n it's only our first acquaintance.. sigh~ cruelty of life is as such...
while we were there, saw mary wit her hubby, havin dinner.. been soooo long since i last saw her n it felt so nice to still be remembered.. hehehe... yep, din noe ravi's wuz so popular.. din even noe it existed n i stay like juz one road away.. told u guys i dun go out much..

dali had to leave coz we wldn't wan her hubby to pass out on e floor out of hunger now wld we... made our separate ways home n i called harli juz to say hi n she wuz abt to leave fm tasha's.. so, she stopped by at mine fer a while n we juz chilled n talked abt stuff.. n now she's in gatwick.. babes, things haf a screwed up way of werkin out so, chin up yah?? *muakz*

dat's pretty much a jist of wat happened yday.. loadsa girly company n loadsa run-ins wit ppl.. gd day all in all.. shld do dis more often.. =)

in e meantime, njoy dis vid...go ahead, sing along.. u noe u wan to... =P

® hey my chakrau fren.. u noe who u are.. let's do dis again sometime soon k? i mean, of coz after yr leave in sinz.. n yr sinz-brissy... *pfft*.. no fair!! n baby, despite me havin a ball of a time here, dat doesn't mean i dun miss u k? in fact, i tink all i seem to talk abt is you, you, you... damnnnn.... *pfft pfft*

i wanna do dat too!!!

2007-06-18T12:53:00.000+04:00

many a times, while on e travellator, i picture myself doin juz dat... how i wish... e red hat n wat nots totally make it look less fun... sigh~

®gettin ready fer a date wit suzanna now.. e long-awaited date.. ahahahaha!!!! so gonna take loadsa pics!! yeay....!!

klutz act

2007-06-17T01:21:00.000+04:00

did a few minor changes to n in my room.. can't wait to paint it tho.. i noe, i've been sayin dat fer e past 2yrs plus.. but i really intend to.. it's juz dat when i tink of all e trouble i'll hafta go thru when i finally move out, it makes me think twice.. n dat's not all dat i've been procrastinatin abt.. i haf 2mirrors still waitin to be hung.. a cupboard of sorts to be put up.. holes to drill fer e shoe holder.. geez.. i've got soooo many things on my to-do list, yet i wasted anotha fine day watchin inuyasha online.. hahahah!! talk abt prioritisin...

well, came back fm heathrow last nite.. n instead of sleepin ( told e whole crew i'd be in bed by 9pm.. not dat dey'd care.. hee.. ), i ended up clearin up e drawers n tossin out unwanted rubbish.. restocked e toilet drawer neatly.. re-arranged e stuff on e book shelf... n ended up sleepin past midnite.. to tink i wuz really beat but i juz cldn't sleep!! n dis has been buggin me fer quite some time now.. my body clock's officially a mess!!! so yeah, thot i'd tire myself to sleep n i regret it now coz when i woke up, i had muscle aches all over.. did e galley again on e flgt n doin e chores at home certainly din help em relax one bit.. hey, housework IS tough k? werk is.. period..

newayz, made a fool of myself while in heathrow.. thot e weather wld be cold n i packed only a pair of boots.. considered wearin my werk shoes out but decided on juz suckin it in n wearin e boots instead.. it wuz s'posed to rain anyways.. n it did.. only when i wuz walkin back to e hotel... *rolls eyes*
so yeah, decided to be adventurous n headed out e other direction, to uxbridge, instead of e normal visit to hounslow.. bad move... bad, bad move.. coz ultimately, my goal wuz to pay homage to primark.. but there wuz none in uxbridge!!! n e sales assistant i asked said e nearest wuz in hounslow!!!! dat'll be nice if it wuz as near as he'd put it.. but 'near' is like an hr's bus ride away!! e hotel wuz smack in e middle n i chose to go to somewhere i shldn't even haf bothered considerin!! i mean, it makes no sense to get fm point A to C only to go to B thru A n den havin to go back to A again?? hahahaha!!!! makes no sense no?
ended up wanderin aimlessly, wit no primark fix... constantly smackin my head ( not literally ) fer my own stupidity... why oh why am i always so silly??!

n it din stop there.. thruout e whole flgt back, i wuz bein sucha butterfingers, n so not at e top of e game!! i must haf really tested e patience of e other 2 girls.. who were lovely btw, always lendin me a hand.. tho i wldn't noe if dey were bitchin abt me coz dey were both koreans afterall.. so yep, e whole flgt wuz a disaster n when i thot it wuz all over, i literally splashed e whole toilet wit red wine juz as i wuz tryin to gash it down e bowl.. somehow, e whole wine cage juz escaped fm my hands n made a frantic downpour in e loo.. cue e korean girls to e rescue once more... gosh... i seriously can't rememba how many times i screwed up in dat 7hrs or so.. i'm sucha klutz dat i even surprise myself.. n i hate dat...

® yep.. i'm still me.. e same ol klutzy, ditzy person... some things dun change huh?
baby.. i miss u terribly.. we mite say we're normal but sometimes i tink we're far fm dat.. n it's those simple things dat makes me happy.. like today's loooong conversation online fer example.. it's been a while hey?
screw e net provider in dubz!! dey screwed wit our precious sightspeed!!! curses!!!

=)

2007-06-12T02:36:00.000+04:00

'the terminal' was showin on tv juz now.. wuz so nice watchin it again.. sucha feel-gd show.. n tom hanks' talent is exceptional... i luv dat guy... but e best part of e show? wuz when e phoenix chi guy's character wuz talkin abt catherine zeta-jones' character (who is a stewardess) n he went sthg like 'flyin totally screw their biological clock n dat's why dey're always ready fer sex.. why do u tink dey're always smilin??'---or sthg along dat line.. hahahahaha!!! classic...

n oh, not to forget e old indian guy, gupta... wat a character!

dirrrrty..

2007-06-10T02:17:00.001+04:00

almost went to snoozeland when i realised i din write abt today.. well, nothin much happened.. in fact, it wuz e laziest, slothiest day on record.. fer myself, at least... din do anythin at all.. unless u consider finishin season 3 of desperate housewives as sthg.. practically vegged out in front of e tube e whole day n ordered pizza.. meal fer two; fer juz one i.e. me!!! hahahaha... it made more sense coz i thot it'd be my two meals fer e day but i had no appetite to even begin with so i only managed to down 2 n a half slices.. damnnn... i'm restless n i din eat enuf.. wat's wrong wit me?!? but yeah, e pizza inspiration came fm telly, seemed like evry show i watched had ppl eatin pizza in it... there u haf it.. e power of tv!!

but dat wasn't e only recurrin theme today.. e other being infidelity... of coz there wuz loads of it on wisteria lane.. it is part of e plot anyways.. but den when i wuz watchin Dr.Phil ( hey, it wuz in e aftnn n there wuz nothin interestin on!!.. ) n it basically revolved ard couples wit unfaithful partners... there wuz this particular dude, who's married n insists there's nothin wrong wit him gettin some fm other women n expects his wife to understand.. in his own words, 'it's juz my nature.. i'm e hunter..' n e level of maturity reflected by him wuz totally incredible.. n i'm totally bein sarcastic here.. he's juz so bloody shallow n childish he even walked out of e show when he wuz cornered at one point.. coz he wuz tryin to weasel his way out of trouble by lyin n obviously it din work coz e interviews dey did wit him prior to e show wuz all on record!!! one hell of a stupid SOB!!! n if his wife chooses to stick by her sad-excuse-of-a-man; she's stupider... ( is there such a word?? ) kinda reminds me of a certain 'fren' who stayed here wit us fer almost 3mths.. juz received a fonecall fm her/him e other day.. simply becoz they were havin problems again n dat gf of hers switched off her mobile.. so wat's new?? sheeesh... wake up n smell e roses!!! or in dis case, my fart... hahahahahahah!!!!!

so as i wuz sayin, e whole theme fer today wuz infidelity.. n even on channel v, when i wuz channel-surfin, e first song dat came on wuz 'don't lie' by black eyed peas... hmmm?? wat's up wit dat?!

first of all, i wun even take cheatin on me lying down.. dat's fer sure.. i'm selfish liddat.. i dun share my man.. n i'd probly be on a rampage, juz like dat biggsby character on despo housewives--she learnt of her hubby's affair n went on a shootin spree in e supermarket... not really a shootin spree per se... go watch n u'll noe wat i'm talkin abt.. but of coz, i'm not as crazy.. i mean, i'd juz let nature take its course.. after all, karma is one big bitch no one wise enuf wld wanna mess wit.. in JT's words in dat song of his; 'wat goes ard comes back ard...' oh, n of coz alicia keys did a gd job sendin out dat msg as well.. i hate violence n i hate confrontations even more... ( wuz starin at my 3 cats-see no evil, say no evil, hear no evil- figurines n tryin to figure out which one i wuz.. n i tink i'm say no evil...) i hate unpleasantness tho i do bitch abt it occassionally.. juz dat i wun do much abt it.. i pretty much wait fer e evil-doers to get their just desserts...

but lately, i've been tryin to stop all this negativity n tryin to get myself to rise above it all.. i mean, wat's e point in cursin others when all it does is make u feel worse?? n wat's e point of stoopin to their level? i tink it'll be betta if u juz wish em all e best n move on... if dey tink dat doin wrong is right, den let em learn their own lessons... of coz, dis only applies to ppl who crosses e limits wit me..
if ppl dat i care abt does any wrong, i'd give em a hard knuckle on e head to knock some sense into em... so, if u eva get sucha treatment, juz rememba, i'm only doin it becoz i luv u... =P

so as i wuz sayin, i can be pretty selfish.. only when i noe dat dat sthg is mine... n rightfully so.. i'm not e kinda person to come in between a couple n somehow, in all my simple-mindedness, i'd expect others to honour dat as well.. but of coz in reality, dat's a lil too much to be askin fer... dat SOB i mentioned earlier, e cheat on Dr.Phil, even went as far as to sayin to e audience who disagreed wit his point of view dat it's right fer men to get some action outside their marriage, dat 75% of em wld haf been cheated on... now, dat's a worryin statistic.. wateva happened to happily eva after?! wateva happened to e sanctity of a marriage?! i wanna be those old couples, still in luv wit each other, still holdin hands in their twilight years.. or is e generation we're in juz unlucky enuf to be degenerates?? heck, the other couple featured, had e husband cheatin on e wife while she wuz goin thru plastic surgery in order to please him... she wuz lyin there, bein cut open, all while he wuz bein pleasured by someone else.. we deceive ourselves wit lies, deception n more commonly, plastic surgery...
wat haf we become?? (n by we, i dun mean me..=P)
n to haf 'reality' tv shows which sensationalise n even glorifies vices ( i'm talkin abt jerry springer shows n e likes..) n havin ppl wash their dirty laundry out on national tv, broadcasted all ard e globe, wat kinda msg are we sendin out?? i sure as hell wld be damn embarrassed to talk abt my problems in front of a crowd... i'd rather settle it wit e parties involved.. but who are we kiddin? we noe i'm not dat kinda person.. i'd juz mull abt it n juz go wit e flow... which i noe, is a problem in itself..

but, as i said, i'd rather give my blessings to an adulterous couple coz i noe dey'd deserve each other than to fight fer sthg which isn't worth it.. i'd juz be poisonin myself when i curse em or do voodoo on em.. i mean, u get back threefolds of wat u wish upon others.. so why not wish e culprits get a windfall of a million bucks... u do e maths.. it's threefolds... heh..... but of coz, it doesn't werk dat way... wishful tinkin!! after all, life's a bitch.. n she's got puppies... *winks at tina*

®dat wink to tina in no way indicates us condoning, adultery, voodoo,etc... n it doesn't imply me callin her a bitch.. it's juz our personal joke abt e puppies part...
tho i do wonder if one wld rather be in e noe abt e affairs or be in denial???? coz btw e 2, i can't choose.. i juz pray it'd neva happen to me..
n does peein in yr enemies' shampoo/shower gels brings u down to their level?? or maybe an innocent nudge at e top of e stairways perhaps?? or how abt bloggin abt it???
p.s:my views are highly recommended wit a pinch of salt..

summer of '59??

2007-06-09T02:36:00.000+04:00

ooooh... mighty tired rite now... juz came back fm zurich.. din do much there.. but super busy durin e flgt, did e galley.. pretty impressed wit myself considerin it's 340-500 n it's e first time i did e galley in e front.. simply becoz i wuz kinda lazy to entertain e pax.. so yep, considerin i'm not familiar wit e whole aircraft n not to mention e service, i did really really well if i may say so myself.. i mean, no screw-ups n evrythin went pretty smoothly.. yeay!!! *pats self on e back*

only thing is dat my nails are so blardy ugly rite now... all chipped n peelin.. n knowin how i've got itchy fingers, i'd be peelin em off by e layers.. so, ugly nails get uglier... sheeesh...

but ugly nails dun stop old men from hittin on u.. e capn wuz extremely nice n frenly, kept askin me to go up front to say hi.. even came down to our galley to 'stretch his legs'.. i mean, those ppl rarely even surface fm beyond dat sacred door much more to go down to our side.. well, thot nothin of it, so i juz entertained him as i wld any other person n even visited e cockpit.. all wuz alrite, e guys were frenly, talked abt passports, bikes, shoppin; very random topics... n den after we all signed out n were at briefin, he wuz there waitin fer his ride so i juz said my gdbyes.. u noe, juz bein courteous, n den he wuz like 'hey, maybe u shld gimme a call one day n we cld hit e malls...?' i wuz stunned n din noe how to react.. i mean, dis guy's born in e yr '59!!! probly younger by my own dad by a yr or two... eeeks!!!! he shld be havin kids abt my age, not hittin on em!!!! so yeah, i wuz pretty shocked, taken aback, aghast, loss fer words, e whole sheebang..

den again, he mite juz be frenly n i'm thinkin too highly of myself.. hahaha!! but i did feel complimented when he said i cld pass off as a polynesian.. in fact, he thot i had similar features to samoans.. coz his mum is one... i dun care if yr mum or yr granny is one, as long as i dun get mistaken fer a filipino or thai or wat-haf-yous... *grinz* no offense to anyone!!

klah, time fer bed now... not b4 i call my baby to make him jealous... hurhurhur.... =P

® will upload pics soon.. weather wuz gorgeous so managed to get some nice shots..
oh, salz.. fancy runnin into u juz now.. lookin hot babes!! been sooo long n i'm so lookin forward to our lagos.. i really mean it! tho e destination is sucky, n i do wish it wuz a sinz-brissy too, but hey, at least we've got nice peeps wit us!!! so yep, i'm lookin forward to dat... =) n oh, u juz made me miss partyin... badly.. sigh.......

blow wind blow!!

2007-06-05T22:49:00.000+04:00

apparently, later in e mornin ard 8am... there'll be a storm rite here in e U.A.E... called gonu... now, i dunno if i shld be freakin out or juz sleep thru it... hmmm??
after all, i haf 4 full-length glass windows rite here in my room... but heck, i'm only on e 4th floor, so i shld be fine, not too much to worry abt.. but judgin fm past experiences, e windows haf rattled in their place when there were super strong winds, especially in summer.. n it is summer now.. i can still rememba e day when i woke up feelin scared coz my door wuz rattlin as if someone wuz tryin to open it.. got so worried n freaked out dat i asked jihan to come to my room n check it out.. hahahah!!! scaredy cat ah?? but it wuz a freaky experience, i tell u.. cld even see e windows of e offices next door being battered by e high speed winds.. n not to mention dat huge-ass flag dis ctry has along e beach wuz virtually horizontal.. as in it wuz flappin wit all its glory tanx to e mighty wind.. n by huge-ass, i'm talkin massive...

well, we shall see if it's as bad as i imagine it'd be.. den perhaps i shall take a video of it or sthg.. otherwise, i'd probly still be sound asleep.. my inuyasha marathon ensues rite after i finish dis entry so i dun even noe wat time i'll end.... heee... bloody anime's so addictive!!!! n i've got like 137 more episodes to go.. only...

®suz's on a flgt tmr.. i hope it's not anytime in e mornin... n sal's got a nairobi.. gosh!! i do hope evryone'll be safe...
juz wonderin tho.. how'll dat burj dubai building hold up.. it's so freakin high n it's still not completed... coz apparently, ppl stayin in 21st do feel e bldg shakin esp those livin in e higher floors.. 21st is tall but not as tall as e burj.. so... i'm really wonderin...

bad bush

2007-06-05T16:34:00.000+04:00

simply can't stand em...

me

2007-06-05T02:19:00.000+04:00

am i simple??

chicken n tranny-chicken

2007-06-03T22:39:00.000+04:00

more inuyasha today.. n some chix rice wit charsiew.. e rice wuz my product but e charsiew wuz courtesy of me daddy, when i stopped by in sinz e other day.. got up kinda late, no tanx to e rain.. n went straight home... great timin, coz me daddy wasn't werkin dat day... so, we had our meals togetha, n den he actually created e charsiew (which is actually chicken meat lah) rite there n den fer me... how much sweeter can one get?? i mean, it wuz such a perfect trip dat i had on dis flgt... crew were nice.. werked in biznez witout a glitch.. ran into darlin suzanna while waitin fer cab at raffles city... it wuz so funny tho, when we ran into each other... it went sthg like dis......

me to self: oh, a missed call... shld i call back?? hmmmm?? (starts diallin..)
suz: fido... where are u... sthg.. sthg.. sthg.. ( didn't really hear her properly coz wuz too busy tryin to figure out who it wuz n whether i shld start speakin...)
*after more words fm suz' side n me finally figurin out who it wuz..*
me: suzanna!! hey, where are YOU??
suz: i'm in sinz.. u in sinz too? my flgt got delayed lah.. i'm on sinz-mel... juz reached..
me: oh ok, where are u now den?
suz:walkin over to esplanade to meet my frens.......
*n dat's when i noticed dis familiar hot chick strollin down my direction, talkin on e fone...*
me: SUZANNAAAA!!!! AAAAARRGGHH!!!
suz: FIDAHHHHH!!!!!!
*cumulated by hangin up of fones n rushin over to hugs n super fast ramblings....*

n i'm sooo not exaggeratin abt e shoutings n excited chatterings...
all these while muffins was standin as a witness.... teehee....

gosh suzanna... i do miss u sooo.... =(

newayz, talkin abt raffles city... i'm really appalled abt e fact dat there's tranny prostitutes werkin e streets near chijmes... i'm serious!!! i shld haf taken some pics but i'd probly be beaten to a pulp b4 i even get to upload em here.... go check it out fer yrselves.. especially at e juntion of raffles city/raffles hotel/chijmes.. gawd.. it wuz so disgustin hokey?!? wat e hell happened there?? it's such a sleazy n cheap thing n dey were obviously preyin on e angmohs n probly our crew who frequent chijmes... i saw one at work wit one angmoh n dat dude wuz certainly frightened off but dat tranny actually grabbed dat poor dude's hand n followed him.. literally bein dragged by e poor bewildered dude... n dat's not all, apparently, dan, one of e guys on my flgt, got e same rude shock when someone simply grabbed his hands n started a biznez preposition.. eeeeksss!!!!!!

dun get me wrong, i dun hate nor condemn tranny pros... but e fact dat they're doin biznez along dat stretch of e rd, is juz so wrong... i mean, not only will e victims get scared, it's a very public place as opposed to changi village... n those victims cld be some tourists who'll get a bad impression abt our country n go spreadin e news to their frens back home.. n den wat? some mite not wanna come visit while those perverts mite actually come, wit all e wrong intentions... by all means, conduct yr trade in places synonymous wit dat kinda activities, namely desker rd, changi... but to do it in e heart of town?!?! a bit too brazen isn't it?? n personally, i tink 8pm is far too early to even begin e prowl...

ministry of home affairs

2007-06-02T19:04:00.000+04:00

right.. where wuz i? hmm.. oh, home affairs.. well, now, there's a mini cold war goin on... i'm still pretty much in e middle coz i haven't been home much after all so i've been missin out on all e action.. but truth be told, i wasn't very happy abt some things long before as well.. it's juz dat i tend to juz suck it all in n let it pass.. when i like a person, i let em take me fer granted, only to a certain limit of coz.. n it's not like i'm oblivious to dat.. plus i'm not e confrontational kinda person.. i tend to juz bitch abt it to those close to me n den end up not doin anythin else.. so therein lies my fault.. i've been too quiet to e extend some ppl juz take it fer granted n get far too comfortable..

e slammin of e doors annoys me..
e loud music blastin fm one rm annoys me.. especially if i haf a flgt in e mornin n despite repeated attempts in gettin u to turn it down; i juz get ignored..
e mess left behind annoys me.. i mean, when u cook, haf e decency to wipe e werk area, wash e dishes instead of piling it all up in e sinkie.. it's not fair fer someone else to wash up after u coz it wun be nice if i were to wash my plates n leave yrs to rot.. n of coz, throw away any leftovers!! it's a wonder there's roaches in e kitchen! i had no prob fer a year simply coz i dun cook!!
no cookin=no mess=no roaches!!!
yeah, i'm all fer get-togethers.. i can't restrict yr social life, it is yr house too after all.. but there's only a certain limit dat ppl can take... i've haf enuf of ciggie smells n unexpected visits.. it's not as if we din put up wit yr partner over-stayin wit us fer almost 3/4mths??? but when yr guests take things fer granted as well, n come n go as n when dey feel like it, leave their mess n stench in e common area, even use MY bathroom, sthg needs to be said doesn't it?
i'm not happy wit havin ppl i barely noe, openin e door to my room to gain access to my toilet... dey're yr guests, y can't dey use YOURS?!? n it's not like dey haf my permission to do so in e first place!!! i wasn't even ard!! which reminds me of dat time when u simply decided to creep into my wardrobe, wear my top n kindly hang it back up witout my knowledge; dat is until i saw dat incriminatin video...

n usin someone else's laptop fer cyber-sex?!? now, dat's way out of line!!! sure, it's not my lappy; n it betta not be but i feel so disgusted n sorry fer e owner herself.. is dat even fair?? n den when someone voices out their unsatisfaction abt e way things haf been goin down, dey get accussed of over-reactin?!? it's not like u din tell yr fren to leave e mess u made out of tv boxes in e kitchen juz as it is.. accordin to dat fren, u said 'juz leave it, let em clear it..' wat are we?? yr freakin maids?? when no one says anythin abt cleanin up after u, dat doesn't mean dey enjoy doin so... n e accusations flung at dat person is not enuf? u actually delete dat someone off yr frenster list?!? n den haf yr partner block her off as well.. isn't dat mature.. n btw, bitchin abt her to her own best fren is so low... dis person in question has actually helped u guys a lot in case u haven't noticed.. so i dun tink it's fair fer her.. c'mon, u're older than us so start actin dat way..

did i mention e mess u created when u had yr partner stayin wit us.. let's juz say we all noe how really honest n un-promiscuous u are.. man, if dat's wat u call luv, den u'd betta thank god dat yr partner is a dumb-ass..

probly u juz can't help makin use of ppl.. but when those ppl concerned are my frens to begin with, dat's juz uncalled fer.. u haf no idea wat kinda trouble u put me thru by askin a certain fren of mine to help yr partner get a job... it's not as if u're clueless abt e kinda situation we're in.. n by tellin someone else dat u're a gd fren of anotha one of MY frens when u dun even noe her...? dat's juz plain weird... sometimes i really wonder who are u.. or wat u are... u can be all nice n sweet to me but den at e end of e day, i juz feel used.. how come?? i mean, it's not as if i dunno how fake u can be but y put on dat act?? i hate dat.. it only serves to confuse ppl okie? neva gonna earn brownie points wit me dat way alrite.. coz when u act, i somehow emulate dat n get all fake wit u as well.. n i hate bein fake.. i'd rather haf no contact wit someone i dun fancy than to be fake...

n apparently, yr partner said u've been lyin abt yr family... now, who does dat??!

my precious snaps!!!

2007-06-02T18:41:00.000+04:00

well, apparently, yahoo photos are shuttin down.. wtf?!?! i mean, yeah, i do upload pics onto multiply too.. juz not as regularly.. coz afterall, not evryone is on multiply.. it makes it all so leceh (troublesome)... sheesh!!
so, tried e offer to transfer pics fm yahoo over to multiply but i dun tink it worked coz there's no sign of my yahoo pics on multiply!!! k... dis is juz me freakin out coz most of my pics online are on yahoo!!!! dey can't juz shut it down!!! why?!? why?!? why?!?!?

gosh, juz tinkin of havin to upload evrythin fm scratch onto multiply is so not sthg i'm lookin forward to.. it's not like i haf a shortage of back-blogs to finish... i din even realise i haven't said much fer a whole mth... it's like i juz disappeared fm e face of e earth hey?? hahaha... u wish!!

®it's so weird comin back.. now dat there's this underlyin tension btw us roomies.. like dis mornin, nic wuz in her room when i came back.. n none of us exchanged any words.. kinda feels weird.. i noe, we're not besties n all but still, sayin hi n juz chattin, wuz quite common.. especially when none of us has seen e other fer quite a while.. granted, the barrier has always been there, but it's so in-yr-face now... it's like we're all strangers all of a sudden... shall write down abt it next, after i feed my famished self.....

there n back.. again...

2007-06-02T05:44:00.000+04:00

right here..
right now..
is so not where i wanna be..

more random rants...

2007-05-07T18:37:00.000+04:00

i'm on a warpath...

abusive..
ranting..
frustrated..
violent outbursts..
highly impatient..
overly-sensitive..
easily annoyed..
short fused..
cold..

juz some of my habits of late.. so if u see me comin, run.. run far, far away... haf some sense n move out of e line of fire.. stay away fm me n u shall be safe.. if hear me whine; juz listen.. u shld noe betta than to walk into a minefield (not dat it's yr choice in e first place).. coz i tink dat's wat i am now.. a minefield..one wrong step n i'm gonna blow up in yr face.. no matter if u're innocent or otherwise..
juz like an injured beast, i'd snap at u.. even if u're tryin to help.. so, y bother, really? leave me alone to tend to my wound n i'd heal on my own.. or probly i'd juz die... but dat's not e point..

hear my war-cry..

® i so dun appreciate bein taken at face level.. as in, gimme some credit.. as hard as it may be to swallow, i do haf some depth n i do make use of e organ called brain.. n one other thing dat irks me as much is havin to ask fer some credit in e first place.. dun patronize me.. juz becoz i dun choose to wallow in e serious/depressin stuff, dat doesn't mean i dun get affected or dat i dun care... i choose to see things on e brighter side so do yrself a favour n dun try to change me..

6th may

2007-05-06T19:18:00.000+04:00

i've known her almost all my life.. and i'm not exaggeratin.. nearly 2decades?!? dat's amazingly loooong... as i said, i dun even noe if marriages last dat long these days, much more frenships... ppl come n go... it's juz part of life.. but to haf someone u share e bulk of yr life wit, to grow up n *ehem* blossom togetha, to see e transformation fm innocent wide-eyed kids ( yes, we were!!) to hot, nubile femmes ( n yes, we ARE)... i must say i'm truly blessed...

we both haf our differences n dun even get me started on e idiosyncracies dat comes along.. but trust me, i truly haf luv fer her, in the most heterosexual way of coz.. she's like e sister i neva had.. true, juz like sisters, we bitch abt each other n at times, i do feel like stranglin her.. but we've gone beyond dat.. ( i hope.. ) =P
she's pretty much influenced e way i turned out n i certainly can't imagine havin reached dis stage of my life not havin known her at all.. (hmmm... i took a second to picture it, n boy, it wuz quite a task..) i'm sure life as it is wld be more empty.. no one wld haf exposed me to e spice girls!!! e horror!!!! LOL!!!!!

n no, i wun haf all these memories of growin up, wit incidences of flashings, someone doin my make-up on my prom nite, e passionate affair wit chocolates.. my life wld pretty much be a void..

granted, sometimes, i dun share enuf of my life wit her, but it's simply becoz i'm so scared of bein judged by someone i hold on so dearly to.. laugh, sceptics, laugh all u wan... but honestly, to even come close to bein a dissapointment to anyone i treasure, is a big n real fear i haf in me... fer all of e others out there, 'i dun give 2 fucks abt wat dey tink'-*quoted by lynda*

so, on dis special day, altho i haf only less than half an hour to finish dis entry up before it turns midnite in sinz/perth...; i juz wanna wish my life-long-bosom-buddy-bestie with all e goodness in e world, e best in health, wealth, happiness, luv, e whole nine yards fer dat matter.. u've touched me ( not literally ) in more ways than u can ever imagine.. true, we're not dat affectionate but i juz wanna let u n e whole world noe dat u mean so much to me n u certainly added spice to my life.. truly can't imagine life witout u n i juz wanna thank u fm e bottom of my heart fer acceptin me fer who i am instead of runnin off fer yr life...

well, u're pretty much stuck wit me now fer e rest of yr life n i'm soooo lookin forward to our REAL blings to celebrate e 2nd decade!!!

dearest tina, happy 24th bifday n as cliche as it may sound, may all yr wishes come true!!!!!

*MUAKZ*

geeez..

2007-05-04T19:27:00.000+04:00

i've not showered...
i've not eaten...
i've not studied...

wat a productive day!!!

® tank god fer e i've not showered part... sudden attack of e ciggies essence.. why oh why??!

random rants....

2007-05-02T01:59:00.000+04:00

ohmigosh.... it's e second nite/mornin in a row dat i've stayed up late.. okie, no big deal rite? well, it IS a big deal when u're crammin fer a course!! best part is, i seem to be doin e assignments wrongly... i tink there's dis particular one dat i did which mite end up uneccessary!! n to tink i spent like hours on it, strainin my eyes tryin to make sense of e fuckin fine print.. dat's wat u get when u squeeze an A6 size paper to fit into A4!! i mean, dey practically shrunk e freakin paperwork into one page n now it all seems to make sense why my eyes are so blurry...

n dat's not all... e freakin person who published e coursebook obviously din proof-read e whole thing.. it's like there's a freakin typo in evry sentence n i totally gave up correctin em after 5pages!!! yeah, 5pages n still more to go but it seemed like i wuz fightin a losin battle.. pissed me off big time!! e kinda quality found in e so-called premium cabin coursebook is totally appallin.. not dat i'm some language whiz.. i'm not even e native speaker.. n i'm not abt to be one of those who tink their command of e language is so superior, dey haf evry rights to be snooty n proceed to fake an accent... wit all due respect to those ppl, i dun see e need to be so poser n all.. i mean, yeah, sometimes grammatical errors irks me... juz like when someone who's obviously tryin too hard does... plus, i noe i'm not exactly a fine example of someone practisin perfect english, as u can tell fm my blog, but it's juz a freakin blog... it's s'posed to be light-hearted.. s'posed to be where u pen (type) down yr thots.. s'posed to be where u can be yrself n forget abt e facade..

but dat's not e point.. how can an established international company take e trainin materials of their staff wit so little regards??! i'd definitely be embarrassed when someone reads thru e book n see e incredulous standard of english... it doesn't help dat some of e errors are so easily noted n perhaps rectified n yet it wuz a repeated mistake.. e person typin out e whole guide certainly seems to be in a hurry.. either dat or e pc dey used did not come wit a spellin check function.. (which brings me back to rant abt e fact dat dis is an established international company we're talkin abt!!!)

okie, okie... gotta give baby a wake-up call..
can't believe i bitched so much... told myself it'll juz be a short entry... but........

sorry guys, i tink it's juz a side-effect of bein sleep-deprived n stressed up over e upcomin course.. not to mention, home-sickness.... n an overdose of cigarette smoke... fuckin house smells like a fuckin motel!!!!!!

®fuckin hate it when ppl take others fer granted.. respect is totally not sthg common these days...

where were we??

2007-04-27T10:19:00.000+04:00

baby!!! haf i told u how much i luv u?? n haf i thanked u enuf fer dat wonderful bifday gift u gave me?? it's by far e best eva... i mean, e plan.. e surprise.. e nite in... e nite out... n of coz.. e ring... sigh.... i really appreciate all dat n more baby... tanx fer makin me feel like e luckiest girl eva!!! shucks... juz tinkin abt it all makes me feel all warm n gooey all over... hehehe.... i miss u loads... already... *sigh*

well, back in dubz dubz (not fer too long, tho..).. yeah, i noe, it's abt time... hahaha!! but honestly, i kinda feel weird bein here now.. like i dun fit in.. kinda hard to explain but perhaps i'm gettin sick of this place oredi?? but it's not like i'm abt to pack up my bags anytime soon, tho i noe a certain someone who'll be over e moon when dat finally happens... hehehe... hold on to yr horses, baby... u noe i've got some 'commitments' here which i've yet to settle.. so when it happens, i'll make sure u're e first to noe... did i mention i miss u loads?? i mean, it certainly doesn't help dat there's no one at home n i'm as sick as a pup!! i'm beginnin to see e trend here.. like wheneva i return to dubz after a great holiday, i'm sick... i beginnnin to tink i mite be allergic to dubz... LOL!!!! rite...

anyways, i've been naughty, not bloggin at all.. in fact, seems like ages since i last did n i even forgot my login profile!!!! eeeks!!! but rest assured, i'd definitely be postin up on some events fm e past few mths... but, no promises it's anytime soon.. after all, i've got my upgrade thingy in e beginnin of e mth n den followed by anotha 10days leave after dat... so, juz imagine me, tryin to keep my head out of e backlogs i've got up to my neck!!! geez!!!
oh, tina dearest, i've finally uploaded e perth pics onto multiply, so go see, go see!! n, i'm sorry to inform u, i dun tink i can be in perth anytime next mth... =( dun keep yr hopes up too high but i'll see wat i can do fer e end of may tho... well babes, i miss u too...

®lookin forward to tonite's gatwick... harli's in first n dat cheeky min swapped to be on e same flgt.. but i'm gonna pretend i din noe til we get to cbc.. kwahkwah.... keepin my fingers crossed it'll be a great flgt!!! wit me on it, of coz it will!!! LOL.... =P

2007-04-03T01:53:00.000+04:00

® don't freak..... =)

short but shweet~

2007-02-26T23:08:00.000+04:00

bloody roster still not out yet!!! n it's only a day left til e next mth!!! wat e f*ck are those schedulin ppl up to?!? sheesh!!!!! so bloody pissed evrytime i check up on evita or on e portal only to haf no updates!! i need to noe where i'm goin.. n i need to noe dat i wun be stuck wit sucky flgts like i did dis mth!!! eeeargggghhhh!!!!!!

newayz, did a doha in e afternoon... wit suzie!!! yeay!! finally got to see u huh, babe? hehehehe... but too bad it wuz juz a short flgt.. n we din even really got to sit n chat coz there wuz no time lah... it's so funny.. how we did e longest flgt togetha e last time n now, we did e shortest.. hahahahah!! e extremes.. but, i wuz glad we had dat flgt togetha.. time togetha is betta than nothin... =) miss you!!!!! oh, n e best part wuz, i flew wit like 3/4 of e crew on dat particular flgt before... really nice bunch.. too bad it had to be so short tho.. dat always happens, doesn't it? wheneva u get great crew, it's always a short turnaround n den when u haf to do those long ones, there's bound to be some crew on dat flgt wit problems in e head... geeez... i seriously tink schedulin has as issue wit us crew.. dey simply hate us all... hmph!!

well, dis mth's comin to an end.. phew!! coz i really dunno how long more i cld put up wit dat sucky roster witout callin in sick!! hehehehehe... rather proud of meself fer not pressin '2'.. fer 2mths in a row now.. not dat i'm werkin towards dat upgrade, it's juz dat i wuz scared if i had called sick fer dat double sector flgt a few wks back, those vindictive ppl in schedulin wld gimme more of em when i haf my reserve in may!!! no way jose!!

but all in all, despite e sucky flgts i'd had to put up wit, it wuz all gd.. nice crew really makes up fer it all... not countin dat china bitch of an sfs on e last kuwait turn lah... crazy bitch, dat one...

e entry tonite wuz s'posed to be abt my malta trip.. n e reply to my dearest hao's email... but as u can see, i totally digressed... n now, i'm soooo sleepy... tink i'd betta snooze now.. juz yawned again.. lost count e number of times i did dat in e past 5mins.. heh... will try to update tmr, after my flgt, if i'm not too tired, dat is.. coz i've yet to pack fer e heathrow e day after tmr... n dat's dat!! fer dis mth, at least......

®baby, i miss u too.. hang in there.. i'll be back soon.. i hope.....

i needa bitch!

2007-02-24T15:20:00.000+04:00

some ppl simply haf no brains.. while others juz dunno how to use one... like someone i noe fer example... (keep in mind e fact dat dey're always slammin e freakin doors in e house..) it's way past midnite n dey're watchin a movie in their room.. sure, go ahead, enjoy... but haf e decency to not blast e freakin stereos!!! if i din msg dat person in question, tellin her dat i've got an early mornin flgt dat day n i'm tryin to snooze, it wldn't be dat bad... but i freakin texted her 3 times!!! in a span of half an hour!!! first thot wuz dat maybe her hp wuz not switched on.. or maybe i din send e msg out.. but after e third strike n still i can hear e freakin noise fm her rm, i called her up.. n wat she said simply made me burn....
she simple went 'oh, e movie finishin oredi.. we turnin down e volume liao...'
i mean, wtf?!?!?! i din even hafta ask her to turn it down, she oredi knew.. she obviously got e freakin sms-ES!!! how considerate one can be totally amazes me...
in e first place, i dun understand why u even need to turn up e volume so much as if u're in e cinema.. if it wuz in e day, it's still acceptable... but in e nite?!?
as phua chu kang puts it... 'use yr brain, use yr brain!!!'

once, her partner shared wit me dat dis person actually took up psychology... made me tink.. perhaps dat's why she acts differently to different ppl... i mean, she did mention she hates hypocrites, but sometimes, she can be a real big one.. fer me, i dun get affected dat easily, i mean, i noe there were times when she used reverse psychology on me or even tried some subterfudge... but i'm so god-damn bo-chap (i.e. can't be bothered) dat i tink it annoys her dat wateva she's doin isn't werkin on me.. n i can see it all to clearly when she's declarin her affection to my other roomie... probly tryin to make me feel left out.. i did feel e pinch initially but now, it's so clear wat kinda connivin person she is dat i can't trust her thru n thru... evry lil action she does, or lil thing she says, i tend to analyze it first... i honestly dun enjoy doin dat.. coz it's certainly not a trait of bein bo-chap.. plus it does gets tiring to not trust someone u're in such close proximity wit... newayz, i dun tink i hate her... it's juz dat i'm not dat keen of her weird antics.. n e fact dat she treats her partner wit such manner, totally puts me off as well.. imagine meetin yr 'scandal' in some other part of e world on valentine's when yr partner is rite under one roof wit u... proves how much she treasures e partner huh?

gosh, i'm sooo judgin her rite now but i'm juz in my bitchy mode lah... i mean, i do like her, we do haf our fair share of gd times.... it's juz dat i can't stand her bein fake...

®as i said, i dun hate her... in fact, it cld be worse, i cld haf had some arabic girl put up in e apartment.. but yeah, i do luv her, at times... but when she puts up dat show, it does turn me off coz i can so see thru it.. some mite not be able to, but personally, i get disgusted... it's not sthg personal against her.. it's juz me.. wheneva i noe dat e person has a character like hers, i'd rather stay away..

here today, there tmr..

2007-02-19T12:36:00.000+04:00

bloody pics of bintan still takin foreva to get uploaded on multiply.. n i'm not even halfway done... too many pics lah.. kwahkwah... newayz, here's some random pics fm my previous flgts.....

my hot cuppa in e mornin...

check out e gigantic ketchup pack... same size as my big mac!!!

munich wuz nice.. finally went to e town... a bit cold tho.. n e best part wuz dat i ran into darlin dahlia... so nice.. sigh.....

anyhoos, juz came back fm seychelles.. finally stepped foot there... like totally a dream island.. at least fer me lah... e unspoilt nature, e flora n fauna.. n how e ppl live ard it all.. tho i dun tink i can stay there fer long tho... i mean, yeah, i'm into nature n all dat.. but i can't take e creepy crawlies... in fact, while talkin to my baby on e fone, i happened to look at e floor beside e bed n to my horror, there it wuz... crawlin ard like it wuz home sweet home... on e parquet floor of e room i wuz in!!! e milipede totally freaked me out big time... i mean, how i can i sleep wit e knowledge of it crawlin ard, wat if it goes into my nose? my ears?? any other open crevices?!? or it cld climb onto e ceilin n at e rite moment when i lie flat on my back n haf my mouth wide open, it decides to dive rite into it?!? in e end, since baby said not to kill it, i actually braved myself ( albeit squirmish) , took a piece of paper, let it crawl onto e paper n den open my door n threw it over e parapet.. din stay to hear its scream or thud when it hits e ground coz i wuz only in a shirt n nothin underneath.. plus, e corridor wuz a bit scary, bein near midnite... but my bravery definitely paid off since i had a rather gd sleep... i mean, we only had a 15hrs layover so it wuz really juz less than 6hrs worth of sleep dat i managed since we had dinner n i wuz so stuffed i cldn't snooze... sheeesh....

newayz, e beach dat we were at wasn't wat i pictured in my head of seychelles all these while... it wasn't really beach-beach per se coz it wuz probly only 15ft of sand n then it wuz e sea already... someone, towels n flip-flops even got washed by e tide.. so anyways, me n 2 other girls took a stroll along e 'beach' n went quite a distance... took loadsa silly pics... n den made frens wit some of e local kids... a certain brother n sista totally caught our eyes coz dey were gorgeous!! potential heartbreakers i tell u!! n e boy wuz so cute lah, even jumped of e wall to put on a show fer us... while e girl took a liking to me n refused to take pics wit e other 2girls except me... kwahkwah... she probly thot i looked more like one of em islanders anyways... rrrrrite... heheheheh.... but yeah, had a short but sweet stay... wld luv to get e chance to spend more time there n explore more...

oh yah, on e flgt goin, a certain lil ol lady wuz so nice... simply becoz i wuz nice to her to begin wit lah... she wuz on e way to e island to visit her ailing mother... her mum wuz oredi 94 yrs old.... n e passenger, her name's rose-marie, wuz prepared fer e worse... n said dat if her mother really passes on, dey'd be buryin her there, coz her late hubby's restin in peace there too... how sweet lah... but i thot it must haf been hard on rose-marie herself, i mean to go there n to haf to prepare fer wat's to come.. as in a potential funeral n all.. she flew in all e way fm san francisco some more, so it wuz practically half-way round e world in almost 2days of travellin... so i kinda gave her a bit more attention than i normally do wit any other pax.. listened to her story, gave her some stuff fm e aircraft n kept checkin up on her to see if she wuz doin ok... n den, she gave me a note, wit her address in frisco, n insisted i come visit.. held onto my hands as i wuz securin e cabin fer landin n kept askin me to visit her.. she oso gave her add in seychelles askin to come drop by... i felt so touched n warm all over man.. it's like she totally appreciated me bein nice n it's not always ppl, i.e.passengers; show it.. den even on disembarkin, she stopped to thank me profusely n kissed both my cheeks.. n den made me promise to visit her again... sigh, wat a sweet old lady lah... if only all passengers were liddat...

®haven't got any partin thots fer now.. but i keep worryin abt my dad.. i dunno why...

stupid cupid pt 2

2007-02-14T02:23:00.000+04:00

Dreaming Of You
-Selena

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I'd wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

Cuz I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you even see me
And I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes
Would you see what's inside?
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close
But so far, all I have are dreams of you
So, I wait for the day and the courage to say
How much I love you(Yes, I do)

I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Ahhh...I can't stop dreaming of you
Ahhh...I can't stop dreamin

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe that you came up to me
And said, "I love you; I love you too"

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow, and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming with you endlessly...

® HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY PPL!!!!!!! ho-kie... i noe it's a bit weird to be postin a song by person who's restin in peace rite now fer valentine's.. but i juz luv it... n e fact dat i AM stayin up late at nite n dreamin of him when i finally sleep, juz makes dis so... nice? i mean, except fer e last verse coz i'm not dreamin wit him... in fact, i wish i wuz! but nooooooo... i hafta be stuck here n make do wit seein him in my sleep... sigh... dis sucks... drowned my sorrows wit beer juz now.. root beer to be exact.. fierce ah?!? =P well, he shld be up real soon.. tank god fer dis webbycammy.. at least i can see him 'live'.. technology definitely beats dreamin... heh... hope dey'd come up wit sthg fer teleportation soon... it'd be so much easier fer us... sigh........

stupid cupid...

2007-02-13T17:39:00.000+04:00

damnit... dat song i so thot wuz sweet n apt, e one i had in my recent entry, totally reminds him of a certain her... coz apparently dat's e exact song he listened to evry day followin their break-up... how dandy!! n it's not funny either when we went clubbin e other time, n she wuz there, n of all e songs dey cld haf played, MOS had to play 'case of e ex'... i mean, is dat funny? i dun tink so... geeez... i cld tell she wuz all dat n more fer him den... i mean, yeah, it's all in e past but i dunno how come i get all jealous n defensive when she's bein mentioned... i haf no personal agenda against her, i dun even noe noe her.. but i juz dun like e feelin of bein 2nd best, noe wat i mean? it's like tryin to be e replacement.. sheeeesh... dun get me wrong, i'm not insecure liddat, i noe i'm hot (so not shy there!! =P), n i noe i've got gd things to offer, it's juz annoyin when i get anotha blast fm e past, featurin her... sigh.... tanx cupid!!!!! great valentine's....

®let's see, i'll be werkin tmr, on a freakin kuwait turn... while a certain fren'll be in egypt wit her beloved fer a short holiday.. anotha fren's in bintan wit hers.. but den again, it cld be worse ah... anotha fren of mine's on a layover while her partner's stranded here at home wit me, havin wild imaginations of her cheatin ard.. n it certainly doesn't help when dat fren of mine totally allows no means of contactin her there... poor thing u noe her partner... geez.. some ppl really dunno how lucky dey are.. i mean, i'd give anythin to haf my darlin here wit me.. under one roof... despite his tendency to make me feel 2nd compared to her... sigh...

confessions of a DB..

2007-02-12T00:56:00.000+04:00

i really envy those ppl who happen to haf spare cash n thus are able to buy their seat on e train to higher education.. n den there's those who really work hard juz to earn dat seat fer emselves, havin to juggle btw werk n studies.. those ppl, i admire..
fer e former bunch, it's really despicable when i hear stories of those lucky sods not concentratin on their studies n party harder instead.. i mean, dun dey realise how many ppl out there wld gladly trade places wit em?? dey juz dun see how gd dey've got it goin on, i s'pose.. probly e fact dat dey were born wit silver spoons in their mouths n havin things fallin smack onto their laps all e time totally damaged their ability to appreciate their fortune.. but let's not generalise these rich folks.. i noe those who dabble n indulge in their vices all e time are probly juz a handful out there coz i personally noe of those who really n actually study more than anythin else... dey're there to get their degree n dey're gettin dat doggone degree, even if it means passin up e chance to be a social butterfly.. n dey wun juz stop there, dey move ahead n pursue dat masters n wat-haf-u.. n mind you, dat takes a lotta discipline n girth.. which i can only dream of havin..

sometimes, when i sit ard, i start to wonder wat's in store fer me once i decide to give dis job up fer gd.. i mean, i haf no paper qualifications n dat's like e major requirement fer any decent jobs nowadays.. i wldn't be surprised if dey expect taxi drivers to haf diplomas in e near future.. den i'd be stuck in a rut again since i dun drive either!!! probly i shld take my econs lecturer's advice n juz get married to a rubber tapper boyfren in m'sia.. hey, at least he's his own boss, init? hehehehehe... but is there still money in e rubber market? n no, i'm not talkin abt e contraceptive kinds, i'm sure there'll always be money made from dat one!!! LOL!!!!

so yeah, it does make me mad when i get belittled due to e fact dat i dun haf my 'a' levels cert.. which effectively makes my 'o's my highest qualification.. which is really nothin in dis day n age.... granted, i dun haf dat higher level of education but dat doesn't make me any dumber than those grads.. does it?! probly dey'd be able to hold betta conversations involvin politics, philosophy n shit liddat but does dat really make one a betta person? i mean, yeah, when someone i'm talkin to shares e fact dat dey're double, triple degree or even phd holders, i do feel a tad smaller.. i do doubt myself n begin to wonder if i really shld continue talkin to dis person in question.. i mean, i dun wanna feel dumber than i already am.. but den it hits me dat these geeks (no offense) are afterall human beings as well.. e same red blood flows thru their veins as well.. (if u dun consider e 'blue bloods' of coz... hahaha.. lame attempt there!) n not all of these 'gifted' one talks to e rest of us under-achievers as if we're lesser beings.. nope, no condescendin tones, no dismissive gestures n e fact dat dey actually listen, dat makes these learned ones more interestin n more, in a way, bigger than their paper qualifications.. which boils down to dat age old argument of IQ vs EQ.. true, IQ will solve many of e world's puzzles but it's e EQ part which adds e human touch when anyone's tryin to solve any problems.. plus, it makes any given nerd more likeable..

which brings me to a particular reality show i once caught, titled 'beauty n e geek'.. it claimed to be more of a social experiment to see if beauty cld go along wit brains.. n of coz, each contestant had either or... dey din choose anyone who wuz blessed wit both attributes.. it wuz kinda interestin to see e way those hot chicks had to literally force emselves to not squirm or gag in e presence of those nerds.. while on e other hand, u also get to observe e way e nerds try soooo damn hard to impress e chicks.. hilarious n futile of coz.. but those guys deserve credit fer tryin n fer dat, i do find it kinda adorable... i mean, gimme a choice of any nerds, fat guys who haf a sense of humility or some hot adonis hunk who tink dey're god's gift to us womenkind or even e mankind; i'd pick e nerd n e fat guys any given day... i can't stand cockiness or anyone who tinks dey're all dat plus i still haf a thing fer e chubby ones... heheheh...

n den there wuz dat season of 'the apprentice' where e 'booksmarts'-those wit paper qualifications, were pitted against e 'streetsmarts'-those witout paper qualifications but r still successful in their own way i.e, entrepeneur, biznez owners, etc... i thot dat dat wuz interestin as well but fer e love of god, i can't rememba who won dat one n which camp he/she's from.. but i clearly recall an episode when one of those 'booksmarts' guys actually talked wit such arrogance n disdain towards e other teams dat it automatically made me mentally 'fire' him ala donald trump.. =P
on anotha note altogetha, juz today, i caught a docu on autistic kids.. (it's a neurological condition dat causes some children to act differently.. check out dis link fer more info.. autism.org) it wuz abt dis boy from bangalore who caught e attention of experts in autism wit his ability to write wonderful poems.. he can't express himself in speech juz like you n i, but he can come up wit a poem juz off e top of his head, n he's only 11yrs-old.. well, those experts flew him n his mum over to london to learn more n i hafta say, i wuz quite impressed wit his flair in poetry.. (tanx to e narrative versions of his poems by e erm, narrator? heh.. =P) reminded me of dat boy, miko hughes' character in 'mercury rising'.. hmmm, i'm sucha tv addict man!! i mean, my last 2 paragraphs revolved ard some stupid reality shows, not e docu, of coz..!! proves how deep i can get huh? geez.....

newayz, i believe sometimes e paper qualifications one has doesn't make a person.. it's e effort put in in order to achieve it.. but of coz in some cases, e paper in itself very much makes a person change.. dey tink dey're mightier n smarter than e rest.. fer these ppl, i suggest stop livin off yr parents n learn a bit of humility.. dat's one word dey shld haf taught ppl like dat in e first semester of their very-much-sponsored course.. i mean wat's e point of havin all e luxuries n papers in e world if u dunno how to act like a decent human being.. after all, stayin in skool longer doesn't make one smarter.. there's many aspects of learnin.. n it's not only confined within skoolwalls... so, if anyone out there still tinks dat a paper qualification is all dat really matters, pls feel free to share wit me your viewpoints.. coz i personally din stay in skool longer than i'd luv to, so i mite be soundin like a real sour grape in dis entry.. i mean, c'mon, i dun even fill my blog wit bombastic words or entries of mind-bogglin arguments or theories.. i juz jot down wat i tink n feel n yes, i admit, i'm not those who blog abt anythin of deep n profound nature.. dat's juz not my forte.. probly due to my lack of higher education? n i dun wanna come across like any of those other pretentious ppl out there.. perhaps i mite be tryin to console myself.. tryin to validate my worth.. wateva itis, no one shld eva make anyone else feel small..

®dis entry is not in any way directed to anyone, wit or witout paper qualifications.. juz me 'voicin' out my thots.. rantin, if u will.. sigh... i juz feel so useless... so under-achieved... so dumb.. well, not really dumb dumb, juz not toally realisin my full potential.. n i feel dat dat's sucha waste.. tink donald trump'll wanna adopt me?? LOL!!!

juz bein me..

2007-02-10T18:00:00.000+04:00

i'm still in bed.. i'm still hungry.. n i dun see myself doin anythin abt dat anytime soon... i'm drained...
n cranky... not a very nice mix if u asked me.. n even if u do, u mite get yr head bitten off in a flash.. hey, i did say i'm hungry!! and a hungry woman is an angry woman.. no, correction.. a hungry-sleep-deprived-wit-body-achin-all-over-stuck-wit-a-yucky-sucky-roster-too-lazy-to-haf-a-life-tryin-desperately-to-save-n-sorely-missin-her-bf woman is an angry woman... fer sure! yessssirreeeee!
be warned one n all!!!

®juz had a chat wit harlz.. she n salz r goin fer dinner like now n asked me along.. miss em girls!! n there's talk of zinc later tonite.. i really wanna go out n all but i juz can't shake off dis veg-mode of mine.. i miss hangin out wit frenz, juz havin fun.. girly talks et all.. actin crazy.. really miss dat.. i do... but rite now, i juz wanna rot.. there's nothin wrong wit anyone.. i'm not avoidin anyone n i dun even haf a gd excuse fer my behaviour.. it's juz me... sorry... *shrugs* fer those who noe me betta, n haf been in my life fer long enuf, u shld noe wat i'm talkin abt... juz one of those phases.. albeit dragged on fer much too long now... sheeesh....

wait fer me?

2007-01-31T23:39:00.000+04:00

I WILL BE RIGHT HERE WAITING FOR YOU

Oceans apart, day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice, on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
how can we say forever

(chorus)
Wherever you go, whatever you do
I will be right here, waiting for you
Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all The times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh can't you see it baby,
You've got me going crazy

(chorus)

I wonder how we can survive, this romance
But in the end if I'm with you, I'll take the chance

Oh you can't see it baby
You've got me going crazy

(chorus)

® funny how some songs really suit your mood at a particular moment in your life.. n how e words are juz so apt to wat or how u're feelin.. in dis case, i can so imagine mr007 dedicatin dis one to me... heh.. not shy!! i mean, i'm not exaclty e one doin e waitin but seriously, e first few lines of e song totally reflects our situation.. in fact, evry sentence in it, i can relate to.. cldn't haf put it any betta! it's juz so spot-on, i swear i cld haf written it myself... n e vid? u noe i noe u noe.... *muakz*

same same but different.. =P

2007-01-30T22:19:00.000+04:00

we're e same..
i feel wat u feel
i want wat u want
n i definitely need wat u need
sometimes, i even tink wat u tink
believe me, i get weak too
tho i haf my moments,
when i find myself refusin to give in to dat dreadful dread
n i hold my ground, standin firm, not givin in to e pain
when i'm down, u pull me up
n when it's your turn, trust me to be there by your side
or, when i'm too high up amongst e cloud, u hold me down n bring me right back to earth;
where we belong
juz as i'd do, wit u;
heaven is after all a place on earth
wheneva u're around; that is
dun get me wrong, we're not clones of each other
mirror images? not even close..
we do haf our differences
here n there
still,
we're e same..
you & i
both

®thru it all, we ARE e hottest, rite?! hurhurhur...

had to do dis..

2007-01-29T23:43:00.000+04:00

Lyrics: John Legend - Save Room
Album: Once Again

Say That You'll Stay A Little
Don't Say Bye Bye Tonight
Say You'll Be Mine Just A Little Bit Of Love
Is Worth A Moment Of Your Time
Knocking On Your Door Just A Little
So Cold Outside Tonight
Lets Get A Fire Burning
Oh I Know Ill Keep It Burning Bright If You Stay
Won't You Stay
Stay

[Chorus:]
Save Room For My Love
Save Room For The Moment To Be With Me
Save Room For My Love
Save A Little Save A Little For Me
Won't You Save A Little
Save A Little For Me Ohhh

This Just Might Hurt A Little
Love Hurts Sometime When You Do It Right
Dont Be Afraid Of A Little Bit Of Pain
Pleasure Is On The Other Side
Let Down Your Guard Just A Little
Ill Keep You Safe In These Arms Of Mine
Hold On To Me Pretty Baby You Will See
I Can Be All You Need If You Stay
Won't You Stay
Stay

[Chorus:]
Save Room For My Love
Save Room For The Moment To Be With Me
Save Room For My Love
Save A Little Save A Little For Me
Won't You Save A Little
Save A Little For Me Ohhh

Bah Da Ba Baaa [x3]
Da Da Daaa

Ohhh Come On
Make Time To Live A Little
Dont Let This Moment Slip By Tonight
Youll Never Know What Your Missing Til You Try
Ill Keep You Satisfied If You Stay
Won't You Stay
Stay

[Chorus x2: Second Time Fades]
Save Room For My Love
Save Room For The Moment To Be With Me
Save Room For My Love
Save A Little Save A Little For Me
Won't You Save A Little
Save A Little For Me Ohhh

®wuz crammin fer my recurrent while listenin to songs.. suddenly took a liking to dis song.. din quite fancy it when i first heard it den.. but juz realised how nice e lyrics were.. tinkin of u... u noe who u are.. *winkz*.. a big wet MUAKZ for u baby..
p.s: e lyrics totally reminds me of our other song.. ehemz.. our first song.. siiiiiggghhh....
doesn't help dat anuar zain's song's currently playin... damnnnn...
i miss you........

2yrs n countin...

2007-01-26T23:35:00.000+04:00

past midnite, it'll mark e 2yrs since i left home n came over here to dubz..

big whoop-dee-dooop.....

angerrr

2007-01-08T20:06:00.000+04:00

Your Wrath Quotient: 22%

Sometimes you get really angry, but nothing out of the norm.
While you may wish someone harm, it's pretty unlikely that you'd actually do anything about it.

How Much Wrath Do You Have?

You Are 32% Angry

You're occasionally angry, but it's really not an issue.
While you may give in to your temper once and a while, you're pretty mellow.
And as long as your anger doesn't effect your relationships, then it's probably in check.
You know that anger is a bad habit - and you don't engage in it often.

How Angry Are You?

®blogthings juz proved dat i dun actually need those courses... maybe dat someone kind enuf cld get me health supplements or some gingko biloba?? i'm always sick n i'm super forgetful nowadays.. so yeah.. anyone?? hehehehe...

eeearrrrggghhh...

2007-01-08T16:28:00.000+04:00

eeeeaaarrrghggghhh!!!!! i seriously tink i need anger management courses.. anyone kind enuf to sponsor??

juz fyi..

2007-01-07T00:06:00.000+04:00

sometimes u tink u noe evrythin abt someone but u really dun... i doubted myself wheneva ppl haf doubts n i feel guilty n bad wheneva i'm doubted... i noe no one means to make me feel guilty but it's juz me.. i feel bad easily.. n it's juz not fair dat i'm allowed to feel dat way while in actual fact i really shldn't.. it's not nice to make someone feel so lousy juz becoz u feel lousy, rite? wateva happened, happened.. dat wuz e past n shall remain so.. no matter how much u tink n dwell on it, it's not gonna change a single thing.. it only serves to add excess baggage upon yrself.. so, dat's y dey coined e phrase 'move on..'.. if u can't let go of e past n continue livin in it instead, u're not exactly tryin to live in e present afterall.. den how can u qualify to tink abt e future? i mean, how can u look forward to e future if u're always lookin back in e days gone by? take it all as a lesson learnt.. sayin things doesn't necessarily make it come true.. it takes conscious effort n willpower.. to werk on yr mistakes n to stop lookin back.. it really isn't fair when u take out yr insecurities on someone else who hasn't even got anythin to do wit it all; now is it? it'll only drag evryone down.. n hence effectively startin a whole vicious cycle.. u need to take life wit a pinch of salt.. not evrythin comes wit an ultimatum... take it easy.. no point gettin worked out over evry single thing.. u'd kill yrself wit a heart-attack b4 u noe it.. pardon me fer bein sucha free-spirit, but life has a way of sortin things out.. plus, there's so many others out there who'd kill to be in yr shoes.. n i've personally seen em wit my own 2 eyes.. u juz dun realise how gd u've got it goin..

i noe i'm not an angel myself n neva once did i pretend to be one.. if i unwittingly came across as tryin to be an angel, i'm sorry.. my mistake.. i'm juz bein me, so if anyone wans to pass their judgements, be my guest!! at least i noe i'm secure wit bein myself (at least i try to be.. hahahah!!!) n i dun resort to throwin my angst to innocent parties... evryone has their own way of dealin wit things, n i choose to take things easier than most ppl.. sure, i trust ppl easily, but i believe evryone's innocent til proven otherwise.. if u dun agree wit dat, so be it.. no one's expectin u to.. juz like dat phrase 'fool me once, shame on you.. fool me twice, shame on me..' plus, i strongly believe wat goes ard come ard.. i'm not all hippy-like, void of fears or worries.. i'm only human... i do haf my fears n worries but i dun let it get e best of me.. oh, n i do have emotions too.. lately, it's been anger, frustration, hurt, etc... if i'm angry, i juz need to be left alone.. i'll cool down really quickly if i dun haf anyone breathin down my neck, pushin me, expectin things to be normal.. i mean, i can't possibly haf a normal conversation wit someone juz minutes after dey made me pissed off rite? dat'll be so hypocritical.. fer me, if i refuse to talk to u, u'd betta noe wat u did/say wrong.. n juz let me be.. i'll be fine soon after.. n i mite even buy u ice-cream (i'd lick it first tho.. muahahaha *evil grinz*)

so, i decided; maybe ppl juz dun noe me well enuf.. here's a lil list of sthgs abt me.. juz fyi (fer yr info):
(not in any particular order)
* i hate repeatin myself
* i hate ppl repeatin emselves i.e.nagging
* i hate bein told wat to do
* i hate bein told how to tink
* i hate bein pushed
* i hate guilt trips
* i hate depressin stuff
* i hate bein forced
* i hate bein doubted
* i hate convincin ppl
* i hate bein angry
* i hate havin an attitude
* i hate bein lied to
* i hate bein used
* i hate ppl usin others
* i hate usin others
* i hate bein patronized
* i hate lazy ppl
* i hate ppl who tink-dey-noe-it-all
* i hate pointin out e obvious
* i hate it when ppl ASS-U-ME
* i hate ppl who disrespect others
* i hate ppl talkin bad abt my those i adore
* i hate ppl being all judgmental
* i hate insecure ppl (be it gfs/bfs/wateva)
* i hate waitin too long
* i hate crowds
* i hate it when things dun go my way
* i hate serious stuff
* i hate it dat i'm not dat emotional..
* i hate regrets
* i hate wars
* i hate overboard cases of ignorance
* i hate violence (esp against women/children/helpless ones)
* i hate hypocrites (in all aspect of e word)
* i hate dbl standards
* i hate hating so much stuff

but there are sthgs i luv as well...
(again, not in any particular order)
* i love my cat
* i love my family
* i love my frenz
* i love my roomies
* i love my bf
* i love my so-called life (it cld haf been worse)
* i love bein positive
* i love bein bimbotic
* i love bling-blingssss
* i love e colours gold, pink, white, deeeeep red
* i love laughin n jokin ard n bein crazy
* i love bein happy
* i love enjoyin life
* i love havin no worries, bein carefree.. HAKUNA MATATA!! (afterall, u only live once)
* i love cartoons
* i love music
* i love fireworks
* i love knowin things
* i love bein told secrets (n of coz keepin em.. my lips are sealed!)
* i love being right
* i love sweet stuff
* i love chocolates of coz! gimme those hot n meltin ones anytime man!!!
* i love frangipani/plumeria/ghost flower
* i love e beach
* i love hummers
* i love watchin loving old couples
* i love cute n well-behaved babies
* i love cam-whorin
* i love shoppin (sometimes by myself)
* i love indulgin in my own thots (yes, i do tink too..)
* i love singing to myself (esp when i'm stressed.. u all shld try it too)
* i love good food
* i love bein lazy
* i love e rain
* i love snugglin under e covers in e rain especially
* i love bein contradicting
* i love havin someone play wit my hair
* i love bein showered wit affection, not too much tho..
* i love being hugged
* i love bein told i'm hot (hahahahaha!! it's healthy to haf yr ego boosted once in a while okie?)
* i love havin my own space
* i love takin my time
* i love bein independent
* i love havin someone to depend on (yeah, yeah.. contradicting..)
* i love bein me.. in fact, i adore me! wit all my flaws n wat-not, i still luv me... n nothin or no one's gonna change dat

®sometimes, i feel so lousy dat no one really noes me.. but does evryone even noe their own selves? as long as i noe me, myself, i, i'd be happy.. i dun need anyone to tell me wat dey tink of me n i dun appreciate bein dragged down along towards depression.. den again, evrything takes time, no? we'll see.. wish me luck in findin myself!! =P

same shit, different year..

2007-01-06T20:30:00.000+04:00

WELCOME ABOARD 2007!!!

so, it's day 6 of e new yr.. hmmm.. doesn't feel much different.. all alone at home, nikki's gone fer colombo n den niza got pulled out fer some unknown flgt... haven't paid e tv bill thingy so pretty much left wit nothin to do.. sighhh... as i was sayin, e fact that it's oredi 2007 seems like no biggie at all.. i mean, reflectin back on last yr's resolution i made, i doubt i even managed to fulfil any of it at all.. so, my resolution dis yr is to not make any.. muahahahahaha!!!!!

den again, new yrs are all so over-rated... in fact, dis yr seemed like it's off wit a bad start.. i'm sick, i've got debts yet to be settled n doesn't help at all dat e old me, e one wit e attitude, is so makin a comeback.. as in, when me n him argue, e me dat i hate, emerges n certainly doesn't help make e situation betta.. but it's funny how he hates e old him which comes out durin our arguments as well.. wat can i say? we bring out e best outta each other?! rrrite.. but seriously, been arguin more than often.. n i hate it.. coz i end up feelin depressed by e end of it n i hate bein depressed.. i like to tink of it all bein a bed of roses.. i mean, i noe e world's not all fine n dandy but it's juz e way i operate.. i like to focus on e light n ignore e darkness of e tunnel i'm in.. so yeah, i hate serious talks.. so not my forte.. newayz, mummy n daddy juz called.. surprisingly e fonecards are still werkin but i kinda got annoyed at one point.. when mummy kept pointin out e fact dat my hp bill's in e thousand range.. i mean, we all oredi noe by now dat i'm kickin myself in e arse fer losin my sim card, so i dun really need to be reminded all e time... now i'm feelin bad fer showin her e attitude as well.. damnit woman!!! get a grip!!! stop throwin yr frustrations to ppl who care.. damnit!!!! okie, i said i'm not gonna make any resolution rite? well, i've juz decided.. i hafta so stop dis attitude thingy.. dat's my problem n i admit it so i hafta start werkin on it.. i do realise dat i tend to throw my tantrums to ppl who really care n it seems like i really tend to take ppl fer granted.. thing is, i do realise it's wrong but i juz dunno how to stop.. sheeeesh... i need treatment!!! *callin mummy now.. wanna apologise... geeeeez*

okie.. got dat outta e way... feel a lil betta now.. heh heh.. i'm sucha bad person... sheesh...

only highlight durin dis transition of years wuz e fact dat i managed to get e swap thru fer e sinz-colombo flgt.. so i wuz in sinz fer new yr!! whoop-dee-doooo... not much of a countdown coz we were too late to go out n catch e fireworks.. i mean, we did manage to catch em fm e room but view wuz blocked by e swisshotel so din really get a gd show.. sigh... i wish i cld haf fireworks fer my weddin... *dreamy*.. hahahaha.. dream on babe! only much later did we go out, meet up wit farz n e rest at marina bay b4 headin fer zouk.. can u believe e club wuz opened til noon dat day?! holy guacamole rite? imagine those ppl hard-core inside til noon... surely zombified sia!! hahahahaha... dat'd definitely be a sight to behold.. =) ran into joanne as we were leavin n dat lucky bitch's actually left e company fer gd since november lah... lucky lucky biatch... hmph... anotha one bites e dust...

oh, n not to forget, nadz wuz on my flgt lah.. at least he wasn't actin all weird n all.. i mean, we were bein civilised, talked a bit here n there n dat wuz it.. it's gd dat i did dis flgt coz at least i noe fer sure dat he's so outta my system lah.. no point freakin out prior to dat.. heh heh... but honestly, it felt weird on my part to actually see him in person after all dat's happened.. n it's a miracle neither of us were on each other's throats!! as in, tryin to kill one anotha.. in fact, we all had dinner at e same table(met zie at e lobby.. dat girl wuz on e other colombo flgt n boy did i hug her good!! missed her sooo terribly much man!!!) n even went to courtney's room fer some drinks n music.. usual shit.. e fact dat we cld be in e same room wit e same crowd n nothin happened, felt really good.. had a great time despite me bein sick.. left earlier wit zie coz her wake-up call wuz way in e mornin.. oh, did i mention dinner wuz fabolous?!?

me n zie totally pigged out.. we had like 5 dishes between e 2 of us n we certainly cleaned out e plates.. 2 serving of rice each n i can so rememba those angmohs girls starin fm e other end in disbelief n to a certain extent, disgust.. (especially e irish girl, blatantly gapin at us devourin our food... BITCH!) but we din care.. food wuz good, i had her, she had me.. we even had space fer dessert despite bein left behind by evryone else!! there we were, juz e 2 of us, happily satiated.. n, we still had our delifrance take-away we got while waitin fer e meal to be served.. kwahkwahkwah.... piggies!!! *oink oink*

some partin shots... some pics mite explain e disgust on e faces of those angmohs biatches.. LOL!!!!

®newayz, sthg wrong wit e net again... been tryin to upload pics but always network error shit.. i'm so losin my patience lah.. doesn't help dat e medicines i took are makin me feel a bit woozy... hmmm... honestly, i tink there's too much my pent-up frustrations in me dat when i lose it, i lose it all.. almost all.. n it's so not healthy lah.. i tink i betta stop now, e medicines' doin e talkin..

..phoneys..

2006-12-29T18:47:00.000+04:00

newayz, mummy n daddy (actin cute there) called again today.. daddy's on his quest to use up all his old-skool telephone cards coz e gvmt's phasin out those public phones.. he's got 2days to go n still has like few hundreds worth of cards to utilise... i can so imagine him goin thru his treasured albums, meticulously arranged accordin to e series n value.. must be painful fer him to find out dey're of no worth after dis yr... still rememba those days when i tried to start my own collection, albeit used cards, n den comparin my stash wit his.. of coz mine wuz far inferior.. but hmmm, since he's usin his to call me here, i can add em to my stack!!! muahahaha!! *evil glint in e eye*
but really, i feel sad fer him, i mean i noe how much it meant to him n how proud he wuz of his collection... been tryin so hard to finish em up instead of lettin e money go down e drain juz liddat... despite e pourin rain n all, dey've been callin me almost evryday... so touched.. *sobz*
he even tried to call jeremy but been futile so far.. n daddy's frustrated n all cute when he tried imitatin e french recordin machine voice thingy... hahahah! but i oso can't help much coz i lost jeremy's number effectively when i dropped my fone in dat god-forsaken bowl.. n he hasn't replied to my e-mails so far.. so yeah... e only option's to call me fm e fone booths at e void decks-so bangla lah!!! hahahaha...

but at least it werks.. i mean, e $2 cards finishes in mere seconds!! dun understand why phone calls hafta be so freakin ex tho!! sheesh...

see http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/printfriendly/0,4139,116734,00.html

newayz, daddy said sthg dat made me feel so mighty guilty.. he kept askin when i'm comin back n all n i insisted e roster's not out yet.. den he wuz like 'if u're eva ard in town, juz drop by okie? few minutes oso enuf.. '.. n he said it in a sorta pleadin tone kinda thing... made me wonder if dey noe i will be in town in 2days' time.. u noe how parents noe things.. well, yeah, i officially am on a guilt-trip rite now.. eeeearghh!!! i so hate dis kinda feelin lah!!!!!!

yday today tmr...??

2006-12-29T17:25:00.000+04:00

tinkin of havin dinner outside but e weather's been so gloomy it makes me feel so lazy.. oh, wait a minute, i AM lazy in essence.. hahaha!!! had dinner at la piazza n den followed by 'deja vu' yday at e mall.. wit nikki, mazenz n jadz.. no one even knew it wuz jadz' bifday!!! felt so bad... but we did ask fer a candle on e dessert we were havin.. tho dey placed it on mazen's fondant instead!! so mazenz had a taste of jadz' saliva.. yummmmmy!!!! hahahaha... nothin compared to me findin a strand of hair in my filet when i wuz nearly 2/3 done wit it... e guys asked to return it to e chef but i refused coz i wasn't even sure if it wuz mine... i mean, it wuz blonde wit kinda black roots... so... hmmm.... den after much waste of brain juice no tanx to e movie, we crashed at mazenz' fer mr & mrs smith... angelina is bloody hot!! period! it wuz much needed light-hearted entertainment after dat deeeeep show in e theatre... i mean, yeah, so u can travel in time.. but where will e past u be then? i mean, wat happens if u run into e 'old' u? n if u change e past, u're wipin out e future dat u came fm, as in, u wipe out e events of dat future.. n den u'd not even be in e past in e first place? coz by changin e past, e present's re-written as well.. n dat mite include e events leadin to u travellin back in e first place.. okie okie, i shldn't even be dwellin too much into it, it IS a movie after all.. hence i hate all these kinda shows involvin time travel...

mazenz n nikki tried to simplify it fer me, e dumb blonde.. so, wat we see is all a reflection fm e light.. n if we came up wit a device dat can actually reflect faster than e speed of light as we noe it, we'd be able to see wat's to happen in e future.. but, here's e catch.. u can't change a thing.. simply becoz it's all reflections.. of wat light bounced off fm.. n if dat's e case den, does dat mean e future's happenin at dis very moment? juz dat i hafta wait fer light to bounce it off to be able to see it? so does dat mean as well dat as i'm havin all these thots, i'm in e past? wat's e present den??? so how many me(s) are there at dis very moment?? wat abt e sensory feelins i'm havin.. in wat space of time are dey in?! past? present? future? eeeeeargggh!!!!!!!!!!

®i'm juz a cabin crew... dun do dis to me!!! =P gimme my brainless flicks anytime!!
p.s:happy belated bifday jado!!!!!!! *hugggz*

double-takes!

2006-12-29T17:20:00.000+04:00

before this yr ends.. i hafta share e biggest scare i had in dubz...

it creeped e bejeezers out of me.. it scared me shitless.. here, in dubz..

®by scared, i dun mean i'm scared scared of him, more of like i had shudders down my spine after bein stunned, like i got shot by one of those tazer-guns u noe... it's not like a phobia, more of like an allergy n wat e hell wuz-i-tinkin kinda remorse...

...the epitome of true love...

2006-12-28T12:36:00.000+04:00

a seriously super duper long overdue entry!!!

dat's e hot couple of qusais.. hahahaha... how glam... nah, really, dat's e wonderful couple, who recently got hitched, not really recently per se but yeah.. dey took e walk down e aisle on e 9th dis mth.. it wuz a beautiful reception.. my first.. hehehe.. totally felt butterflies in my tummy as i saw em walk past e table to their 'throne'... aaaawww.... a bit sad i din take more pictures, as in i din even take a solo pic wit em but i figured the other guests probly see em lesser than i do so yeah, give others a chance.. hahahahah... see how nice i am.. =P

well, sat wit e other ek girls, diana wuz there but nani wasn't.. so miss dat girl.. sigh.. newayz, nnic joined a bit later as well, wit her kenneth.. poor ross tho, waited fer me coz i wuz late n den he wuz in a table far away, sittin by himself.. but i tink he knew some guy there so it wasn't all dat bad.. hahaha... best part is, him n HIM realised dey're sorta neighbours.. livin like opposite blocks or sthg liddat.. hahaha.. freakin small werld i tell u.. n den he wuz off back to kl again.. can't believe he actually flew in.. hahahaha!! juz like e cruises' weddin ah.. ppl flyin in fm all ard u noe... LOL!!!

den, e hot couple strolled in, military-weddin n all... so perfect.. he looked smart n she wuz all gorgeous.. *flutterin hearts*.. walkin under e swords.. n to top it off, he carried her to e 'throne'... how more perfect can it get?!? of coz, e video montage e best man n maid-of-honour prepared wuz absolutely sweet... i mean, true, i get easily excited but it bein my best fren's weddin, (sorta.. not like e movie tho) i wuz totally absorbin evry moment of it.. n den, there wuz micheal buble's song dat lin especially wanted fer dat day.. aaaw.. i must say, it's exactly how a weddin shld be.. perfect...

n of coz, e food wuz nice too.. first time i had eel.. n i'm afraid it'll be e last as well.. hahahaha... den, we, as in me n him n nikki n keneth totally printed out pics on e photo-printers found on e recep table.. kwahkwah.. i had a great time.. den we had to rush to change fer zoukout.. tho i felt it wuz still way too early n we had so much time to kill.. n of coz i wuz rite... sheeesh.. dun even lemme start wit dat zoukout.. real letdown.. tsk tsk.....

® e flower girls all looked cute n adorable but lin, i'm sure i'd make a hotter one... kwahkwahkwah!!!!

hi-bye!

2006-12-27T13:28:00.000+04:00

gosh... it's been ages hasn't it? so a quick update... i called sick fer mauritius.. only becoz e flgt i wanted to take on e 16th were all closed due to over-bookin... so, next flgt available wuz only e day after, which wun make be of any gd simply coz by e time i reach dubz, my flgt'll be gone oredi.. so i did wat i did... hahah.. i mean, dunno if anyone else wld do wat i did, but yeah.. so i bought myself anotha 3days in sinz.. *evil grinz* but, i haf a legitimate mc, black n white proof of my aCUTE asthma... hahaha.. even my sickness can be CUTE, like me... =P

no time to update much now, yet again... hahaha... gonna meet up wit min.. she needs to go shoppin.. surprisingly, i'm a bit hesitant... kwahkwah... must buy 4D lah!!!!!!!!

® am i dat hard to trust? i hate convincin ppl.. period

bintan bintan bintan!!!

2006-12-10T05:11:00.000+04:00

at macd's...in siglap.. so blardy tired ah... zoukout wuz okie okie.. thot we were gonna stay e thru e whole thing but in e end we left ard 6 i tink... all squeezed into yanaz' car.. hahahahah... played a lotta silly games tho, at one point i laughed so hard til i almoz had stitches!! =P but yeah, dat's juz my summarised version of e nite... oh, n b4 dat, went fer lin-lin's weddin... so gorgeous lah she!!!! met up wit ross, who wuz so poor thing.. sat alone in e other table... me n him were at e table wit diana, adora n claire.. nani din turn up.. =( but during e buffet, ran into nnic n her kenneth... sat em togetha on our table.. heheheh... n den julianna came wit her bf n had to go to e other table.. oopsie! newayz, will upload pics when im back in dubz..my brain so not functionin rite now, lack of sleep, n bein distracted by him sittin rite beside me while bloggin... sigh~ hahahaha... honeymoon period lah katakan... kwahkwahkwah... omg!! e game is still fresh in my mind lah.. sampai terbawak-bawak... hahahahahah!!! okie, okie.. gtg... my baby's so left out.. will ceeya soon!! not too soon lah since ill be back only ard e 16th.. heh...
~toodles!

greetins fm sinz..

2006-12-06T17:51:00.000+04:00

okie... seems like evrytime i come back to sinz, sthg bad happens... first, i dropped my hp in e toilet bowl. n now i juz realised i lost my bloody m1 sim card n some fool in dubz actually had e cheek to make $800 worth of calls!!!!! in sinz dollars!!!! wtf!?!?! so, yeah, all my numbers are gone fer gd, so those of u who happens to read this pls update me wit yr contacts yah?

sinz, here i come!!!

2006-12-03T12:00:00.000+04:00

things to do today:

* go to e airport, collect my cash..
* get gifts
* take sab's baju fm naif
* meet up wit lin fer her gown
* change tix fer tmr
* collect nnic's luggage fm vicky
* pack!!!!!

den off to sinz!!! (followed by getaway at mayang sari.. excited!!! =P)

things to do while in sinz:

* find attire fer lin's weddin
* get her gift (hur hur hur)
* take absolut fm carlton
* go zoukout
* pack fer bintan
* meet up wit hao n gang
* meet anyone available fer some serious catchin up
* give lots of lovin to babydarlin (me kitty)
* buy vitasoy to replace nnic's
* buy loads of groceries
* pass sab her bajus
* get hp?
* try to squeeze in some sleep somehow....

keepin my fingers crossed pinky luggy's gonna be wit me all e way to sinz.. hahahah... anyhoos, after bintan, back to sinz n den back here on e 16th hopefully.. heh... den off to mauritius.. yeay!!!!!

® so scared i'm somehow gonna screw up dis holiday of mine... sheesh... so worried, to e point i juz realised i've been gnawin e insides of my mouth... sheeesh... chill, woman!

deja vu?

2006-12-01T02:34:00.000+04:00

hah!! instead of goin fer birmy, i ended up doin khartoum! so freakingly deja vu!! i mean, exactly last yr, in nov 05, i got marked absent fer a birmy coz i mistook e timin fer e flgt.. today, no tanx to e freakin traffic, i wuz late (2nd time dis wk!!!! eeargh!!!) n once more got taken off dat flgt!!! i tink i'm so not fated to go there anymore ah! but it's not all dat bad.. first of all, flew wit unklerick.. hahahah... missed dat dude.. n den, i've got a day off on e 2nd.. n now it's my rest day! hahahahaha... shiooook!!! hopefully schedulin approves dat bloody swap fer e heathrow thingy.. yeay!!! time to wash up now.. nitez!!!!

wat's been up..

2006-11-24T15:23:00.000+04:00

so, i wuz sayin yday dat so much's happened since i last blogged.. well, my reserve's officially over.. i can reclaim my so-called life now!! yeay!!! i wasn't expectin much after bein pulled out fer 2 dhakas, one after anotha.. but e last flgt i got called out fer totally made up fer it all.. i got a sin-jakarta-colombo.. tho it wuz a mere 24hrs stay in sinz, e crew were all nice, almoz all, n i had a great time in colombo.. not kiddin u.. i mean, yeah, colombo, of all places? but i did haf fun.. =)
we went shoppin, had dinner by e beach which wld haf had been beautiful if not fer e monsoon rain!!! 9 of us braved e downpour to get to dat seafood place n were havin a gd time when we were suddenly under attack!!! by flyin roaches!!!!!!! hahahaa... disgustin really, but tank god i had oredi finished my meal.. heh.... den, desserts in e hotel lobby, b4 checkin out e in-house club.. so tacky lah dat one!!! called e library.. so, when e manager came over to us to inform dat 'e library is now open', i wuz like, why is he tellin us dat? do i look like i'm in e mood fer books? LOL!!!!!! it was tacky only becoz dey had balloons all over e floor, like some sorta 5-yr old's bday party.. n since it wuz ladies' nite, there were these 2dudes, bodybuilders i s'pose, in juz a collar n pants.. no shirts.. funny part wuz when dey started shimmyin on e dance floor, i mean, it wuz more of a bodybuildin-flexin-moves rather than dancin... gosh!! dey must haf thot they were god's gift to womankind!! puh-lease!!! we were like all laffin our heads off at em... kekekeke...

den, only 4 of us left fer H2O, dis apparently most happenin club in all of colombo... got VIP treatment, as soon as we came in, dey'd actually let us haf a reserved table juz coz we were fm emirates.. sweet!!! n e dj even made a special announcement to welcome us.. e place wuz not too bad, i really liked it but e crowd leaves much to be desired.. dey were all juz standin ard e dance floor, millin abt... not too happenin, dudes!!!!! but we hit e dancefloor newayz, in a bid to entertain those folks n it wuz nice since there wuz not much ppl on it n we had so much space to show off our moves... kwahkwah!!!!! den, headed back n watched 'saw 3' on bahraini ali's lappy... me, hamidah, wael n ali... nite-owls sia!!! some more e movie rather gory n there we were, went back to our rooms only ard 5am-ish?!? surprised i had sucha gd sleep considerin e movie we juz indulged in.. hahahaha... i tell u, i tink i'm so de-sensitised to all these horror shows.. dey dun haf as much effect on me as dey used to.. maybe after certain experiences, u tend to be more cool abt it all.. heh...

newayz, when i came back to dubz after dat flgt, i had sucha bad food poisonin.. swear i thot i wuz dyin!!! broke out in cold sweat while sleepin n had to keep runnin to e loo... passed motion til there wuz no motion.. puked even!!! til there wuz nothin left in my guts.. felt so lifeless n weak.. tank god harlz came downstairs to accompany me, made porridge fer me n juz chilled, watchin tv... wuz s'posed to go zinc dat nite lah, wit e crew off dat last flgt but i figured rushin to e loo evry 5mins in e club wun be much of a turn-on... so, i still haf yet to step foot in dat club!!!! n i tink i'm like e last person to do so lah!!!! sheeesh...

well, 2nites agos, us roomies had a horror movie screenin after midnite... we caught 'an american hauntin'.. it's not dat spooky lah.. sure, there were moments when we gasped in shock n all but e ghost not even scary lah... or maybe as i said, i'm not dat wussy anymore.. hahahahahaha.... in fact, tanx to dat movie, i slept too soundly to wake up in time to call sick yday.. damnit!!!!

so now, am on standby 2.. still ard 6hrs plus to go... damnnnnnn.....

but all's well, got my PINKY luggage.. n my webbycammy... n those chargers.... n my bags!!!!!!!!
~bliss~

cairo n back..

2006-11-23T20:08:00.000+04:00

well, a whole load has been happenin lately... in fact, i juz came back fm cbc.. in wat's to be e best cairo flgt eva, simply becoz i din go fer it!! hahahaha... first of all, wuz s'posed to call sick but woke up too late fer dat n woke up in shock n had to get ready fer pick-up... unfortunately, no tanx to e traffic, wuz even later fer signin in n they'd oredi removed me off e flgt.. wuz prepared to go home but e briefin dude told me to stay on n so i had to do a 4hrs airport standby.. which wuz fine by me so long as i dun get pulled out... which of coz wuz exactly wat happened.. but e shittiest part of it all is dat those sneaky bastards at crew schedulin put me on standby 2 tmr, startin at 10am n ends at 10pm... n i can't call sick fer dat coz if i do, i risk gettin my manila removed as well!!! n i wuz so lookin forward to manila!!! shoppin!!!!!!!! n e thing is, even if i do get called out fer a flgt durin e standby tmr, i mite still end up bein illegal to do manila, coz i'd haf less than minimum rest!!! so, i've really got myself in a rut... i've officially fucked myself up!!!! eeeaaarrrggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! damn damn damn.... n juz when i thot murphy's left me...

oh, juz fer y'alls info... i've got my PINKY back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! after wat seems like eternity... well, if eternity's a mth, it was!! hahahaha... but yeah, got my luggage back yday... tank god!!! wuz almoz gonna give up but when e lady called in e mornin, sayin dey'd found a luggage similar to mine, i wuz so excited.. i mean, how many pink luggages get lost neways? sheeeesh...

okie, i betta go change.. haven't even take out e stockins lah... n no, it's not smelly.. din haf e chance to be.. c'mon, how tough wuz it to be sittin n waitin in e cbc.. i certainly din break a sweat, unless u consider e metaphorical ones wheneva dey called out e others on standby.. in fact, i made myself so comfy, had my white coffee... smoked tuna salad... oooh, dat wuz really yummy btw... took off my shoes n even had a bit of a shut-eye... printed out my annual leave tix.. even managed to do a bit of retail therapy at e crew shop.. hahahahah.... a rather fruitful standby i must say... =P

wat?!?!?!

2006-11-15T13:24:00.000+04:00

juz had a 'lunch date' wit ahmed.. my manager.. n, i found out i haf 6 absents!!! since when?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

murphy who?

2006-11-10T12:57:00.000+04:00

let's be chronological n lemme start fm 2days ago... well, had airport standby at 6am til 9am.. but tank god i din get pulled out.. out of like 8 of us, only me n dis otha indian dude got sent home.. i'm so not complainin lah.. coz i wuz oredi sayin, gimme sinz or nothin... LOL!!! gansta bitch hey? i'm startin to like airport standby coz its a time fer u to mingle wit ppl u barely see after werkin on a flgt togetha... so there i wuz, wit my cuppa(s) coffee, initially fallin asleep, readin a book n den it seems like i knew almoz evryone goin fer flgts lah... felt so popular all of a sudden.. kwahkwah... so in my own world lah.. had to abandon e book n 'socialise' a bit.. heh... den, as sudden as it happened, it all went quiet again... sheesh... decided to indulge in some texttwist n simon chan-a purser i flew wit, came over n chat, n he thot i had been busy sms-in e whole while... hahahah.. i'm sooo addicted to dis game lah... wheneva i'm free, texttwist... first thing i wake up, texttwist... when i'm on e throne.., textwist? LOL!!!!! coz not!!! so newayz, been missin out on a lotta action.. eva since zinc reopened, i haf not stepped foot in it!! so kental sia!!!! but i've been sick n not to mention, broke... hehehehe... harlz, salz n rosh went on mon.. apparently dey saw some ppl n it wuz a happenin nite dat brought out dat brought out their bitchy sides.. so wished i had gone lah!!! missed out on some gd action there.. damnit!!! n on tues, i received a msg fm nadz, 'goin to zink wanna join?'... dat wuz sucha big-time turn-off lah dude!!! u dun even noe how to spell zinc?!? or is dat e way dey spell it now after e reno works?!? i dun tink so!!! sheesh... dat's sad...

newayz, slept e whole day after e standby n lyndz wuz s'posed to come.. dat woman, poor thing, depressed.. so wanna meet her lah but e fact dat her place's like halfway to abu dhabi oredi always makes me tink twice... i mean, headin there probly costs close to 40dhms n not to mention e way back.. gawd simon!! why'd u haf to be cruel n separate us liddat?!?! aaargh!!!!! well, she din turn up here coz she wuz drownin her sorrows.. poor poor baby... hang in there babe.. i can't be there but i'll always be here okie? n once i get some dough, i'd even travel to oman juz to meet u.. heh heh... luv u sharmuti! *muakz* sigh~

well, had lin-lin,diana n harlz over last nite... girls' nite in... funny women lah dey all... i had e whole house to myself but dey chose to eat in my room... picnic of sorts.. dey ordered nando's.. wuz so tempted but i had oredi eaten.. not to mention, i'm sorta tryin to discipline myself fm gorgin all e time.. tanx ah ppl!! den, popped some popcorn, a bowl of choc flavored n e other, light butter... a cuppa lipton milk tea each, n we were veggin out in front of e tv, watchin 'save e last dance 2'.. n as e movie proved, once u go black, u can neva go back!!!! LOL!!!!! din like e actress dat much tho.. as in she din haf e edge julia stiles had.. she wuz oso one of em coyote ugly girls.. izabella miko...found out she's polish.. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! coz last nite, when we saw e credits, i wuz like confidently sayin, 'oh miko? japanese ah? no wonder she looked like devon aoki a bit'... LOL!!!!!!!! but, she kept remindin me of suz!!! yes, KOKO.. U!! as in her facial features lah.. n e fairness... n e skinniness... n e ehemz, hotness... (okie, u owe me dinner fer dat!) =P or maybe it's juz me lah... hehehehe...

sorry guys, e pics dun do justice at all... =/

®in boredom-kingdom rite now.. i'm sucha bore dat i bore myself.. but den, when i'm havin fun, i wldn't noe how to stop.. u noe me, when i go out, it fer days on end.. day after day of partyin..my life comes in phases n rite now my best fren's dat murphy dude who came up wit dat stupid law...... sigh~

freaky-leaky!!!!

2006-11-07T16:00:00.000+04:00

so sick rite now.. really!! neva bluff one... sigh.... tink i'm allergic to dubz now lah.. kwahkwah... well, been so long since i last doodled over here.. wasn't in e mood lah... been rottin at home fer e past doggone days... haven't even stepped outside unless u count goin to werk as goin out lah... juz one of those phases i haf.. e can't-be-bothered-wit-anythin-or-anyone-at-all phase.. or maybe it's juz me bin sick.. =/
newayz, got called out fer dhaka e otha day, like immediately after i signed in fer e airport standby, i wauz dispatched to join e rest on e aircraft.. neva haf i worked wit sooo many guys on a single flgt lah... lucky got e otha sinz girl, sarina... tanx to dat freakin flgt, i sorta had a relapse of e flu dat i wuz recoverin fm so i wuz practically dyin in e hotel rm... but, dat's not e only thing i wanna mention.. i had a freaky experience while in e hotel rm itself lah... as soon as we reached, we all made plans to meet up fer dinner at 6pm-dhaka time.. so, i thot i wuz still pretty much full of energy, i watched discovery channel, as usual, read a book, played texttwist on my hp... n b4 i knew it, i dozed off... i wuz rudely awaken by sthg punchin me on my back, since i wuz sleepin on my side... so, i turned n as soon as i wuz on my back, it felt like a force lyin on top of me.. i cld sorta make out e 'figure'.. it wuz like ,erm, it had a film negative effect.. u noe, when u look at e developed films, it's got dat kinda effect... so, there i wuz, bein 'sat' on, fightin back.. well, tryin too.. i rememba how panicked i wuz n i oso rememba readin out those prayers/verses in vain.. coz e thing had sucha force dat it refused to budge.. i wuz scared shitless lah.. den, i snapped out of it.. juz like dat.. at exactly 5pm.. so, i wuz in tears lah... freakin out.. coz i dun even noe if it wuz a dream, a nitemare or did it really happen.. coz e room, e position of stuff in e room, wuz all exactly like wat i saw durin dat 'ordeal'..

thing is, i realised dat i wasn't exactly sleepin in total darkness as wat i normally do, i had left e tv on coz i wuz watchin some show when i drifted off... so, it's not becoz i wuz in e dark.. newayz, i had to talk to someone but i wuz scared e rest of e crew were sleepin so i called obi-wan... he said maybe coz i din wash my feet n all so dat cld be why... den, i needed more comfortin, called home but my mum wuz busy wit guests who came fer raya..(din noe ppl are still visitin.. ) in e end, i decided to scram fm e room, got ready, went to e lobby bar to wait fer e rest.. too darn early lah, considerin e earliest person to join me wuz 15mins late.. sheesh...

sat ard, which wuz so not my idea of a gd time, but evryone turned up, like all 15 of us so it wuz a bit of a change... didn't help my flu at all, bein surrounded by all those smokers.. damn, i seriously tink dey shld enforce a stricter rule fer those who still wanna smoke.. i mean, instead of killin e rest ard u as well, put all these smokers in a box, where anyone who wans some nicotine fix juz pops in.. n e smoke wld be circulatin inside of e box itself, so no pollution n those who can't afford ciggies can revel in e 2nd-hand stuff.. heh..

i'm sorry, i dun haf anythin against ppl who choose to smoke, it's juz dat it annoys me big-time when ppl juz blow e smoke in yr face, wit no regards to e state of yr health or wat.. i mean, c'mon ppl, i wuz sick!! i cdln't breathe.. my throat wuz as parched as e roads in dubz n i wuz havin a tight chest kinda feelin... how inconsiderate others can be simply amazes me.. i noe, i cld haf left e place but there wuz no way i wuz abt to go back to dat room lah!!! no way, jose! so, had an expensive medicine in e bar.. had some cognac wit hot water.. recommended by e barguy.. surprisingly, it did help.. albeit slightly lah.. but it wuz alrite, given e fact dat i cld eat so much at e buffet after e drink.. hahaha... totally gorged myself, e guys were like, whoa, girl!!! hahaha... but e zimbabwean white girl wuz gettin on my nerves big time.. she's like so damn 'over' lah... so attention seekin.. her forced laughters n shrieky voice totally aggravated my headache! n she keeps goin, n goin, n goin,n goin, n goin... u catch my drift? after dinner, it wuz shoppin fer dvds time... den went to e crew lounge.. wahlau, dat one, is exactly like e box fer smokers i wuz imaginin.. as soon as u open e door, yr senses are assaulted by e mix of fresh n stale ciggie smoke... eeeurgh!! obviously i din stay longer than a min there... dey all stayed back to watch a newly purchased ice age 2 dvd.. hahahaha... how cute! so, i braved myself n went up to my room, which freaked me out fer a bit when i opened e dorr coz it wuz total darkness ah... kinda hesitated steppin in itell u.. hehehehe... but me bein e brave me, put e card in e slot n pretended nothin happened previously... but tank god, nothin happened after as well.. popped 2 panadols.. combine dat wit diluted cognac, flu n a full tummy, i wuz knocked out cold til e next mornin, juz in time fer e wake-up call.. hahahaha!!!! shiok man... contemplated callin sick coz my nose wuz severely blocked but no way wuz i gonna spend anotha nite there!! so glad to leave dat place really...

den, on e way to e airport, we were once more stuck in traffic, n again it made me depressed since e poverty there is like so bad ah.. kids were knockin on e window of our bus, callin out 'mama'.. n there were even kids, carryin babies wit em.. i mean, how pitiful n painful a sight is dat?? i hate it lah... totally hate these kinda feelin, depressin, frustratin all at e same time.. frustrated coz those kids dun deserve to be runnin in e middle of e roads, beggin... barefeet!!! dat's so not e place fer em to be at... sigh~
den, onboard, at first i felt pity fer e pax coz dey were almost all labourers, seekin a betta life fer their families.. but, it got annoyin when u see em blatantly strippin u mentally.. n dey simply brush up against u even tho there's like so much space in btw!!! i got pissed off big time!!! n e pity all dissappeared n loathe took over... i mean, i got annoyed over e slightest thing dey did.. like bein so suaku n disgustin n uncouth n uncivilised.. n not knowin how to use e toilets.. n askin fer evrythin dey cld.. n callin out fer water even tho i wuz servin 4rows ahead of em.. i mean like there's sucha thing called patience..

eventually, i lost it n snapped at some of em, i went 'can u pls be patient? i'm not runnin away ok? wait yr turn!!'... felt bad fer a bit but boy, did it feel gd at e moment itself... den i had flashbacks of e kids on e streets n i felt super guilty.. i mean, these ppl came fm dat kinda life so it's not a surprise dey act e way dey do... honestly, it wuz like a ping-pong game btw feelin bad n bein mean... e extremes... eeargh!!! n i hate dat!!!!!

®kinda feelin frustrated abt some stuff lately.. not too sure lah.. all these pent-up feelins... eeargh!!! sigh~

i survived!!

2006-11-03T09:55:00.000+04:00

well, am back... to dis darned place.. been away fer e raya festivities n so din feel like comin back here... newayz, i survived 12days witout my luggage.. came back to sinz empty-handed, wit only a big weekend bag, wit no toiletries, clothes or shoes... dun even feel like talkin abt it coz i'm beyond upset, beyond frustrated, beyond sad...

®so not in e mood to do anythin at all.. juz wanna veg out n rot e days away... doesn't help dat i'm down wit e flu as well... sigh~

aaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhh!!!!!!!!

2006-10-19T21:00:00.000+04:00

holy shit!!! i'm like sooo shakin rite now, in half uni... damn damn damn.... juz got back fm a flgt, saw my missed calls, decided to call em back n e first no. wuz surprise, surprise... it wuz ol mr nadz!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!! how come i'm shakin?? how come i'm so excited?? how come he's got dis kinda effect on me??! still?!!? i mean, i've oredi got obi-wan.. rite?? aaargh... i'm sucha mess now... talked to naz, talked to harlz... still confused...

suicidal roaches?

2006-10-17T03:40:00.000+04:00

as promised, names, if any, has been changed to protect e identity of those involved.. havin said dat, i wld also like to add, juz fer e fun of it, dat events potrayed are purely fer entertainment n any similarities to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.. rrrrrite!!!!! *winkz*

how harmless does dat bug look? (dat's e cutest roach eva ho-key?!) innocent enuf, if u asked me..
but not when dey end up in yr boxers.. when u haf em on!!!! crawlin amongst yr family jewels, yr intimate bits, yr lil bro.. wat the...!!!!! i'd probly die.. there n den.. firstly fm shock.. den disgust.. den hurl my guts out.. n den die again... but of coz not before i scream my head off like a girl who juz saw her fave boyband member doin some suggestive moves.. heh.... well, yeah, den again, pity e lil roach, trapped in an alien jungle (HAHAHAHAH).. i'm sure it muz haf been so disorientated n near-death when it wuz finally released fm e torture of bein in such close proximity wit those foreign pieces of flesh.. wonderin if it cld breathe even.. i mean, how wuz e air down there? wuz it fresh? acrid? ammonia-ish?? LOL!!!!!!! honestly, dis is one classic story to tell e grankids.. it mite even come wit a moral attached to it.. probly will be sthg along e line of 'always check yr boxers before u put em on..' or simply 'clean yr boxers, or u cld haf roaches nestin in em.. n i kid u not! it happened to a young man i once knew.............'

n wonderin as well, wat cld haf gone thru e lil bug's head.. as in wat cld it haf had thot? 'oooh, wat's those two bits of ba**s doin down here? n wat abt dat finger-lookin thing? isn't it at e wrong place? i mean, e hands' r up there..' hahaha, okie, i'm crappin... i can sooo imagine bein in e roach's shoes (all 6? of em) tho, unable to escape, approachin ground zero in slow motion n den be in total darkness, willin myself to die... (tak sempat mengucap u noe..) unless, it's one perv of a roach, n it wuz totally enjoyin itself lah, rubbin its handsss togetha in absolute glee..=P but e fact dat e guy in question wuz so oblivious n scratched dat area coz it wuz kinda ithchy n scratchy simply amazes me!! i mean, i'll definitely be so traumatised dat it'll bring my phobia of creepy-crawlies to a whole new level!! n not to mention how hard i'll be scrubbin e affected area or even disinfectin it wit a litre of dettol; at least... eeeeeeuuuwww... i shudder juz at e thots of it.. dun even wanna imagine.. let's not even go there yah?

®am i evil or am i evil?? muahahahaha...

..e song of e moment..

2006-10-15T18:55:00.000+04:00

isn't he talented? n isn't e song wonderful? totally my theme song rite now.. heh heh heh... i mean, how can u not fall in luv listenin to e song? as in fall in luv wit someone n e song itself... e rawness of his voice coupled wit his earnest lyrics... ~swoooon~

..u give me sthg..

2006-10-15T17:07:00.000+04:00

rite, less than an hr to go til my standby ends... 48mins to me reclaimin back my so-called life.. hahahaha... tinkin of goin out, needa get those chocodates, e airplane model fer my daddy, hmmm, n dat's abt it... surprising hey? dat my shoppin list's dat short... hahaha.. but seriously, haven't really indulged in my fave past-time so far... been a looong while since i had some retail therapy.. maybe coz i'm kept busy nowadays wit my new toy.. heh... nope, it's not a boy, tho i do haf one n he does keep me very busy as well.. i'm talkin abt my webby-cammy... i noe, i noe, very suaku... but yeah, after nearly 2 yrs here, i've finally gotten myself a webby-cammy!!! hello, world!!! LOL!! too bad, dey bloody blocked skype over here.. so it's like watchin a silent movie.. n u hafta pay very close attention to e subtitles... =P i like my new toy so far altho i wish it cld haf lesser lags.. e frames are juz too slow but considerin my lappy, there's not much choice i haf when choosin one.. =( i luv my lappy, wit all my heart, but sometimes i feel, it's juz too troublesome... too high-maintenance, if u will.. but i'd neva trade it away, not unless it's like irrepairable (is there sucha word?) or so gone til e point of no return.. hahahah... choy!!! i luv my baby... *hugz*
neways, dat's not gonna happen anytime soon coz i noe i take really gd care of lappy-baby.. =P

anyhoos, today's e 15th oct.. n it happens to be e bifdays of 2 very sweet n special ppl in my life...

dat's afida.. she's been like e elder sista to me over here.. we worked togetha n we most definitely partied togetha.. hard.. she's like sucha fun person to be ard wit, yet she still makes it a point to keep an eye out fer me.. still rememba dat time she got pissed off big time when some random dude offered me a shot in boudoir.. i nonchalantly took it n wuz abt to down it when she hit e glass away fm my hands... i've neva felt so cared fer.. especially in boudoir.. she's there to listen to me whine n when she needs to bitch n moan abt a certain musang berjanggut, i make it a point to be there fer her as well... i feel her pain n i feel her joy.. n dat's special, considerin how long (or short, fer dat matter.. a yr plus maybe?) we've known each other.. n then there's those malicious stories i've heard abt her... irregardless, i still care fer her coz i noe some rumours are juz e deeds of myopic ppl who judge too soon.. some may dislike her but i fer one, luv her to bits n am not shy abt dat.. in a totally heterosexual way lah.. heh.... she's e life of e party n even tho we mite not see each other fer wks on end, i can appreciate e fact dat we can simply pick up fm where we left off.. to me, there's nothin fake abt her n i like dat..
so, to my beloved afida, may dis yr be of great blessings n may u finally be happy in luv wit u-noe-who.. u noe i kinda frown upon e fact he's takin u fer granted, but if he's e one who keeps u happy, there's nothin more i can say... *huuuugggzz*

n den there's kerry... hmm, dis one.. e history we haf runs a looong way back.. back when we were still in skool, skippin classes togetha, sneakin into e movie theatre at east point, only to get caught.. in uniform, no less!! hahahaa.. e frenship dat blossomed into sthg so beautiful, it's etched in my heart fer good, or probly til e day i get dementia... hehehe... still rememba those days, so sheepish n shy ard one anotha, n how we kept e rlsp under wraps fm even our closest frenz, simply coz we were too shy abt it... jeez, how those days r so gone... judgin by how shameless i've become.. LOL!!! n den, i still rememba dat time when late angah wuz hospitalised, n how he actually sent me all e way to sgh, after skool.. all.. e.. way!! n he stays in pasir ris, mind u.. den, he wuz on e fone when i broke down abt her passin.. how his keepin quiet wuz e best comfort he cld offer, lettin me mourn it all out.. those poems, those gifts (i lost dat bear in a heart pendant he got fer my bifday n haf been kickin meself in e arse til today.. =/), n dat watch.. e one he din eat properly fer a mth, i tink, juz to save up fer.. still usin it actually.. dun tink it's healthy of me to be doin dat but hmmm...
dat wuz like sooo long ago oredi lah.. oh, n he wuz always there when i wuz tryin my luck wit e airlines.. he always gave me e encouragement n support n i s'pose he's one of e reason or even inspiration fer me to be where i am rite now.. he's always sacrificed so much fer me, be it financially, physically or emotionally.. if i'm soundin like i still hold a torch fer him, fret not.. life has changed so bloody much n i'm beyond dat luv we had.. he's more of like a dear, dear person in my heart, who's definitely special beyond doubts.. he's always been there fer me, unconditionally, even after all e hurt i put him thru.. fer dat, i'm foreva guilty n my conscience will neva be clear.. it's like we've moved beyond dat luv btw a girl n a guy to a luv fm a person to anotha... he is truly amazin n a treasure.. lucky is e girl who'll end up wit him.. wish him all e luck n luv in e werld, coz he deserves nothin less than dat... words juz can't describe how grateful i am to haf him in my life.. i truly luv dis guy.. without a doubt..

but now, i'm at a totally new chapter.. a whole new beginnin.. n i believe i've found sthg pretty amazin n beautiful, juz tinkin of it gives me a warm, fuzzy feelin all over.. it's still in e early stages but i'm oredi lookin forward to wat's in store.. how 2 ppl can feel so similar n be so open n honest to one anotha is simply beautiful.. neva in my life haf i let my guards down so much, it's like i'm an open book wheneva we're togetha.. how perfect it all seems is really freakin me out.. nonetheless, i'm still willin to give it a try... juz like dat james morrison's song... ~sigh~

®gosh, feelin so sentimental rite now man.. i am truly blessed..

why, hello...

2006-10-15T16:05:00.000+04:00

e sun's shinin bright..
i am happy..
~bliss~

drivin in circles..

2006-10-14T13:23:00.000+04:00

i simply lurve dis 'chasing cars' song by snow patrol... been on repeat on my playlist.. somehow, it gives me dis stir of emotions wheneva i listen to it.. maybe it's juz e arrangement of e music... or maybe it's e simplicity of e lyrics.. like totally relatable, noe wat i mean? i wldn't mind juz lyin down somewhere, peferably not in e middle of e road, n juz let e day go by.. n e best bit is dat no one needs to say a single word, but to juz revel in each other's presence.. coz i find dat more precious than words.. n i shld noe, bein so far away fm home.. sometimes, i juz feel like i've had enuf of words.. enuf fonecalls, enuf msn, enuf smses.. dey're juz not e same as bein e e presence of yr luved ones.. (not to mention how costly it gets!!) but on e risk of confusin u lot, i hafta admit tho, dey're juz not enuf.. given a choice, i'd trade anything (well, almost) to juz sit there, side by side, not sayin a word, than havin to make conversations.. sure, it'll be nice to haf a chat n exchange some sweet words, but e best conversation cld be one void of any.. it's like yr souls communicate wit each other n it's on a deeper level.. u seek n u find comfort in dat closeness in proximity.. n dis doesn't juz apply to couples in love, in fact, frens, family, anyone, cld bond dat way..... sigh, maybe i'm juz lackin human comforts rite now.. i badly need a hug!!! be it a received hug or a given, i juz need one terribly... to make me feel loved again.. i've had my fair share of turnin to food fer solace, it's abt time i got some human touch.. =/ cue dat song.. 'when i tink abt u i touch myself...ooohhooohh...' LOL!!!!
gosh, i'm sucha whiner..

juz feelin a lil homesick at e moment.. i cld tell, coz wheneva i feel dat way, i listen to michael buble's 'home'.. heh... i miss my dear frens sorely.. honest!! been tinkin abt em a lot lately.. wonderin how their lives are/has been/will be... i'm sucha lousy fren, it's amazin dat i still can consider em as mine.. i noe i tend to neglect em big-time n i've neva showed my affection as much as i shld.. but it's juz me... maybe i take evrythin fer granted.. not dat i dun realise my mistakes but i s'pose old habits die hard.. hmmm, ultimately, i tink i'm blessed.. to be surrounded by ppl who care abt me n frenz who luv me despite it all.. i hope! hahahahaha.. seriously, to quote a quote tinz quoted.. "frenz are god's apologies fer relatives".. or sthg along dat line.. =P den again, i dun tink i'm e only person who's closer to their frenz as compared to their own flesh n blood.. well, as i said, i s'pose i take evrythin fer granted.. relatives included..

®i've had a few fave songs lately, maybe due to e fact dat i'm in e listen-to-songs-and-act-emo phase.. LOL!!! dunno lah, so many uncertainties dat i wish were certain.. sigh~

i luv oldies...

2006-10-12T19:03:00.000+04:00

yep, it's a freakin looong walk, n we actually blocked off e front cabin!!

3hrs to go!!! on standby 2 rite now... 12hrs of my life bein in suspended animation!! have i eva mention dat i hate reserve!!? had my first eva airport standby yday n got called out fer jeddah.. tank god it's ramadhan, so not much ppl ate.. n on e way back, there wuz only 45 pax!!! on a 777 mind u!! so, e other 2cabins in e back were like totally empty.. has anyone heard of e crew takin 40mins break each on a jeddah?!?! dat's gotta be e sweeetest jeddah on record!! LOL!!! n it din hurt dat e crew were a nice bunch, flew wit amy again, n some other girls i've flew b4... felt bad dat amy wuz werkin so hard but it wuz juz one of my lazy days.. but i wasn't e only one newayz.. =/
so yeah, had to be at CBC by 6am.. signed in n to my horror, my name wuz like rite at e top of e list!!! damn damn damn... wat r e chances rite? i mean, i wuz e most senior so most likely i'd be pulled out fer shitty flgts... but of coz i wuz juz panickin.. hehehe.. audrey n pamz were oso there so we juz accompanied each other n started cravin fer home-style brekky.. like nasi lemak n prata telur wit kari... yummmm... there we were, a nerve-wreck, not knowin where we'd be goin n yet we were droolin over such stuff!! but i tell u, i've neva been so nervous in sucha long time, in fact, my knees went weak evrytime e counter guy came over to call out e names... my heart wuz like literally poundin!!! as if it wuz back in skool days n u were waitin fer e results or sthg...hahahaha... drama rite?? but sweet, sweet obi-wan wuz like totally layan-in me on e sms-es.. i wuz bein sucha baby n kept disturbin him wit my incessant whingins.. hehehehe...

newayz, dat wuz yday... slept so much today, been a while since i last indulged in dat n boy did it feel good!! heee... forced myself up ard 2 i tink n my batt feels flat oredi... damn, where e hell's my stamina?!? wuz online wit mr obi-wan fer more than 4hrs.. on e web-cammy n oh, i haf to mention dis b4 i forget!!! e other day, he actually printed out e 3 magic words on paper, n flashed em on e web-cammy!!! how sweet is dat? i mean, totally unexpected n totally melted me big time!!! see, he's like sucha hopeless romantic n i feel e same way ard him.. i mean, it's bad coz i've always known how to hold it back but when i'm ard him, i juz can't stop e feelin!!! like so emo n overly-sweet... it's really damn scary.. i mean, it's as if e floodgates of emotions juz fly open when i'm wit him, either in person or online lah... there's no-holds barred!!! n i dun like dat feelin coz it makes me feel so vulnerable.. as in, i'll put all e cards on e table n i dun even noe how it's gonna be dealt.... but tank god, he feels e same way.. n it's juz so bizarre how we feel so similar abt one anotha even tho we din even noe of each other's existence til only recently... man... i neva felt like dis before.. n listenin to all these romantic oldie songs ain't helpin much either! currently ol nat king cole's serenadin me wit 'when i fall in luv'... so apt.. den again, almoz all e love songs seems so apt rite now!! heh!!!!

but i wuz juz tinkin, how funny it is coz it seems dat when there's no one in yr life, there's absolutely none.. n when u do find somebody, there seems to be so many others interested in u.. like hello?! where were u guys when i wuz lonely n needed someone??!! not funny u noe.. i mean, it's oredi hard enuf to give yr heart to someone in particular but when u're surrounded by so many other interested parties, how can u make sure u chose e right one fer u?! wat shld be e basis fer e choice?! hence, anotha unsolved mystery of life...

®nonetheless, i'm pretty confident i made e right decision.. he's like a total catch, well, at least to me.. he juz makes me feel so me.. noe wat i mean? n i tink dat's e most important factor of all.. fer someone to luv u fer u n vice-versa.. n wit evry passin day, i'm fallin so much more into him.. it's definitely a scary feelin but it feels right.. so, let's keep e fingers crossed dat history's not gonna repeat itself.. wish me luck, guys!!

.:*throwin muses*:.